Hi, I just wish you the best of luck and may God Bless you. God is the only one who can truly help you and comfort you at same time. Your children are a  reason to know you can do this but you are human, you are worth everything to God, He does not look down on you. Because of Jesus we are all reconciled and you can do this. Do you have a bible? Romans 8:26 says "In the same way the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express."  
Ephesians 3:16  "I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through Faith!
You can do anything through Christ alone who strengthens you. Just call out to Him. I have only been addicted to cocaine. It's been 4 years. I thought I got myself off of it but I was so wrong. My little brother started going to church around that time after quitting coke and he is a youth pastor. I realized i got off of it due to his FAITH in me (brothers and Gods) I had to tell my brother and mom when I started using again 6 years ago and honestly, having them to hold me accountable and telling myself everyday I would not the stuff again, I made a promise. I am clean and I am a Christian now. I cannot even explain what God can do for you. Even during my moms death He has been my comfort instead of drugs and I wasn't saved when my mom died. I had small children while I was addicted, I even hung myself, my brothers found me and saved me. I felt I could not quit but I did and I thank God for putting my brother where he could hear me. He is always there, just cry out to him. Go in your bedroom and pray, just sit down, get on your knees, do whatever you have to. Say Father God, your word says I can do anything through Christ who strengthens me, I am counting on this promise from you, your Word also says you are the Father of promises, please help me with my addiction, I am scared of w/d for I have small children who need me. Cover me with your love, protect me from the w/d. I need your help today. In Jesus' name i pray, Amen.
Recite that prayer and pray like mad everyday. Even if you feel like you can't just open your Bible. When you have bad thoughts they are not from God. If its not in the Bible it comes from evil source (which is where drugs come from) and it is not true. You can do this. With God on your side who can be against you? It might be a good idea to tell your family, so they can hold you accountable but know that God is not like our earthly family, He will never foresake you. He loves you no matter what you do and if you relapse just get back up. I hope you find some comfort in this. My sis in law was shooting heroin and she is clean now thanks be to the Good Lord. She had no other options left. May God Bless you and you are in my prayers. You can do this.

Oh Lord, you know as rediculous as it is, I'm not suprised. Doctors that do not specialize in addiction or are not familiar with what is happening in the brain and body tend to do what your last doctor did. And Suboxone is anything but a quick fix. You don't get a high from suboxone and the naloxone in it will prevent you from getting high from any other opiates(though it's not impossible) Most all opiate users relapse on average 10-25 times in their life. The average is much much less on suboxone than even methadone. There are just so many doctors not familiar with it, It was only approved for use with opiate withdrawal in the mid 90's so it is very new. If you have to go to an outpatient program you probably should. For right now I would suggest that you just take enough percocet so that you don't withdraw. If you're doing 200mg, then dropping to 50mg. you will still withdrawal. Basically just take a little at a time until your withdrawal symptoms subside but not enough to get high. I have a patient right now I'll check back on this post in an hour when session is over.

xo -D.

PS I really hope that the comments everyone is leaving are helpful. I know you must feel helpless but you're not, a lot of people are here for you to help you get through this without judging you b/c they actually understand.

even though I've done pills for a week or so. I feel so horrible in the morning when i wake up, i stress about it so much that i get my self sick, literally. I really want to be "clean" but it's so hard to stop. You really think that i wont have those horrible w'd's again?

no  you won't alot is the attitude sel talk is very powerul try not to think to much can make you sick keep as busy as possible tell your sel a lot o it bis out o your body .  Mind is power think aboiut other things anything oit won't be as bad at least thats been my experience. even tapering it the mind don't go crazy ok inch by inch not yard by yard .

I think it's important that you know that you DO NOT have to go through those withdrawals like that again a better doctor would not have put you on prozac after 200mg of oxy's. That's rediculous. And your Dr. isn't so smart to tell you that you just have to go through the w/d's b/c they can be dangerous and he/she would be liable. Your friend that gave you suboxone, do you know if it is subutex(buprenorphine) or suboxone(buprenorphine/naloxone)? The naloxone in suboxone will block the effects of any opiates you take and send you into withdrawal if you still have opiates in your system. If you took suboxone earlier and you take percocet in a while the oxyodone will not have an effect due to the naloxone.

You are feeling so bad about yourself and you shouldn't. You are doing the only thing that you can to function b/c a doctor did not do what was best for you. Prozac takes 3 weeks to kick in, it doesn't increase serotonin immidiately like xanax, valium. or ativan. And those are not helpful with withdrawal for everyone. You're NOT being a bad person, it would probably be worse for eveyone if you just stopped cold turkey, you can't even function that way and you can't control that, your brain needs something that it hasn't been producing by itself for a long time b/c the drugs have been providing it.

