Hi.My heart and prayers go out to you. I was a nurse and a patient attacked me causing severe spinal injuries and 2 spinal fusion surgeries which have left me in unbearable pain. I am on Oxycontin and Oxycodone and panadeine forte. I have been left this way for 5 years and also saw a pain management specialist and cannot get back into see him. I don't know why! I am in constant immobilising pain and feel worthless as well. Its the drugs they do this. I didn't ask for it I was just helping a patient and he decided to hurt me. My ex husband also decided to leave and stay with his mistress around the same time and now lives a life of travel and love and happiness. My children are great but this isn't fair to them. I was a mum who was active and always able to be there and do for them and now I can't even go shopping for food. Please know you are NOT ALONE!!! I and others care about you. You didn't ask for this either and please beg your DR to refer you to a legit pain management clinic or specialist. They will best advise you and hopefully co care with your OBGYN . I will pray for you and wish you well!! You have something to hope for and it will help you through! You are a strong person I know this because you were a nurse too.

Although I said Im on oxycontin, etc for last2 yrs Ive also been on diconal, diazepam, dihydrocodeine, temazepam for 10 years, they also had me on fentanyl patches for a while too. So I know 2 years is a long time for what I'm on now...But I've been taking all these bloody poisons since I was 21!!

So I guess for those of you who know what its like to be on stuff long term I kinda understand.The only thing I can say is I will purposely stop things when I'm not in alot of pain to show the Drs that "I" am not addicted to the drugs, they are only taken to suppress pain. I know alot of you will read that and see it as a cop out but I'm really serious. I'm also serious about getting off all this stuff I'm on right now, its alot, and I do wanna do things other people do. I dont wanna live like this. I do want to have a baby, I Do wnat a LIFE!! But I need the pain to ease first!!! Oh **** this is a nightmare!!!
I guess I kinda found you guys and posted in the hope that if the pain does ease then maybe I'll have support from people who know what I'm going through instead of people who only pretend to understand.
Hope that makes sense.
Take care all
Tin Lizzie

Thanks so much for reading my post everyone, it really has meant alot. Especially to read that there are others on here who've had spinal surgery and on a **** load of drugs when you'd hoped you wouldn't be anymore!! I would love not to take anything at all I really would and sadly thought that by now I wouldn't be taking anything!! Well that was the plan after the last fusion. I was 2 years pos op last month and REALLY thought that I would not have to see another  DR who doesnt give a **** about me apart from think I'm either selling my meds or bloody injecting them. He's VERY lucky he didnt say that to me... I seriously would have lost it. My partner on the other hand is just TOO nice sometimes and just sadi "check her body, you'll not find anything!!"

About getting pregnant, seriously, there are loads of medical web sites saying for the first trimester oxycontins ok, but then you should go onto methadone!! I did scartch my head at that. I was a nurse so its not like I havent been witness to these horredous things. Maybe in a way I'm just looking for ANY kind of answer to my prayers. Im 34.. Running outta time and it breaks my heart. The only thing Im stuck with is constant pain and these bloody drugs!! My DR even had the cheek to phone me the other day and inform me of how much I'm taking is the equivalent to  "whatever" amount of heroin. I cant remember what he said. I am aware of what I take, and TRY to keep telling him that if you take away the pain... you take away the drugs. He just doesn't get it!! I know my body is addicted to the drugs.. obviously it has to be, but psychologically I'M not!! I dont take what I dont need for pain, its when I feel at my lowest, which happens often, that I think of taking the whole bloody lot and ending it. I feel as though I'm just taking up O2 someone else could be using. I've never felt so useless in my life and am so jealous watching people go to work in the mornings etc.. What the hell have I got??

Sorry I'll stop rambling. I'm sure you really dont wanna hear all this.

Take care all and stay strong
Tin Lizzie

Hello, and welcome to the forum.  Yes, there is alot of help and supportive people here.  I have used oxy's and percocets for about 3 years faithfully.  I could never quit for more than 3 days before I started coming here.  When I first came here, I quit for 12 days.  I'm still taking pain medication on and off but at least not every day.  I was up to 40 to 50 pills a day.  Now when I take them, which is maybe 2 or 3 every couple of days, they're not an actual necessity and number one thing in my life anymore.  One day I will be clean, and now I have that to look forward to coming true one day.  Before I started coming here I was hopeless.  I have a husband of 14 years and 3 children.  Sorry I'm not of any help but I did want to post and tell you that you can do this.  If I can be on the road to recovery, anyone can.  I'm here if you need me, off and on usually every other day or so.  You are in my prayers and thoughts... take care and god bless, Lil.  :)

do what ever you can and you will ind your sel again we lose ourselves on drugs time to say hello to yoursel this place keeps me honest basically we are all herion addicts it sounds better when we say prescription drugs doesn't it. we are junkies and we are lost.  Get help its out there its tough to do alone go to your irst na or aa meeting that relly opens your eyes you see yoursel in everyone. don't be scared to live again it beats the slow death o pills I know that all too well  .

Well, it sounds as if you have taken the first step, now the next step is for you to stop your Dr. before he/she exits the room on your next visit, it ALLWAYS aggrivates them,but you need to explain to the doc that you have questions that need answers, and they cant wait any longer,if your Dr. is like most,he usually sticks his head in the door long enough  to put a face with a name, then it's off to the next victim.. i nkow how it feels, somewhat, to be in your shoes.I've been on Oxycontin now for close to 8yrs. and have decided to work on getting off them, so i can have MY life back, for i too am tired of feeling useless, i also have been fused at l-5 @s-1 , the pain is horrindous, but the FOG is worse. wish you kuck, and if at all possible, i wish you a HEALTH, HAPPY baby

I have seen too many methadone babies!!!!  Being pregnant I know it is best not to go c/t but taper so if you are planning on getting pregnant, a dr will prescribe Vicodin but will want you off closer to delivery.  I know of several here who have done this. It is not easy...I know but you sound like you have the will to get off a lot of this stuff.  There are a lot of people here that will give you info and advice that has worked for them...I hope you can find what you need but meth is not a good substitute for a pregnant woman if at all possible.
Keep posting and asking ?? You are not alone, we all got caught up in this horrible situation without asking for it. We have to take responsibility  and do something about it! Good Luck and you will find your strength when you are ready!

methadone as its not harmful to the fetus?

"If it takes methadone to keep you off of drugs, and away from all the things that you'd do to get drugs, that might be the best choice. Babies born to women on methadone go through withdrawal after birth, just like babies born to women on heroin."

http://www.drspock.com/faq/0,1511,8649,00.html