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214607 tn?1287677559

grievingwidow..You don't know me, but please read

I was interested in reading your posts after I saw what your screen name was. I, myself, am a grieving widow. I lost my husband in July of last year, to an oxy contin overdose.

We were married merely 8 months. It was horrible and I have still not come to terms with it. He and myself were both addicted to oxy's for two years. He passed and I tried to get clean, but failed miserably. In any event, I continued to abuse oxy's and did nothing but increase my tolerence to the tune of 1000mgs of oxy's daily. I managed to spend every dollar I had on them. I have an 7 year old little girl and she is my world. The things I have done and have found myself capable of, are beyond me.

Anyway, I have not told anyone of my addiction. I have no family as my parents died when I was little, and no other family to speak of. My in-laws no nothing of my addiction and they did not know my husband was an addict until he passed, but they still did not know the extent as my husband always had some sort of addiction  be it cocaine, opiates, marijuana, alcohol...Anyway, I had no one to talk to until I found this forum. And everyone here has been nothing but super nice. Support is greatly needed in recovery, that is something I have discovered. Anyway, I thought maybe you could provide a little insight on the grieving and recovery together. I am not 18 days clean and getting better by the day. Any advice would be greatly apprecited. Thank you....

Lisa
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Avatar universal
I emphathize with you lady! I just lost my fiance of 5 years to oxycodone overdose. I woke up beside him dead. Its been 2 months to date. Im so lost. Does it ever stop hurting? Even worse IM STILL USING OXY! I have never felt so guilty in my entire life. but the physcial and mental pain is too much to bare otherwise. I have never loved anyone like him and will never love anyone the way i loved him again. -hope to stop hurting someday
Helpful - 0
214607 tn?1287677559
I am so sorry I am getting back to you so late. I am only on here M_F. Anway, the Naltrexone does work significantly. I am now 21 days clean an sleeping fine, no RLS or any other w/d symptom. The Naltrexone method was more expensive, but it worked. I have energy and everything. If u need anything or have any questions, let me know. I am more then happy to help.

Lisa
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Avatar universal
Hi Lisa, I don't really like giving out my email address since it basically has my entire name in it and not crazy about someone from my area possibly recognizing me, but I would love to talk to you and will take a chance.  Us widows have to stick together, especially us "addicted widows", huh?  So, please email me at ***@**** when you get a chance and we can speak more freely about our widow life since this is really an addiction forum.  I will post to you above also in case you don't read this since it is getting late, I do not get on here until the evening while I am supposed to be working!

Love, Cindy
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Avatar universal
Oh I apologize for addressing the wrong person. Anyways, so you did the rapid detox? How'd that go? Did it work well? I'm just curious as to how it works. Have you heard of Subutex? That's what I am on now, I started out on Suboxone but it gave me headaches and made me swell real bad in my hands and feet so I switched but they're both pretty much the same thing it's just that the Subutex doesn't have the nalexone in it. I want to try to get off of it but I seem to have significant withdrawls when I cut down so I was wondering if you might know of an easier way. You may not just thought I'd ask. Hope to hear back from ya. Take care and have a good weekend!
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214607 tn?1287677559
I apprecite you reading my post. Thank you for the advice. But, I am not "GrievingWidow" she is another person that logs on and I thought I could ask her a few questions about the greiving process while trying to recover..

Anyway, I am 18 days clean and did the burenorphine/Naltrexone Rapid Detox. I did the Suboxone method a while back and found that it did not work for me. But I thank you very much.

Just trying to move on with my life in a positive way....Thank you so very much for the advice. I really appreciate it...

Lisa
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I saw your post and was for some reason deeply touched. I just wanted to say how very sorry I am for your loss. I know it has to be hard to grieve and at the same time try to get clean and sober. I too had a tragic loss thru which I tried to stay clean but to no avail. I was wondering if you've ever heard of Suboxone. It is a maintenance drug similar to methadone but no where near as addictive. It blocks opiates so you cannot abuse them. It is a mild opiate itself but does not produce a high the way methadone does. It can be abused but it'd just be a waste of your time b/c you really don't get high. I have been on it for almost a year and I can truly say that it gave me back some sense of stability and peace. Not just any doctor can write it though, you have to find a doc who has the license required to prescribe it. You can locate a doctor by going to
www.suboxone.com and putting in your zip code to find the one nearest you. It is an expensive drug so it def helps to have insurance as I have Medicaid. I sure hope you'll check it out and research it to see if it'd be of any benefit to you. I will for sure keep you in my thoughts and prayers and hope that you find peace and happiness in the near future. Take care and be blessed!  ~Danica~
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