I don't know if you have tried methadone beofore but that is always an option. I wrote a post earlier about suboxone, you can usually get a prescription from your doctor for this (i would not advise going to the same doctor that gave you the prozac) If you start on subutex you can usually avoid the withdrawal. Then go to suboxone once the opiates are out of your system. I have a husband and a daughter too. My husband is a doctor at a methadone clinic. I myself am a professional in the field and have been taking liquid hydrocodone in etended 12 hr. release form for over 8 years. It took over 7 years before I experienced any withdrawal symptoms when I didn't take it.You don't have to go through that again!!

xoxo- D.

I begged and begged my dr, any dr for that fact, to put me on suboxone. No one in my area will perscribe it. No one uses it they say. I went on the suboxone web site and pulled up all the dr's that use it and called them all. it was either a 6 month waiting list or they said they only use it in an in patient program. That's why I've been getting it from friends.  My regular md had no clue what to say to me when I told them about my problem. He said he had never dealt with this type of addiction and my psych. dr only tells me that I have to go through that hell to not want to go back. he said that people use suboxone as a quick fix and usually end up relapsing. That is seriouslly what he said.......I do feel like my life is spriling downward. Every morning i look in to the faces of my 2 beautifull children and get so sad. They dont deserve this, I dont need this. I know i can be better, If i can just get over that hump. Im on that road, I just cant stay on it and I dont know why.

there is another website it is NAABT.com   what you do on this website is enter all of your information as far as addiction adn what type of help you are looking for and they send all the info to the local doctors in your area that can help you and the actual doctors email you back with their numbers so you can set something up with them. I did it this way and found my current Suboxone doctor from that web site, he emailed me the same day I put the info on that website and he gave me his personal phone number and I saw him the next morning...  Just another suggestion for you to get help I hope it helps you, at least try it....

We can all get through this together!  I know what you are going through and my plight is similar.  Something positive somone told me on this site is to be grateful you are not six feet under and take good care of youself.  Be grateful for every hour that you still can fight this... don't beat up on yourself at all because you are not alone in this fight.  You may have to get honest again and try it again!  Be patient with yourself and if you can, get some time off of work!  Detox, anything but going up with the drug in numbers.  I can speak for most of here that we Love you and care about you!!!

thanks for all the advice. i will try anything to just get these pills out of my life. Any advice on any OTC meds that would help?  

been there ,things will not get worse, they will get better, be positive no matter what. one thing i did wrong since being clean, is i went on suboxone ,16 days ago because, I thought imight use so i did ,but at least it wasnt my oxy ,choice, which i no, i would be right back ,to square one ,im getting right off the suboxone, but with the help of everyone on here and i will be clean again as of this next 10 days. So my point is i by the grace of god I used sub ., After hearing your story, NOW this is only my opinion but in these last 16 days or so and being the only time i used sub , i know it might sound crazy but if i ever go to use again suboxone is, and was a life saver in more then one way . I have severe depression, nothing has never even came close to taking it away , well on my thirdof 6 mgs. day ,it was gone , and i can see things i havent seen  in years trees , birds, etc. just in 16 days,  I wish I new about sub 4 years ago ,because I know my darling bro, who died from drugs , would be here right now ... So Ileave u with this, I dont need the sub,rightnow, But in my heart, all  my heart, with sub and the right doc,  you would be that happy person you said you wanted back . So that came from a stranger ,But it came from my bro to, which means something good .God bless oxy27.Go with your heart !!     kawy ! SMILE !

Skyfoxglitter: awesome suggestion!!! That would probably be the best thing you can do right now is to use that website! Especially being that sky got a response so quickly and an appointment the next day. Doctors familiar with addiction realize that STAT (ASAP) is the thing when it comes to withdrawals! Or as House likes to say (if any of you watch that show) double STAT!

Kawy: That was incredibly inspirational, awesome post I'm sure that had to be very encouraging!

oxy: Did you notice how quickly everyone jumped on your post as soon as you posted it? This is a wonderful place for support! The people here are great! I really hope you go to the website that fox left.
I'm off to lunch with hubby, not seeing anymore patients today so i'll be checking back in later! PLEASE let us all know how that website works out for you and how you are doing. There is a lot of support here, and the mental and emotional support is crucial!

xoxo- Dutchess

Thanks for the reply yesterday 4/24 Would you mind answering my last post 4/24 Thanx for helping me out and it sounds like you have helped alot Hopetotalk tomorrow

You are such a sweet member here and so lovely w/ your words of comfort to others.  You are a survivor and strong and it shows b/c you want help.  

ok so you screwed no point taking in giving in i you stop now you won't have withdrawl just pawa give the prozac time to work.  I know it hard the mental part is the worst or me but don't hate yoursel your kids need you this is a tough time but it doesn't have to stay this way , don't tell them just get back on track you can do it, slipping is part o recovery no need to spiral down deeper, stop  now let the past go and don't hate yoursel or slipping ok.