Aa
My story
I am 44 years old, been addicted to opiates since my mid 20's. It started with migrane headaches and going to the doctor and getting vicodin. From that first moment I took that first pill and felt how good it felt, I might as well been addicted right then. After that it was more doctors to accuire more and more pills. Then oxycontin (the devils pill) as far as I'm concerned. Then a methadone clinic where I went up all the way to 90mg (stupid). Well I was there for the last 5 years until 3 weeks ago. I detoxed off methadone for 6 months, 1mg a day from 90 all the way to 15 and couldn't stand it no more. Stopped and went back up to 30mg. One reason was it was nearly Christmas and not the best time for detox. In Jan. I restarted my detox slower this time from 30mg, 1 every other day down to 20, then 1 every 3 days down to 10. Once at 10 I did 1mg every week until I reached 4mg which is where I quit going. My first week without methadone I took adderall XR (2 15mg per day) for the first week, then wd for a few days, then some hydros for a few days, wd some more, a few more hydros, and here we are. This is my 3rd day with nothing but vitamins and suppliments and there will be no more opiates going into my body (I hope).
Just thought I would let you guys know a little about my situation, as I have posted a few times but really said nothing about me. This forum has been a real help as I've been reading for awhile. Love all you guys. Everyone get well soon.
Just thought I would let you guys know a little about my situation, as I have posted a few times but really said nothing about me. This forum has been a real help as I've been reading for awhile. Love all you guys. Everyone get well soon.
road2recovery: thank you for your sweet reply to my post. In answer to your questions about what I was taking and for how long when I had the nephrectomy (which by the way was all for nothing, my husband's original disease had already infected his new kidney by the second week), but I was taking Methadone 10 mg twice a day and Oxycontin 40 mg twice a day at that time. I had been addicted to opiates probably for about 10 years at that point, but mostly on hydrocodone and not the more powerful drugs until the last year prior to surgery.
tztlady: so good of you to share your experience with the lap band with me. I am so nervous about doing this, but I just cannot seem to lose weight by any other method. I will probably also need the tummy tuck if I ever do get this weight off, and I will bet that's right about it being a painful surgery, anytime there is a lot of pulling, tugging, and tightening - you are going to be in moderate pain when you wake up. At least, surely I will never feel pain to the extent that I did with the nephrectomy, I know I could not survive that again.
Good luck to you both - thanks again for posting.
Love, Cindy
tztlady: so good of you to share your experience with the lap band with me. I am so nervous about doing this, but I just cannot seem to lose weight by any other method. I will probably also need the tummy tuck if I ever do get this weight off, and I will bet that's right about it being a painful surgery, anytime there is a lot of pulling, tugging, and tightening - you are going to be in moderate pain when you wake up. At least, surely I will never feel pain to the extent that I did with the nephrectomy, I know I could not survive that again.
Good luck to you both - thanks again for posting.
Love, Cindy
Thanks so much for sharing your story..if you don't mind me asking what were your w/d's like and when on vic how many a day??
again thanks for sharing.
gob bless and good luck to you my friend
again thanks for sharing.
gob bless and good luck to you my friend
before methadone I was taking 12-15 7.5 daily with oxycontin mixed in here and there. All my vicodin were doctor prescribed, all the oxy 20's and 40's were bought one the street through friends who knew people, if you know what I mean.
W/d's, to be perfectly honest, I maybe went through 2 days before I went to the meth clinic, so this right here is really my first time in 20 years getting to day 3. Now isn't that sick. I've always been able to find something. But if I CAN say one thing positive about going to the clinic for the last 5 years, is that I don't know any of those people anymore that I used to go get pills from. Also, I haven't been to any doctors for pills in that same time. In other words, I now have no connections, which is a good thing. Thanks again to everyone.
