JUST SAY NO!  I cannot emphasize this strongly enough!!!!! First of all, they are for your wife....second, the guilt you will feel will far outweigh the VERY temporary high!  I just relapsed after 4 mos of clean time. Get back to outpt treatment as quickly as you can!  We need to remember, getting clean is just one battle, staying clean is the real war!  Please stay strong  and away from the hydros!!!!!!!!!! You can do this!
Peace, Marcie

I feel for you cause now you have that temptation of having those freakin pills there. DO NOT let them win. You will feel so much worse, I promise you this. Take one day at a time and keep telling yourself that you are better and bigger than those damm pills are. Mind over matter, i know it is hard, but from me, to you, i have made it to day 10 quitting cold turkey after taking up to 9 percocets a day for over 4 years now, went through hell, and still find myself craving them sooooo damm bad. But like you i have a husband and 3 kids and i want to live for them now, i have come this far to turn back. You have come far yourself, Please Please do not i repeat do not give in... You sound like a wonderful husband and father, and by coming here you have taken the first step. If it weren't for this site i know i would have givin in. God it is hard.... But just tell yourself how many days you have come so far, it will get a lil easier day by day....I swear to you on that. Stay strong, for you and family... You will NOT regret this....


All the best to you

Hopeless

Thank you Marce4-  like I had said, I feel strong, but it just seems like my Higher Power is testing me.  I MUST pass the test.  I WILL pass the test!!!!!

Keep thinking that thought and you WILL pass the test!

Please give the pills to your wife and tell her the reason why. She knows about your addiction and would be so proud of you. I know how tempting this has to be for you and I wish you the best. Don't give up the strides you have already made. It really just isn't worth it and you know it would start you down the path again. Good luck and congrats on your recovery so far. Your children and wife need you 100% right now and I know you will do the right thing.

Tim

Thanks Tim,  when she realized what she had been given, she broke down in tears and begged me to forgive her.  I guess he wrote Lorocet and she had no idea that it was the same thing (why would she???)  I told her not to worry.  I am strong.  She has always been my rock.  Now it's my turn to return the favor.  I would be lying to you if I didn't say my insides around turning upside down.  Just took some Maalox and hoping it might help a bit.  This forum helps me just knowing that others know how I am feeling.  Thank you to all for the support.....God's peace.

Dad of 8 gee and I thought I had everybody beat with 7 heehee.  Got your hands full to say the least.  Have you read about suboxone at all or are you on any meds right now????? Because you can and are a great candidate for suboxone.  It's amazing!  It is still a narcotic but works in a half measure kind of sense...    During suboxone you feel good if not great and you can't do the hydros cause it plugs up the receptors for the hydros... so you can't get the euphoria feeling... but suboxone is euphoria compared to WD's off of hydros and cravings.  It defeats the cravings absolutely.. at least for me it did.

You are strong and will get through this. I can't imagine how hard it is for you right now and I am praying for you. It sounds like you have an amazing wife and family. Keep busy with them and hopefully it will take your mind off it.

God Bless,
Tim

I know the feeling but you will past this test!  My husband takes them on a regular basis - he has to or he would not be able to move.  He is one of the ones that actually has a legit life-long problem.  He is the one I was "stealing" from for 10 years.  Bless his heart he trusted me and at times could not figure out why they went so fast.  He is unusual and that he might have a good day and cut way back and feels fine.  He doesn't just take them to take them.  I don't know how he does it.  Anyway, my stepson was just prescribed 20 vic's yesterday - for a dislocated shoulder from playing baseball.  So I have these drugs all around me.  OF COURSE I have thought about it but I can't do that to them or myself anymore.  I love my family dearly - the deserve more.  Plus at day 14 I am feeling pretty great.  I cannot imagine going through withdrawals again.  My mind is so set - I am absessed to stay clean and sober.  Life is coming back to me now.  It is an amazing feeling.  Please hang in there!  Someone is always here...if you feel weak or just need to "let it all out" - lay it on us.  We understand!

All my prayers,

Shelby

I just put a call in to my doctor to get more info on suboxone.  Not sure what he will decide, but I guess it is worth a try.  I almost went the Methadone route, but then was scared off by too many people saying how they then became addicted to that.  Scary stuff these pills are.................

My suggestion would be that since you can't finish the rehab that you start going to as many meetings as possible, as soon as possible. Seriously, if I were in your shoes I'd be hitting meetings (I go to AA) morning, noon and night.  

I just passed the two year mark last Thursday and I feel well established in my Recovery.  Nonetheless, in the last 7 days I've been to 7 meetings.  I will tell you that I don't NEED that many meetings to stay clean and sober.  However, as a husband and father of four who somehow still has his family after almost losing them and my life, I really don't want to get to the point where I ever NEED a meeting to stay clean.  I want my road to be wide and I aim to walk in the middle of it.

You are in a very dangerous period.  I think you know that by your reaction to your wife's hydo.  Get to a meeting and get yourself a temporary sponser ASAP.  You can get a meeting schedule online at www.aa.org

There are some books that will help you too:

Staying Sober, by Gorski & Miller
   (pay very close attention to the chapter on PAWS - it's what is most likely to take you "back out" in the near future.  Actually, here's a link to that - http://www.tlctx.com/ar_pages/paw_part1.htm)

Staying Clean & Sober, by Miller & Miller

End Your Addiction Now, by Charles Gant
(very good and concise info on what you need to do to correct your damaged brain chemistry)

Seven Week to Sobriety, by Joan Larsen

The Mood Cure, by Julia Ross

  As odd as it may sound, this is not the time for you to be "strong."  Rather, this is the time for you to "let go absolutely."  You will not beat this addiction by being strong - addiction doesn't care how strong you are, it's stronger - addiction feeds on strength, grows on will power.  

This is the time for you to be weak, to say "I give up - I can't do this - I'm not strong enough."  You must have the help of a Higher Power.  For some folks that God, for other it's the combined power and caring of their AA group - whatever.  That's the only thing that worked for me - giving up and begging for help from a God that I pretty much did not believe in.

There's a passage in the Bible that speaks to the nature of this addiction problem and the manner in which personl strength doesn't provide the answer.  In 2nd Corinthians, v. 12:9, God says "my grace will be sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

I'm actually not a "Bible thumper," but that book is just full of good descriptions of addiction and sound advice for Recovery.  Here's my favorite - it was written between 2 and 3 thousand years ago, but it perfectly describes my situation:
==========================
Some became fools through their rebellious ways
and suffered affliction because of their iniquities.

They loathed all food
and drew near the gates of death.

Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
and he saved them from their distress.

He sent forth his word and healed them;
he rescued them from the grave.
===========================
Psalm 107:17-20 (NIV)

You are always a wealth of knowledge....good to hear from you. As you may be able to tell, I obviously did not get to an AA/NA meeting nor did I take your very sound advice and read Staying Sober by Gorski & Miller...esp, the chapter on PAWS!  I have to poke fun at myself because I had all the tools at my disposal, but I didn't use them.  I guess that verse in Psalms fits me to a tee! and I couldn't feel more humimliated! I give up....I am not strong enough to beat this on willpower alone! I am going to lose my family if I don't beat this and I can't bear this! They are my life but I keep choosing pills over them, how can we say we can beat this with willpower when we keep making those insane choices and the pills ultimately win! Just something I keep thinking about!