there must be a "full moon" or something tonight. My night started out on "cloud nine" and then dove completely south!!!! withdrawals are soooo hard in itself, i know the last thing you need or can handle right now are the "emotional issues" life deals us.

BUT HANG IN THERE.....your already to day "3" and if you are w/d from anything besides methadone, tomorrow will be day "4" and thats when the w/d's start to change directions and you will begin feeling better and "normal"

DONT TAKE A PILL....you will only have to go thru those first horrific "3" days of HE11 all over again. try and take it easy tonight, take a Benedryl or some tylenol PM to help you sleep. TOMORROW WILL BE BETTER!!!!!

and remember you have to take "BABY STEPS" to get to where you want to be....

you'll be in my prayers tonight.....

luv ya,
tink  :)

I am so sorry that this is happening for you. Withdrawals are hard enough as it is. If you possible can, just try not to think about the gf and concentrate on you. I know easier said than done. But you've got to if your going to make it thru this. You are already half way there, just a few more days and you will be feeling so much better! By then your head will clear up and you will realize that you are way more important than a pill!

Just try to keep in mind that w/d on average peaks at 48-72 hours after the last dose so you should be right at the worst of it right now. Everything past this point should only get BETTER! So hang in there, try to sleep through it if you can, if you have any sleeping pills to help you sleep or chamomille tea seems to help most people relax. My body doesn't respond very well to herbs so chamomille makes me wired but that's very rare. You have been strong up until now, stay strong and tomorrow is a whole new day, get through tonight and, like I said, it should only get better from here.

P.S. If you can't sleep try listening to some of your favorite music or watching a good movie, this can help stimulate certain endorphins, especially music or movies that bring back good memories.

xoxo- D.

Thank you for your response. I just need someone to talk to cause sitting here by myself just sucks. Things keep running over and over in my head. I just want things to slow down so I can catch up. I'm trying so hard to gain control of my emotions back it is so hard right now. This really, really sucks. I hope you are doing alright? Sounds like you had a rough day too. Thanks again for everything. It means so much to me to have people like you in this world.

                                                  With lots of love,
                                                                       Lee

Thank you so much!!! Just sitting here typing to you guys is helping to keep my mind off things. I have some Lunesta for sleep but for some reason it does'nt really help much. Its hard to focus on anything for a long period of time right know. I think all my muscles in my body hurt at this moment. What about a hot shower? Do you think that might help any? I'll try anything right about now. Thank you so so much!!!

                                   Love ya,
                                             Lee

I'm here ANYTIME.... thats what this forum is all about caring and supporting eachother when we need it the most. Everyone here is a "second family" to me. i dont remember your story, do you mind telling what your w/d from??? is this your first time going c/t or have you done it before???

I'm doing okay for the most part, i like you, also have a bunch of emotional issues dumped on me tonight. but i'm trying to keep my spirits up despite the fact i just want to "fall apart" tomorrow is another day, right?

and i too have to remember to take "baby steps"

luv ya,
tink  :)

YES, a hot shower is probably what you need right now, when I was going thru the worst of it, I would stay in there for like an hour or so! And I will be here for you as long as you need me to be! Your sleep meds are probably not working right now because of the w/d's mine didn't during that time either. DutchessGolden had a great idea regarding music, I would, and still am, finding music that reminds me of "the good ol days" and turn it up real loud and just get lost in those great memories! Hang in there : )

You may not like this but I believe from what you have posted, that a large part of your problem is your girlfriend. By keeping you on the ropes and keeping you unsure of what is going on, she adds to your problem. You are trying your best to succeed and she is keeping you off balance. If you want to get back to resolving your withdrawal problems without any adverse effects, you have to let her go. You can't keep this up because you will be unable to concentrate and concentration on your freeing yourself of addiction is what you need. It will hurt for a few days but in the end it will be the right decision. You must do what you think is best for you, not her. Every moment that you spend worrying about what she is going to do next just increases your pain. You have reached day 3. If you want to reach 4, 5, 6, 7, and so on you have to make a decission as to what you want most her, or freedom from your main problem. That is something you have to give serious thought to.
This is just my opinion. What you do must be based on your own  decision not mine. I have just thrown something out here that you might want to think about.

I'm have been taking 40mg oxy, hydromorophone 4mg, and tramodol/acet 37.5 mg. The tramodol I've been taking for about 4 years. The other two about 5 months maybe more. Once I started on the oxy and the morph I slowed down with the tramodol. I would take up to about 8 or so pills of the tram a day. The oxy about twice plus 2 up to 4 times a day with the morph. I guess it really depended on what I was doing that day. Like when I was out of work for a couple of months I would take more. Espically the last few weeks before I got a new job I went a little crazy with those evil little things. Its been a long road to get to where i'm at now. And I have a long road ahead of me.

                                                Love ya,
                                                        Lee

Sorry forgot to add this. It is my first time trying to quit and i'm going c/t.

