Speaking my mind.....Tim and Lizzie Please Read

Question

Ok....I read all the arguments and comments. I have to say I am on my 9th day of recovery and can not belive the drama that went on. If people are on here with different scree names than I implore you STOP...People on here have real problems and need not to deal with that stuff. Tim, my heart goes out to you. I realize you said some tough words but you know what i think it was more the alchol and the feeling of being duped - that combined could trigger anything. Everyone on here seems to be defending Lizzie. What about Tim? Tim has given me tremendous support and encouragement from day one. He provided me with such insight as to my addiction and I have to thank him for that. Yes!! He made some harsh statements but did anyone really care asto why? He had been drinking and HE KEPT saying that he was in a bad place but everyone continued with the bashing. The funny thing is that after his first negative comment - i relaized how tough this was for him. Do you know how many times I went off on someone for something because i was moody because of w/d? I did it a lot and Lizzie thats why I am suprised at your continued insistance of goating Tim. Lizzie you should know that Tim was in a bad place and that your continued comments and snide remarks were not helping him. It is plain and simple; an addict vs. a non-addict. I am not bashing Lizzie for what she did I just hope she understands that addicts go thru this and that if you are on this board and you ARE NOT AN ADDICT you should take head and take a step back and realize that maybe this is not the place for you. Tim hang in there my friend and Lizzie just realize, I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST YOU, that addicts are sensitive and emotional in the way they feel. I am not defending anyone's actions I am just trying to make sense of this situation. 

Kind regards and I wish you all success
My thoughts and prayers are with everyone 
BIG HUG

ALEX

Alex29 · Answer

I am a very agreeable person. I KNOW we ALL can get past this. Thanks for all your input and encouragement. I know Day 9 WOOOOOOHOOOOO.......

Tim2H · Answer

I meant to say Congratulations on day 9. Way to go my friend!!!

Tim2H · Answer

I really appreciate your kind words and understanding. I was very rude yesterday and having a rough time. This is my first real attempt to quit the pills and I thought it was going well. I made a big mistake to think that drinking would help relieve my craving. It really bothered me to be accused of using different names. This won't happen again and I do apologize to those I offended. I am far from perfect, but reading some of what I wrote yesterday, made me sick.

I hope you are still fighting the fight Alex and you really made me feel better. I am so happy that I was able to help you and will continue doings.

Thanks man, from the bottom of my heart.
Tim

tnbrowneyes · Answer

not a problem..this sh*t is tough no doubt. part of forgiving yourself for what you have done is to learn to forgive others. i wasnt hurt just concerned. 
glad your back to normal and hangin in there. 
your never alone..i know we dont replace your family but we can be a great sub for loneliness. call on me anytime ok

tztlady · Answer

We aren't on an "emotinal health utopia" here.   Coping and hurting comes in many forms.    It was obvious Tim was in a bad space and even though the things said were harsh, I still just wanted to reach out and give him a hug.  Even if they would have been directed to me, cuz I have seen Tims real heart.  Knowing that alcohol was involved totally explains it.   I tried drinking to relieve symptoms last Dec. and I got so drunk that I told family members "'exactly what I thought" and when I think of what I said it still turns my stomach.  I am 46 and actually made my 44 yr old brother cry.  My family isn't perfect but the next day I woke up to 3 text messages from those I offended (plus one from some guy named "Marty"??) saying that they knew I was just drunk and to not worry about it.  It was bad.  I even threw a punch at my brother (as much as I hate to admit it).   

So I learned I can't do that and it hasn't happened since.   

It's all good.

Tim2H · Answer

Your story made me laugh. I usually have a couple of beers on the weekend and when I was taking pills I didn't like the way it made me feel. My family went to the Cape and I was alone. I started out with a few beers and then thought the tequila looked pretty good on the bar. I have no clue how many I tossed back. I was so sick last night and this morning. LOL, I learned my lesson. I think I am allergic to hard liquor or I just drank too much. Thanks for understanding and for your post.

