today on day 13 as fathers day is coming up..
in 2002 right before christmas my dad died from drug related causes. he had sorrocis for many yrs along with hep c. every yr i said ..dad wont make another one. for yrs i watched him battle addicted and the pains that went with it. he filed for disabilty to get money to see dr's but was denied everytime and that set him back off to harder drugs. at age 50 he went from 5th's of liquor and pills to shooting up almost anything until his brother died of a massave heart attack at age 36. after the funeral my dad shot up one more time and blew a vien and called me and was worried and said he didnt want to die he wanted help. he checked hisself into a local rehab and only lasted a few days in there. i watched him die a little everyday and now here i am detoxing from the very thing that started his lifeless yrs.
my goal was to be able to go to the cemetery by fathers day and place those flowers there and say..i beat it. i think doing that will close alot of emotional bumps for me and today is the day i am taking my daughter with me to do this.
sorry this isnt an inspring or informative post or even has meaning but i felt the need to share this and the ways i am overcoming my addiction..the things that are behind me pushing to the goal. sometimes you have to see the bad to be able to see the good and i think just by admitting and asking for help everyone is 2 steps ahead of their addiction.