OH YES!!!! ANy type of steam you can get will be great for your muscles. Especially a spa or sauna, it releases the lactic acid from the muscles it should help tremendously. It will also help detoxify your body. If you have some motrin that should help relax the muscles or at least take the edge off of the aches. Have you taken ambien before or have you just had the lunesta? I haven't taken lunesta before, I've been taking ambien since I was 19 and it has been good for certain nights. I've heard about 50/50 on the lunesta, some people love it, some people it doesn't phase and won't help them sleep. Even some over the counter or herbal sleep aids might help have you tried any of those before? OTC sleeping pills give me horrible nightmares (one of the side effects of the sleeping aid they use in most OTC sleeping pills-enough irony there for ya? lol) But some of them work really well, I tried taking melatonin before and a few of those did really well for sleep. YOur body only produces melatonin during the dark phase, so it doesn't get produced when you're in the light. You should be able to get it at any drug store, I believe it is in the herbal section or with the GNC stuff. There are a lot of really supportive people here as you can see, they'll cheer you on through it all, I know how much it can help just to be able to talk to someone who understands what you're experiencing.

xoxo- D.

you should be EXTREMELY PROUD OF YOURSELF!!!!! those are are really hard pain meds to detox from and you are already on day 3!!!!!!

everyday after tomorrow will continue to get bettter and better for you...before long you will begin to feel like your "old self" again.....

one more question for you??? are you going c/t be choice or because you ran out of meds???

I know what you said is whats best for me. To be perfectly honest Its hard right at this moment to think about anything but those pills. But she is on my mind don't get me wrong about that. I long for success in my up hill battle. And I know that she just might be adding another hill to climb. Your right about it being a tough choice to make, but I think for the most part she has made that choice for me already. Maybe she has someone else maybe not. And I know deep down inside that I need to fcus 100% on my road to recovery. It just all seems to be moving way to fast for me right now. I want to thank you so very much!!! You guys on here are just the best!!! I would be lost with out any one right now.
                                    Love you all,
                                                    Lee

I have all three sitting in my house(which is dumb I know) but i can't seem to flush them. And I don't really have anyone to give them to. I made this choice to quit for several reasons. But what it al comes down to is that I want my life back. I want to be the great and very happy person I was before all of this mess. A little while ago I fired from a job I had for almost 9 years. Then I had problems with family members. Then I got a new job and was there for about 2 to 3 months and I walked out because I could'nt sleep because I would stay up all night and take some pills. So I had this reality check when I got a new job just two weeks ago. It is by far the best job I have ever had.

If you take a pill then you have two problems instead of one.  She'll still be doing what she's doing and you'll be on your way to starting over with the wd's.  Get clean, focus on you and either she'll come around or you'll move on with a new life.  Sounds like she is reacting so I doubt she is serious about this guy she's hanging with.  Hang in there!

I remember when I went cold turkey and I would lie there and listen to the clock tick. I would even literally count sheep. But in the end what really worked was listening to books on dvd. I would lie in bed listening to books and it was magic. The only bad part was I would never remember exactly where I drifted off so it would take me forever to get through a book!  That and all the batteries I used. But still cheaper then the pills.

Thanks for giving me a smile:) I have lots of books I coud read. Come to think of it I got one about a week or so ago I still have'nt started to read. I used to take the pills lay down and read a book. But that only did it for me for a little while. Thanks for the smile and the suggestion.

                          With love,
                                     Lee

i just sent you an email :)

I sent it. Thanks for the big smile that was great. Sorry it took so long. I'm just shaking real bad right now.

i'm happy to hear your SMILING :)

if your w/d's are really bad right now, try and take a hot bath or shower. it really helps and soothes your muscles.

i hope you start feeling better tomorrow...Please email me in the morning and let me know how your doing, k???

i'm exhausted i didnt even realise it's 2:30am!!!!!
so i'm off to bed now....

luv ya,
tink :)

good night.. Thank you so much!!!!!!

You sweet man if she was already hanging with this guy before she knew you had a problem then hey she was just waiting for an excuse....trust me man there are plenty women out there and the main thing you have to concentrate on is getting well then you can find a woman that wants you for you and you will be able to stand tall and say hey I am a good bloke with so much to offer.  She sounds like she would've gone one way or the other.  I know it's hard but she already had a foot out the door hun. I still stand by mine and it IS hard but I didn't have anyone else on the back burner...I would never have thought of that.  So as hard as it is pick yourself up, dust yourself down and move forward cause you CAN do it.  When my ex husband and I split up he said "You won't be able to live without me"  (he was a nasty man who abused me and our kids, emotinoally mostly) anyhow I told him I lived the first 25 years of my life without you so I can live the rest without you....turst me it's so true.  PLEASE don't take the shi* again cause you desever  more and although it hurts now you could walk past the most lovely looking girl in 6 months and you'd be clean and fall in love and make babies or something like that.  You need you most of all and then find someone to make you a couple.  If it isn't your girlfriend then hell it WILL be someone else but you need to be free of the Sh*t.  Sorry she ain't there but you can do it cause you are strong.
xxxooo