Aa
Hello All - Sorry for disappearing
Hello folks. I apologize for disappearing - especially after the drama (accident) last week.
Some updated information - both my sister and I are physically fine. With the exception of the first two days, my neck pain is all but gone.
I have also thrown my script away - so I wont fall back into that trap - and trust me, I think I would right now.
Today should have been day 26 -- but I guess I'll count this as day 3. Friday/Saturday, I felt OK - but Sunday I started having some mild WD type symptoms - and I've had the runs ever since.
Saturday evening, I started feeling like I normally do around day 4ish. I went out with some friends to a movie, and I couldn't wait for it to end. I just wanted to go home. I tried going out with friends on Sunday - the same result. Monday, I got some excercise in during the AM, but was exhausted by noon and spent the whole afternoon watching TV.
Today, I went to work - and pretty much avoided as many people as I could. My physical stuff is mild - but I can't seem to shake this dysphoria. I'm not really depressed - I don't feel like I lost a loved one or anything, but I just can't seem to enjoy anything. I felt this way pretty bad for the first 2 weeks during my WDs, but had a few up moments. My 3rd week, I felt like I was getting better. I was able to be happy - but I didn't look forward to anything. However, this week I've stepped back a notch.
It's a mixed reaction feeling -- part of me wishes that the morphine at the hospital set me back to day 1 -- but part of me doesn't want to start the WDs over - expecially since it was beyond my control. However, I'm starting to fear that my WDs are causing some form of depression. I haven't read anything stating opiate use can cause permenant depression (I wasn't depressed before taking Vicodin), but I just don't understand why I can't get out of this funk.
Anyway - the lack of social abilities is what kept me away the past couple of days. I apologize for the negative post - I just wanted anyone that may have been wondering what happened, that I'm ok.
Have a good night all.
Some updated information - both my sister and I are physically fine. With the exception of the first two days, my neck pain is all but gone.
I have also thrown my script away - so I wont fall back into that trap - and trust me, I think I would right now.
Today should have been day 26 -- but I guess I'll count this as day 3. Friday/Saturday, I felt OK - but Sunday I started having some mild WD type symptoms - and I've had the runs ever since.
Saturday evening, I started feeling like I normally do around day 4ish. I went out with some friends to a movie, and I couldn't wait for it to end. I just wanted to go home. I tried going out with friends on Sunday - the same result. Monday, I got some excercise in during the AM, but was exhausted by noon and spent the whole afternoon watching TV.
Today, I went to work - and pretty much avoided as many people as I could. My physical stuff is mild - but I can't seem to shake this dysphoria. I'm not really depressed - I don't feel like I lost a loved one or anything, but I just can't seem to enjoy anything. I felt this way pretty bad for the first 2 weeks during my WDs, but had a few up moments. My 3rd week, I felt like I was getting better. I was able to be happy - but I didn't look forward to anything. However, this week I've stepped back a notch.
It's a mixed reaction feeling -- part of me wishes that the morphine at the hospital set me back to day 1 -- but part of me doesn't want to start the WDs over - expecially since it was beyond my control. However, I'm starting to fear that my WDs are causing some form of depression. I haven't read anything stating opiate use can cause permenant depression (I wasn't depressed before taking Vicodin), but I just don't understand why I can't get out of this funk.
Anyway - the lack of social abilities is what kept me away the past couple of days. I apologize for the negative post - I just wanted anyone that may have been wondering what happened, that I'm ok.
Have a good night all.
when i was going through w/ds i didnt know why i felt like i did. only until i was in intensive outpatient drug tx did i find out what this stuff does to your brain. then i understood the depression, the not sleeping, the lack of appetite. it has to do with the natural endorphins that your brain produces. these endorphins like seratonin, regulate mood, sleep, and appetite, and that feeling of well being. when we put opiates in our system, that causes a flood of endorphins that bathes your brain. when we become addicted, our brain stops producing this naturally because there is so much of it, it thinks it doesnt need to produce. when we stop the opiates, your seratonin is depleted and thats what causes us to feel like we do. until, with time, and alot of it, you start to become normal again. the brain starts to produce the good feelings naturally. another thing i learned in iop is that once we abuse opiates like we do, we never are the same again.
Yea - it is the last part I worry about. Do we get close to 'normal'? I understand I'll always need to worry about addiction, but I miss myself. If I'm to feel like this forever, I should have stayed addicted. I probably sound like I'm being overly dramatic, but I've always been a happy person, and I hate the way I'm feeling now.
I knew about the endorphins - I'm even trying to get mine some what back in order by trying to excercise daily. I'm just confused about what is 'normal' for them. I've done WDs were I was mentally better in less than a week - though I never went more than 2-3 in the past. Maybe I didn't last long enough before??
Also - I'm curious as to what your brain does when it starts producing endorphins on its own, then it gets external stimulation again. I can't imagine it says "Oh, look, more pain meds - I can be lazy again for another few weeks" - but I don't understand why such a backwards slide from one night in the ER.
I'll get through this I know -- I'm just upset with myself for never quiting during previous WDs. Heck, I'd have over a year under my belt if I was successful the first time.
I knew about the endorphins - I'm even trying to get mine some what back in order by trying to excercise daily. I'm just confused about what is 'normal' for them. I've done WDs were I was mentally better in less than a week - though I never went more than 2-3 in the past. Maybe I didn't last long enough before??
Also - I'm curious as to what your brain does when it starts producing endorphins on its own, then it gets external stimulation again. I can't imagine it says "Oh, look, more pain meds - I can be lazy again for another few weeks" - but I don't understand why such a backwards slide from one night in the ER.
I'll get through this I know -- I'm just upset with myself for never quiting during previous WDs. Heck, I'd have over a year under my belt if I was successful the first time.
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
Is treating glaucoma with marijuana all hype, or can hemp actually help?
If you think marijuana has no ill effects on your health, this article from Missouri Medicine may make you think again.
Julia Aharonov, DO, reveals the quickest way to beat drug withdrawal.
Tricks to help you quit for good.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
