Just wanted to make absolutely clear that I still consider you a successs story - you have made it almost four months and that takes so much determination and stamina - and I can see the temptation with back issues and a doc giving you yet another script.

AND you have already stopped again - don't be too disappointed in yourself - we all know (also from reading this forum for the past months) that relapse is common, and the thing is to get right back on track.

I am not entirely free of the pills myself, even if I am in control (for the time being), it has been so much harder on my body to stop than I thought - after four weeks without any pills at all I am now sort of tapering with two tramadols a couple of times a week, which has helped with the ongoing flulike symptoms,, so as you can see, I am not quite there yet either. And as you say, the stopping is just one little part of it, staying clean is the hard part.

Will you joint NA/AA this time? I have felt like you - not ready to join these groups - and I am still not ready to do it, even if it would probably be beneficial, but I still don't want to share my addiction with anyone (I am certainly not in denial, but too ashamed to share)(I did end up telling my husband though).

I hope the w/d won't be too bad this time, and that you will soon be back to where you were. You have done it before, you can do it again. Stay strong and take care.
Minnie