Aa
Quiet around here tonight..
Hope everyone is having a relaxing night... its quiet around here so i guess everyone is... its funny it used to be crazy here on the weekend.. lots of scared new comers lots of people on day one.. not this weekend though.. i hope that because people are fighting the fight and hanging on strong..
As for me.. I am confused.. I can't decide if I wanna just keep tapering and then go cold turkey after my wedding, do I wanna do the 4-5 day Suboxone detox, or do I want to stay right where I am forever.. You get comfortable.. even in pain, even when things are hard. I know my life would be better if stop taking pills everyday. Getting there however is so hard and scary.. fear is holding me back. Its even holding me back from making a decision about how to stop. I have all the support a girl could ask for. When I quit heroin, cocaine and crack 8 years ago I didn't even have this kind of support. But yet.. I am still holding back still afriad. I have been here for months and still here I am.. I was so close before. down to 5mgs a day.. then back up. then back down..I hate rollercoasters. Why do i keep getting back in line to go again??
As for me.. I am confused.. I can't decide if I wanna just keep tapering and then go cold turkey after my wedding, do I wanna do the 4-5 day Suboxone detox, or do I want to stay right where I am forever.. You get comfortable.. even in pain, even when things are hard. I know my life would be better if stop taking pills everyday. Getting there however is so hard and scary.. fear is holding me back. Its even holding me back from making a decision about how to stop. I have all the support a girl could ask for. When I quit heroin, cocaine and crack 8 years ago I didn't even have this kind of support. But yet.. I am still holding back still afriad. I have been here for months and still here I am.. I was so close before. down to 5mgs a day.. then back up. then back down..I hate rollercoasters. Why do i keep getting back in line to go again??
I'm sorry you're frustrated. I know you have done things for others. Now it's time to help yourself. Tapering or c/t are both hard. There's a chance that the time isn't here yet that will make you quit. You're a wonderful person now and I know you're strong. Maybe you can give it another try?? If you don't make it, you can always keep trying. (I got that from mangee's post.) If you were as good to yourself as you are to others, you would be clean.
You have a lot on your mind now. Maybe when things settle down you can make it all the way to the end. I would love to see you do that. I want you to be completely happy in all aspects of your life.
Big Hugs....LS
You have a lot on your mind now. Maybe when things settle down you can make it all the way to the end. I would love to see you do that. I want you to be completely happy in all aspects of your life.
Big Hugs....LS
Hey girl,
You have bigger fish to fry right now! For the decision part, the back and forth that you are contemplating, I thought the same exact thing," Rest of me life, pain" I know a few things about you and that is you are a survivor and a very strong person w/ a determined mind as well. So you know where i stand on your decision!
I hear the bells!! Cheers
Choo
You have bigger fish to fry right now! For the decision part, the back and forth that you are contemplating, I thought the same exact thing," Rest of me life, pain" I know a few things about you and that is you are a survivor and a very strong person w/ a determined mind as well. So you know where i stand on your decision!
I hear the bells!! Cheers
Choo
thats the kicker for me... I am happy.. my life is good.. great even. So there is a part of my brain that keeps saying that I don't have to stop.. Telling me "Stephanie, you can stay at 3 pills a day" The only reason stopping even came up was because my hubby wanted me to, money spent on pills is out of control, and my sex drive is gone. So I came here. And I do want to stop.. I want to get my sex drive back. I want hubby to be proud of me. I want to spend my extra money on fun stuff like a new tv and maybe fix up our place. But at the same time the fear is making me lost my momentum.. its like the law of inertia.. whats in motion stays in motion, what is still stays still. I have been staying still a little too long I guess.
I can hear it, we never chat, but I can hear it in your words, u are not a dumper, no offence to any, But a giver, girl Don't sweat the small stuff, you will beat the BEAST! You will Do it either way and just know you are strong and will do IN YOUR OWN TIME!!!
I Believe, now U should too!!
Take a break from the BS, don't add it to your Alredy FULL PLATE!!!
No Sweat, Right!!
Love
Choo
I Believe, now U should too!!
Take a break from the BS, don't add it to your Alredy FULL PLATE!!!
No Sweat, Right!!
Love
Choo
I know I should just wait it out.. I guess I am just trying to make a decision so I can make the appt with the doc if thats what i am gonna do.. I even considered making a consult appt so I could talk it over with him..one of my fears about doing it is that it will be in my medical records. I am not even sure if that happens but its a fear. thanks for your continuous support..
My wedding, got clean 2 months prior, U its to close. I think, "Opionions like A-holes" stay w/ the taper don't waste your time about this BS untill after the wedding, then make decisions.
Cheers
Choo
Cheers
Choo
Also ia am sure that there is "A off the record" Way to do thigs, with the new HIPPA thing!
Choo]]
Lots of times i have told Doc, OFF THE RECORD" and it was, as i left w/ a copy of notes!
Got to be a way around!
Your rights
Choo]]
Lots of times i have told Doc, OFF THE RECORD" and it was, as i left w/ a copy of notes!
Got to be a way around!
Your rights
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