Aa
Isn't it funny?
Hey guys,
Haven't been on in a while, just browsing every once in a while. I hope you are all doing great. Welp, isn't it funny that your mind can talk you into takin' a pill no matter what the reason. "Oh, it's just one" or "Eh, I'll just take a few" or "my back hurts, I'll only take it til it stops" UGHHHH!!!! Anything to be able to get your mind wrapped around taking one again. Welp after going 13 days, I started taking 1 in the morning and one at night, saying to myself "if I can handle this without taking more, then I'll be ok", welp it wasn't ok... I think it was Wednesday and Thursday maybe? that I started taking up to 7 - 30mg oxys... when I ran out (and you will taking that many in one day) Saturday and Sunday were hell!! Today I feel wonderful again, got my daughter dressed, did both daughters hair (I never do these things when I'm on the pills, never wanna get outta bed in the morning, I get up just in time to get them on the bus grrr) brushed little ones teeth, and everything, made breakfast. Why the hell do I do this to myself? Why can't I just get it through my head that the pills don't make me feel better, that they make me feel like they will when I don't have any and that's all? Welp, I just wanted ya'll to know I luvs you all and don't take a pill, it's so not worth it, not matter what the reason, you always feel better without them instead of with them. Cinnamon, I loved your post, it's so true, natural high? you can't get any better than that with your little ones... Luvs you all, Lil.
Haven't been on in a while, just browsing every once in a while. I hope you are all doing great. Welp, isn't it funny that your mind can talk you into takin' a pill no matter what the reason. "Oh, it's just one" or "Eh, I'll just take a few" or "my back hurts, I'll only take it til it stops" UGHHHH!!!! Anything to be able to get your mind wrapped around taking one again. Welp after going 13 days, I started taking 1 in the morning and one at night, saying to myself "if I can handle this without taking more, then I'll be ok", welp it wasn't ok... I think it was Wednesday and Thursday maybe? that I started taking up to 7 - 30mg oxys... when I ran out (and you will taking that many in one day) Saturday and Sunday were hell!! Today I feel wonderful again, got my daughter dressed, did both daughters hair (I never do these things when I'm on the pills, never wanna get outta bed in the morning, I get up just in time to get them on the bus grrr) brushed little ones teeth, and everything, made breakfast. Why the hell do I do this to myself? Why can't I just get it through my head that the pills don't make me feel better, that they make me feel like they will when I don't have any and that's all? Welp, I just wanted ya'll to know I luvs you all and don't take a pill, it's so not worth it, not matter what the reason, you always feel better without them instead of with them. Cinnamon, I loved your post, it's so true, natural high? you can't get any better than that with your little ones... Luvs you all, Lil.
welcome back girl...was worried about you.
after the initial shock of christian and HIV...i had time...alot of time...to just sit back and think...try to figure things out. i know this may sound strange...but...i think him getting HIV will save his life. at least extend it. if he had continued on the path he was on with the meth...he probably wouldn't have made it much longer. if he stays clean...he now has a chance to live another 20-25 years.
what i'm trying to say is that maybe you slipping up is what it took to show you that you don't want to live like that...to feel that way. it only showed you that you are an addict...and that you can't take "just" one or two. it's all or nothing sweetie...and i'm so proud that you realized that and got a handle on it before it was too late.
don't stay gone so long...........................
huggs,
kim
after the initial shock of christian and HIV...i had time...alot of time...to just sit back and think...try to figure things out. i know this may sound strange...but...i think him getting HIV will save his life. at least extend it. if he had continued on the path he was on with the meth...he probably wouldn't have made it much longer. if he stays clean...he now has a chance to live another 20-25 years.
what i'm trying to say is that maybe you slipping up is what it took to show you that you don't want to live like that...to feel that way. it only showed you that you are an addict...and that you can't take "just" one or two. it's all or nothing sweetie...and i'm so proud that you realized that and got a handle on it before it was too late.
don't stay gone so long...........................
huggs,
kim
I'm so glad that your son is off that and yes he will live a long life. I have a friend (good friend) that has HIV and has had it for as long as I've known him (around 8-10 years) and he's a healthy as anyone. He'll be ok. And your son is such a sweetie.
