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Been obsessing over vicodin today

Ever since I thought I might get some pain pills yesterday and didn't I can't stop thinking about it! I try to think of other things but my mind keeps going back to it. It's driving me crazy. I even thought about what it would be like to live in another country where pain pills are legal. I'm thinking of them the way I use to think about guys when I was younger. I need help. I can't live like this! How can I stop loving those little F---er's so much. Addiction has already killed my brother and other members of my family. NA does not work on me. It took other things to get me clean. And I'm not completely clean anyway. I take ativan, ambien and I drink only to get drunk. I don't drink that much though. If I had vicodin right now I'd take it in a second. Should I try AA again or is there some other way. Oh and Lookyhere I think I argued with you about the twelve steps in the past. I realize right now that was probably stupid. I feel doomed. :( Once again, thank you for letting me vent.
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Avatar universal
go to a inpatient drug rehab............
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I understand, i think cravings i am more afraid of then w/d's
CRAZY
thanks for the post
Helpful - 0
177036 tn?1192286635
Oh sure, 3 little 750's would do me right now and I just got a craving reading your story... I just don't want to go through the last 30 days I just went through.  It's like borrowing from Peter to pay Paul.  Here is a post that I had to go 8 days back for, hope you don mind.

If you are brand new or hovering this might help
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Getting off the dang pills is easy compared to what it takes to stay off them!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I'm not very "up" on dealing with this.  I had a boyfriend who helped me, and have realized that cravings are always going to be a huge part of my life, due to my addictive personality.  Have you ever thought about maybe going to a rehab counselor, or a psychiatrist?  I may totally be offering up the wrong advice, but I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone, and I'm sure many of us can relate to what you are going through.
Helpful - 0
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