I'm glad you're making an attempt to understand your hubby. Do you have any idea what he's been taking and for how long?? That has a lot to do with the addiction. Then there is the choice to make about if he's going to taper or go c/t to w/d from the drugs.

Please post when you find these things out. We are here to help you and your husband. The most important thing at this point is not to blame yourself.

Take Care....LS

I'm sorry you have to deal with this....but you have to take care of you first, and of course your precious baby!  Find joy in her and your strength!  Your husband is the one who will have to make the decision to get himself clean and being an addict myself, I can tell you we are the best liars and manipulators. We hurt the people we love the most, not that we want to, but the addiction has such a deathgrip on us that it is hard to break free!  You have no fault in this but don't feel bad about not trusting him....he has not given you a reason to trust him.  My husband loves me very much but I think the regaining of his trust is still a long way away. I am 3+ mos clean from pills but he still checks our bank balance constantly and credit card activity.  I don't blame him at all for this.  Just be there to support him when he asks for help, but again, take care of yourself ABOVE ALL!

Peace,
Marcie

I dont know anything about drugs so forgive me if i get this wrong but he was snorting 200mg at least once a day for 2 years. Oxycotin was his main thing but he did anything he could get his hands on. I got him into drug counseling and we both go to NA classes every week. Suposed he has been clean for 2 weeks since his last "mess up". But not to sound horribl but i dont know if thats true or not. I wonder alot and look for signs but he is just such a good liar i cant tell. I love him with all my heart but its just so hard for me to understand how this could happen to us. I guess it just hurts alot.

Hi Kirsten:
I just had to respond to you. I am an addict. I take 90mg of hydro a day. I function fine but I know somewhere in my heart that this is killing me. I know I have to stop but until I decide to stop I know I will not have success. I have a wonderful husband who knows I take pills because he has been through a w/d with me before and he sees the money I am spending on pills. He does not judge me. He doesn't ask how many I am taking and I am glad he is not pushing me because I think that would make it worse. This has to be my decision and I have to do it for me or it won't work. Life is full of stresses and as an addict we turn to pills for that so if we w/d for someone else what happens if that someone is not there anymore or maybe just not around. It has to come from the inside. You can let your husband know that you are concerned and that you love him. You can tell him you will be there to support him in any way you can. This is what he needs. You can even tell him that this is wrong because I am sure he already knows that. My situation is a little different because I have been married for 22 years and my husband knows me better than I know myself and he trusts me to do the right thing for me and our family. I am starting a new taper in a little over a week and I know that my family will be there no matter how I act or what I do and that will make things easier. Good luck and God bless and I hope you and your husband make it for many many years to come.
Jackie

Thank you so much for the support. I know i cant push him to much. I know he has to want it. I guess my problem is we have only been married for 8 months and this is what we have to go through already? Sometimes i wonder if its worth it. I have a beautiful baby girl to take care of and think about too..Its so hard to know what to do, I love him so much. And i believe that love can conquer all...But still... Ugh i hate this and im sorry im rambling again.

If you feel at the time he answers a question, that he isn't telling the truth, odd's are he isn't. I can say that because 1 im about as addicted to pills as one can get. , my husband also was addicted to coke. So, if its only been a short time with that kind of drug, or oc's which are very potent and hes 'messed up'...you are in the right to question EVERYTHING...no addict likes to be cornered. Example, if my spouse asks me ..'did you cut down today'..and i say yes, but know i didnt..i'll answer him like so 'of course i did, what do i look like to you, an idiot..' if i actually DID cut down...its like so ' yes babe I did..arent you proud'..watch his face....can he look you in the eye? Your going to be dealing with this for awhile..especially if he hasnt totally given up his crutch. You stay strong, and above all else, you put YOU first..hes an adult and can take care of himself. :D..maybe i shouldnt be the one to be saying that as im not clean myself..and im not pointing all fingers at my spouse im worse then he was..just been there and am there..until hes completely done with the drugs..hes going to lie. And only he knows for sure..ya know?