W/d's, to be perfectly honest, I maybe went through 2 days before I went to the meth clinic, so this right here is really my first time in 20 years getting to day 3. Now isn't that sick. I've always been able to find something. But if I CAN say one thing positive about going to the clinic for the last 5 years, is that I don't know any of those people anymore that I used to go get pills from. Also, I haven't been to any doctors for pills in that same time. In other words, I now have no connections, which is a good thing. Thanks again to everyone.
something else that is so scary is that we who abuse them, get no releif when there is serious pain..i can't imagine something really bad happening with pain and nothing they give helps us..
i ahve a friend about 9 yrs ago , i never thought of this until now..he was addicted to lortabs for a few yrs, and he feel off of the roof of a house fixing it..he broke his back..He was in so much pain and nothing they gave made it go away..i kept thinking why don't they just give him more..i am sure they were giving him all they could without killing him..but i remember hm saying in the hospital that he wish he would just die it hurt so much...NOW i understand..just a yr back i had a tooth ach so bad nothing he gave worked..From oxy, to perc to demeral and even tylox...then he pulled it..I never thought that was why until just recently reading everyones wonderfull post..SO my question:: When we get off,, for good if somehting happens will we ever get releif??? very scary thought..
god i hate what i have become..
god bless everyone here struggling
i ahve a friend about 9 yrs ago , i never thought of this until now..he was addicted to lortabs for a few yrs, and he feel off of the roof of a house fixing it..he broke his back..He was in so much pain and nothing they gave made it go away..i kept thinking why don't they just give him more..i am sure they were giving him all they could without killing him..but i remember hm saying in the hospital that he wish he would just die it hurt so much...NOW i understand..just a yr back i had a tooth ach so bad nothing he gave worked..From oxy, to perc to demeral and even tylox...then he pulled it..I never thought that was why until just recently reading everyones wonderfull post..SO my question:: When we get off,, for good if somehting happens will we ever get releif??? very scary thought..
god i hate what i have become..
god bless everyone here struggling
I agree 100%. I hate what I have become too, I hate what I have done to my kids, I hate what I have done to my wife, I hate what I have done to me life.
What I keep trying to keep in mind is that life is not over, and things done in the past can be fixed, but only if I stop this life and start a new one without drugs. And we CAN do it, with each others help.
Talking about it really does help. Thanks again everyone for listening.
What I keep trying to keep in mind is that life is not over, and things done in the past can be fixed, but only if I stop this life and start a new one without drugs. And we CAN do it, with each others help.
Talking about it really does help. Thanks again everyone for listening.
I kept looking for the perfect drug and figured I had found it in the vics. 30 days later I still feel at times I wading through water. I did find some amino supplements that seem to help.
I hope the best for you and it does help to write.
You are right about the devil's pill.
best
jim
I hope the best for you and it does help to write.
You are right about the devil's pill.
best
jim
Hey, yu were talking about being afraid of nothing working if you were ever in severe pain. I donated a kidney to my husband 7 years ago which just in itself is a VERY PAINFUL OPERATION. Well, I went through absolute hell for the next three days, nothing they gave me would even dull the pain. I moaned, groaned, screamed for relief. I am sure everyone who did not know my problem thought I was the biggest tit they had ever seen. I did have great pain management doctors though who tried their hardest to get me just a little relief. They finally had to give me 5 times the normal amount of Dilaudid IV just to take the edge of the pain. It is something I will never forget. It was just like waking up from major surgery with absolutely nothing for pain. I am not wanting to have the lap band surgery but not even consider it without making sure the doctors have no problem with giving me whatever it takes to ease my postsurgical pain. Anyway, your post just reminded me of those three days in my life and thought I would share!
Love, Cindy
Love, Cindy
OH my just reading that made me hurt..If you don't mind me asking how many were you taking before then and for how long..Were you addicted before you gave the kidney??POOR YOU--i need to read stories like this to make me stop this madness...DAMN who have i become
also i wanted to tell you how amazed i am of kindness to do that for you husband..I know i would too, but i just forgot to mention that ..
How loving of you to do that for your hubby! I had the lapband surgery 20 months ago and am having a tummy tuck in July. I am worried that they won't be able to give me anything for the pain. Today is my one week off vicodin though. I hope that I can get some releif because I have heard the tummy tuck recoery is very painful.
Hello there! Sounds like quite a story, but sounds like you are coming out of it all. I wish you all the strength in the world to keep doing what you're doing. Everyone here is definitely helpful, and it's good to see another peson benefiting from this forum, just like I do. Thank you for sharing your past. It helps to get so many different aspects of addiction from people, it really makes you think.
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