Hi there and congratulations on the new direction you and your family are headed in.  Recovery is a process.  A Process.  Entering rehab is a great start, a wonderful beginning.   Your hubby seems to have the desire to stop using.   Is the rehab facility 12-step oreinted?  I hope so because they will teach him to find a power greater than himself to build a relationship with.  

Noone loves harder or deeper than we addicts.  This is why it is so spiritually, emotionally, and mentally torturing when we choose a drug over our loved ones.      What else could be powerful enough to rip a baby from a mothers' arms, a husband from the embrace of his wife and the look of innocence in the eyes of his children?  This is why addicts need more than the love of a family, addiction overpowers it in many cases.   We need the help of a power greater than ourselves.  Whatever that may be.   The power of the universe, God, Goddesses, the "thing" that makes other addicts stay clean...........whatever, it (this "power") must be stronger than ourselves, loving, and have our best interest at heart.

When I got off street drugs many years ago I was given this advice and, frustrated, I said to my counselor "don't tell me you are going to throw a bible at me" and he said "Ya know what?  I don't care if you think the frickin' lamp shade is stronger than you, loving, and has your best interest at heart, it isn't on drugs, is it?  Make IT your higher power".    His point being I needed to believe in something.

There is a way to recover.  There is a solution.  Your husband had taken the first step toward it.  

I agree with previous posts regarding reading books about addiction but most importantly (or of equal importance) go to Naranon meetings or read books related to how to cope with a loved one who is addicted.

One thing I have seen with families is that once the addict is out of rehab the expectations are that things will return to normal.  It just isn't that way.  It takes awhile and your hubby may spend lots of time away from his family to attend meetings.

Again it is a process and I am here for you if you or your hubby ever want to post.  We all are here for you.  

Blessings to you and yours
TZT

That is wonderful!!  Rehab changed my life -- it didn't just give me back the life I had before addiction, it gave me a life that is better than anything I ever had before.

I will tell you that that change didn't happen until the 2nd rehab.  At the first, my primary concern was with getting out of trouble, sweeping the mess under the carpet, spinning the whole thing in the most positive way, etc.  That didn't work.

What did work was getting completely Honest, Open and Willing -- that's HOW we get and stay clean and sober.

I would suggest that while your husband's in rehab that you read everything you can about addiction and recovery.  Two good books to start with:  Staying Sober, by Gorski & Miller; and Staying Clean and Sober, by Miller & Miller.

My wife has been my best asset and allie in Recovery.  She loves me, but she HATES the addiction.  She views the addiction as our common enemy and she will give it no quarter - none.  I have needed that.

One of the most helpful things she has done is to subject me to random urine screens.  Those started in October of '05 and the continue to this day.  I had ZERO choice in the matter - as recommended by the Director of my rehab, it was a condition of my being allowed back into the home.  

Initially I decided that the screens were a good thing because that would reduce her (legitimate) worry that I might be using - the screens would prove that I wasn't.  I was quite suprised, however, to find that the main benefit of the screens was for ME - they provided a short-circuit for that reoccurring notion (common to most addicts) that some strictly limited use would be OK and possible.

No addict in Recovery simply decides to throw it all away and return to full blown active addiction.  That would be crazy and it's not an attractive idea.  Unfortunately, that's not the idea that's presented - what's presented to the addict's mind is the idea that it will "JUST BE A LITTLE BIT," and that it will "JUST BE THIS ONE TIME," and that "NOBODY WILL KNOW."

Of course, those ideas always backfire.

With the screens, and a firm one-strike rule, I didn't have to contend with those false notions.  I knew to a certainty that ANY use would be discovered and that I would be throwing away everything I cared about.

I don't know if I would have made it without the screens.  I didn't actually need them most of the time, but there have been more than a few times over the past 21 months when those screens were the only thing that stood between me and using (just a little, and only that once).

At first the screens were given very frequently.  For at least the first six months I never went longer than 72 hours w/o a screen.  Now, they are less frequent, but I just never know.  I might go weeks until one morning when she says "pee in a cup" only to test me again when I get home that evening.  

There was a brief period when I started thinking "well, you don't have much of a Recovery if you have to rely on the crutch of screens to keep you clean -- what does that prove?"  I pretty quickly identified that as the Voice of Addiction speaking (lying) to me.  That made as much sense as saying "your Recovery's no good if you have to go to meetings" or "your Recovery's a sham if you're forced to worry about things like diet and exercise."  Imagine a solider thinking he wasn't really braving the battle if he stooped to wearing a helmet . . .

Recovery is not about proving how tough you are, nor is it about showing that you can flirt with and then avoid disaster.  Recovery is about staying safe and alive despite a relentlessly progressive, fatal disease that will take or destroy your life if it remains active.  

you made the best discion for your situtation and one i think will be very productive. it seems your doing the best thing for him. im happy for you..getting this done and knowing you want live like anymore..that has to be a huge relief. i wish you, him and your family the very best.

Oh sweetie, good for you. I am so happy to hear that he is getting help and wanted to get the help. That is the first step in recovery, after admitting the problem..Believe me, if I could go back and put my husband in a rehabilitation facility, I would have. As well as myself. Instead, I waited to long and he passed away due to Oxy Contin. So very sad, but so very true...

You are blessed and you and your family have a brand new start. Good luck and keep us posted on his recovery...

Lisa

I was so relieved to read your post and know that your husband is safe. He will come out of this a much better man. Hang tight and post on the board. There are some nice people that will answer your questions and get you through this. Tzt lady is a knowledge of information regarding recovery and has a soft kind touch. I would get to know her and you can trust her knowledge.

God Bless,
Tim

Oh I am so happy for you and your family!  This is just wonderful news!

I know it is hard to have him away but one thing you might want to look into while he is gone are Alanon (sp?) meetings.  For the families of addicts.  Might help you emotionally and help you to better understand your hubby's addiction.

All my best!

Shelby

Nice posts all.........this is what this forum is all about.... I do have a question though... did he detox from the pills before he went in?  If not and he's anything like me he's might AMA like I did the first time around, (leave against medical advice).  I was literally climbing the walls.

06-14-2007 he told me that he hadn't had a pill since 06-08-2007 that's what he told me but, when I told him that he had to be honest with the Dr. when we went back he told the Dr. that he had taken 10 Monday 6.11.2007 and hadn't had anything since now it may have been a lie and I wouldn't put that past him because addiction makes you a lier. I do love him and I do love all of ya'll I wish you all the best of luck, a happy life and a life full of recovery. I WANT YOU ALL TO HANG IN THERE YOU ARE ALL STRONG!!!!!!!!!!! Have a great weekend and GOD bless you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

if its a good rehab place and he is serious, your life will be much better from now on :)

thanks 4 da hug...........