Yeah, I just got tired of the drama, not sayin' that's what pushed me over the edge but damnnnnnnn... I still don't feel good enough to sit here for too long. Gotta keep movin' sometimes or the jitters will come back yuckkkk... hate that damn feelingggggg!!!! But thank you for your response, you are a sweetie!! Luvs ya, Lil.
Yeah, I just got tired of the drama, not sayin' that's what pushed me over the edge but damnnnnnnn... I still don't feel good enough to sit here for too long. Gotta keep movin' sometimes or the jitters will come back yuckkkk... hate that damn feelingggggg!!!! But thank you for your response, you are a sweetie!! Luvs ya, Lil.
just remember that this is a "public" forum and anyone can post. i've been here a while now and i have seen my fair share of drama...it comes...it goes. for some reason there are those who enjoy "stirring the pot" so to speak. we have just got to learn to not respond...which is so hard to do...hehe. i know this firsthand. i didn't let "my attack" bother me because i know who i am and my reasons for being here...what was upsetting to me is what it did to other ppl...some are gone...some are just lurking...some may not trust me any more and then there were all the new ppl who said WTF is going on here. i must say though that i handled it better when it was me instead of one of my friends here. it's just sad :(
you bring alot to this forum...advice...support...and even humor. so stay around and stay strong...we all need each other for support...each person brings something different to this place...and all combined, it is a great forum.
huggs,
kim
you bring alot to this forum...advice...support...and even humor. so stay around and stay strong...we all need each other for support...each person brings something different to this place...and all combined, it is a great forum.
huggs,
kim
I am so glad that you are back!!! I got so excited when I saw your name at the top of the page. I sent you an email but I think you got it when you were feeling bad so I don't know. It is so good to hear that you are feeling this good! I totally agree with you. WHY? Why do we let our minds tell us that pills will solve all of our problems and if we just had one, everything would be okay?!? I do the exact same thing. And then they end up dragging us down in this sickening hole that takes away who we are and turns us on our loved ones.
I hope you continue to feel this good!
I hope you continue to feel this good!
Hey sister!
I've been away, too (Hubby's B-day party and visiting in-laws) but I was delighted to see your post. Glad you are back on board; would you call this day #3? I'm also happy you're feeling positive today. Yes, the insanity of having to "control" our using is absurd--when I get in the ring with those little devils, I lose EVERY TIME! In the past I always came back to get beat up over and over. By the grace of God, I HOPE I've learned my lesson for good.It's SOOOO much easier to not take them at all!
Big Hugs to You My Friend...I'll be thinkin about you all day.
Love, Athena
I've been away, too (Hubby's B-day party and visiting in-laws) but I was delighted to see your post. Glad you are back on board; would you call this day #3? I'm also happy you're feeling positive today. Yes, the insanity of having to "control" our using is absurd--when I get in the ring with those little devils, I lose EVERY TIME! In the past I always came back to get beat up over and over. By the grace of God, I HOPE I've learned my lesson for good.It's SOOOO much easier to not take them at all!
Big Hugs to You My Friend...I'll be thinkin about you all day.
Love, Athena
So glad all of you are doin' good. So sorry about bein' away and won't be able to pop in, my back is still killin me. I just wanted to thank you for all your posts back to me and say that I still think about ya'll everyday. Luvs ya, Lil.
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
Is treating glaucoma with marijuana all hype, or can hemp actually help?
If you think marijuana has no ill effects on your health, this article from Missouri Medicine may make you think again.
Julia Aharonov, DO, reveals the quickest way to beat drug withdrawal.
Tricks to help you quit for good.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