Alex29 · Answer

Yea I agree and hope so. I was not saying that Lizzie should go away; I am just asking her to understand that if she is on this board providing wonderful advice to many to realize that because she is not an addict to better understand where Tim is coming from - he is an addict. I was suprised that the continued bashing went on and on. I guess i would have handled it differently. I just would not have responded to ANYTHING THAT WAS TYPED. But thats me!! Like when I told my sister everything the first thing she said, " I understand let me know what I can do."  Understanding and support is what we need.

fishmeal · Answer

I dunno, I guess I could go back and do the research bout who did what but I just donfelllikeit.  I think I'll just try to answer positively to all who need help.  We had a wonderful member that has stopped coming, or at least writing, Named DutchessGolden.  Her academic prowess in the neurological field was unmatched in any forum that I've been to.  Some phycho started to chide her about little things and actually acquired different log-in names to "gang" up on her... it was easy to see later, but during~~~~ it was a creepy mess.  You could go back, running the search engine at the top here and see some of her posts and see the wackos remarks..... they were way out of line.  Me I just don't have the time.

My wife told me she was going to leave me if I stayed on this forum too long, (kidding) and I told her if you leave me I'm coming with you, heehee

fishmeal · Answer

ah gee, I actually did the search engine thing and it made me sick... guess i'm still sick... time to move forward.  Dutchess, I hope you do come back to answer questions~~~ Many of us miss your comments.

tnbrowneyes · Answer

congrats on day 9..im right there with ya and dont it feel so good now?
since this i have changed my diet some to more fruits and now taking vitimans when i never did before. I agree you both have helped me on here(you n tim)
yes i think i made tim mad but i wasnt poking fun just trying to get a laugh from him. i later posted in an outreach to him. i do think we all need each other to get thru this as a group. the stress from the drama can cause ppl to lapse if thier main source of support collapses..yes i think tim was in a bad state of mind as we all have been during at one time or another. 
eveyone on here that has replied to me has helped me. (except the anal person that tried to tell how i SHOULD feel on day because they felt that wa) but thats water under the bridge. 
just wanted to let you guys know along with those reading this. as i heal i want to continue to help as those before have helped me and many others. 
xoxo...let all kick this as a group
um not to be too army wife-ish but..
united as one we can defeat any obsticle we may face. standing alone the obsticle has the upper hand and no battle should be fought alone. 
amen

Tim2H · Answer

I were never be mad at you and I am sorry if I hurt you. Thanks for the post. You have so much to offer this forum. I will be offering "never drink to take the edge off of cravings" because it does just the opposite. It made my cravings stronger and stronger with every drink. My family has gone down to our place on the Cape and I was alone here. I was missing them and missing the pills too!!!  Hang in there and thanks for understanding.

Your friend,
Tim

beachtowel · Answer

I really liked your post, your words were well spoken.........
The only thing I disagree with is this is an open forum for people to use.......
Anyone can be here if there getting something positive out of it thats great...


Every once in a while there is some drama here you have people hammered from drinking and doing drugs...
You have people trying to stop with no plan..........
There are people here very sick.........

Addicts have very thin skin and are easily offended........
They also have a very hard time with honesty.......

There is drama everyday in this world it is how you act after that will show
your true character........

ohsnap · Answer

I hope things between Lizzie and Tim can be cleared up, and Tim acting the way he did was just a fluke...

But...Lizzie has been a HUGE help to many people on this board.  This is not taking away from the help Tim has given you, and others, on this board.  But, Lizzie may not be an addict, but she definitely knows the many faces of addiction.  I have been on and around this board quite a while, and she has always been a vocal member of this forum, with good, heartfelt advice.  I just don't want her thinking that maybe this isn't the place for her, because she is definitely needed here, whether she needs support, is telling a joke, or updating us on her boys' lives.  We are all just trying to get each other through life's trying times.

Speaking my mind.....Tim and Lizzie Please Read

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