Aa
callling on rooftrash
how's it going bruce? is the lexapro working better than the zoloft? i sure hope so...
i am really in a major funk today...was going to a family reunion...canceled. went to auburn university for a luncheon honoring the school of engineering scholarship recipients...OMG boring...it's raining cats and dogs outside...lots of thunder and lightning...i am very frightened of bad weather. i ran off a couple of friends...they won't listen to me. my little chihuahua had a poo poo accident on an area rug...my husband stepped in it and it is just mashed all down in the fibers...don't want to clean it up. just a mucked up day...couldn't get any worse. it's days like these when thoughts of my boys monopolize my mind. i am so freaking depressed that i just want to run away...just get away from everything and everyone. i am so tired...no one knows or has any idea the depth of my depression...try to be the strong one. christian and i are alot alike in that we try to mask our depression with humor...so that others will not think we are weak and suffering. everyone always says "you are so strong"...but you know what...i'm not...just a damn good actress.
sorry...i was asking about you and somehow it turned into poor me...just needed to vent...guess i could have just written "myself" a letter instead of my sons.
hope you are ok.
kim
i am really in a major funk today...was going to a family reunion...canceled. went to auburn university for a luncheon honoring the school of engineering scholarship recipients...OMG boring...it's raining cats and dogs outside...lots of thunder and lightning...i am very frightened of bad weather. i ran off a couple of friends...they won't listen to me. my little chihuahua had a poo poo accident on an area rug...my husband stepped in it and it is just mashed all down in the fibers...don't want to clean it up. just a mucked up day...couldn't get any worse. it's days like these when thoughts of my boys monopolize my mind. i am so freaking depressed that i just want to run away...just get away from everything and everyone. i am so tired...no one knows or has any idea the depth of my depression...try to be the strong one. christian and i are alot alike in that we try to mask our depression with humor...so that others will not think we are weak and suffering. everyone always says "you are so strong"...but you know what...i'm not...just a damn good actress.
sorry...i was asking about you and somehow it turned into poor me...just needed to vent...guess i could have just written "myself" a letter instead of my sons.
hope you are ok.
kim
Hi Kim!Sorry about the depression.I know all about that lately.I took only 5 mg of lexapro and still some anxiety and just overall crudy feeling.My doc is going to rx me some anxiety drugs on monday.just for a week or two until i get used to the lexapro.We have a small storm rolling in tonight.we need the rain.I hope my new cat[chewy]isn't afraid.I think your letter to your sons was good therapy for you.It is good for us to vent.After we lost Bryan i vented on the walls in the garage.now i have sheet rock work to do.i think puting my feelings out on this laptop is more healthy.I hope you feel better.keep posting.Your Friend Bruce
I'm glad you wrote to your sons. You let us see your inner most thoughts. How loving and caring you really are, and how you are grieving for your sons. I have battled with depression since I was 19. The fentanyl just made it worse.
I have always had a theory. I think people who are depressed are master's of deception. I am amoung them. We know when to laugh, when to say something witty, how to make people think we're just dandy. In reality, we don't feel that way at all. We have merely learned to survive in a world that doesn't understand us. I feel I can be open on this forum because I have seldom said any of this before.
Hang in there and you have my eamail (which I haven't checked yet today)..oops
Big hugs......C
I have always had a theory. I think people who are depressed are master's of deception. I am amoung them. We know when to laugh, when to say something witty, how to make people think we're just dandy. In reality, we don't feel that way at all. We have merely learned to survive in a world that doesn't understand us. I feel I can be open on this forum because I have seldom said any of this before.
Hang in there and you have my eamail (which I haven't checked yet today)..oops
Big hugs......C
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