Aa
Okay, is anyone around, or awake.....?
Hey everyone,
Just kind of woke up, and having a little bit of the shakes and some fatique.
Just thought I would see if anyone is still around?
Love,
Todd
Just kind of woke up, and having a little bit of the shakes and some fatique.
Just thought I would see if anyone is still around?
Love,
Todd
A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT".
After thinking for a minute, she said to herself "oh well !" and turned around an drove home.
On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES".
By the time she drove eight miles, shehad cleaned 43 restrooms.
After thinking for a minute, she said to herself "oh well !" and turned around an drove home.
On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES".
By the time she drove eight miles, shehad cleaned 43 restrooms.
Q: Why did the blonde nurse bring a red marker to work?
A: In case she had to draw blood!
A: In case she had to draw blood!
Fish,
Now that's a good way to start off the day!!! LOL
How are you doing?
Love,
Todd
Now that's a good way to start off the day!!! LOL
How are you doing?
Love,
Todd
Fish,
Thanks for the laughs!
Quitting the Ambein (10th day) and down to 3 Hydro's plus coming off Valium, is......crazy sometimes!
I think I push myselft to hard, I can't stop freeken shaken...LOL
well, I'm check back latter when everyone is a wake...
Love,
Todd
Thanks for the laughs!
Quitting the Ambein (10th day) and down to 3 Hydro's plus coming off Valium, is......crazy sometimes!
I think I push myselft to hard, I can't stop freeken shaken...LOL
well, I'm check back latter when everyone is a wake...
Love,
Todd
OK, MY WIFE IS BLONDE AND i LOVE HER DEARLY WITH ALL OF MY HEART...... IT'S JUST......I still love blonde jokes and I alway tell her she's wacked.... probably for putting up with me.(PS she has a masters from Pepperdine University... PU heehee... seriously she really does). These were just grabbed from google and hey... it's late heehee
Q: What happened to the blonde that was tap dancing?
A: She fell in the sink.
Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!
Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.
Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?
A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.
Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
A: An interpreter.
Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A: A mental block.
Q: What do blondes do with their arseholes in the morning?
A: Pack their lunch and send them to work.
Q: How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: "What's a light bulb?"
A2: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
A3: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"
Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.
Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimer's disease?
A: Her IQ goes up!
Q: What's the difference between Indiana and a blonde?
A: A blonde has larger hills and deeper valleys.
Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been spotted.
Q: Why do blondes have square boobs?
A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box.
Q: What did the blonde's mom say to her before the blonde's date?
A: If you're not in bed by 12, come home.
Q: What's the blonde's cheer?
A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well..
I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."
Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A: Change.
Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a gorilla?
A: Who knows, there is only so much a gorilla can be forced to do.
Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
A: Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds."
Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.
Q: How does a blonde high-5?
A: She smacks herself in the forehead.
Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde having her period and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
A: To cover up the valve stem.
Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: Spot.
Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
A: A Space Invader.
Q: What's a blondes' favourite rock group?
A: Air Supply.
Q: Why do blondes drive VW's?
A: Because they can't spell PORSCHE!
Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday mornings?
A: Tell them a joke on Friday night!
Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?
A1: So they know if it is morning or afternoon.
A2: So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going to work or coming home.
Q: What's black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling?
A: A blonde electrician.
Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A1: So brunettes can remember them.
A2: Because blondes are so SHALLOW a long joke wouldn't fit.
A3: So men can understand them.
Q: What do you call a smart blonde?
A1: A golden retriever.
A2: A labrador.
A3: An indicator of a really bad hangover.
Q: Why are blondes hurt by people's words?
A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.
Q: Why do blondes have periods?
A: They deserve them.
Q: How does a blonde hold her liquor?
A: By the ears.
Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.
Q: Why did the blonde try to steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" and thought it was a Porsche.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a toilet?
A: A toilet won't follow you around after you use it.
Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
A: An air bag.
Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning?
A: A visitor.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
Q: Why did the blonde take her typewriter to the doctor?
A: She thought it was pregnant because missed a period.
Q: Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A: She missed.
Q: Did you here about the blonde that stayed up all night to see where the sun went?
A: It finally dawned on her.
Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911:
Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb.
Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?
Blonde: Yes.
Operator: The power in the house in on?
Blonde: Of course.
Operator: And the switch is on?
Blonde: Yes, yes.
Operator: And the bulb still won't light up?
Blonde: No, it's working fine.
Operator: Then what's the problem?
Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and we all fell and hurt ourselves.
Q: What about the blond guy whose wife gave birth to twins?
A: He wanted to know who the other man was...
Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger.
Blonde#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Blonde#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!
A government study has shown that blondes do have more fun - they just don't remember who with.
Q: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?
A: They don't know the route.
.
Q: What do you call a blonde touching her toes?
A: A brunette with bad breath.
Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what?
Q: What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down?
A: Two brunettes.
Q: What happened to the blonde that was tap dancing?
A: She fell in the sink.
Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!
Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.
Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?
A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.
Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
A: An interpreter.
Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A: A mental block.
Q: What do blondes do with their arseholes in the morning?
A: Pack their lunch and send them to work.
Q: How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: "What's a light bulb?"
A2: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
A3: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"
Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.
Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimer's disease?
A: Her IQ goes up!
Q: What's the difference between Indiana and a blonde?
A: A blonde has larger hills and deeper valleys.
Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been spotted.
Q: Why do blondes have square boobs?
A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box.
Q: What did the blonde's mom say to her before the blonde's date?
A: If you're not in bed by 12, come home.
Q: What's the blonde's cheer?
A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well..
I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."
Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A: Change.
Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a gorilla?
A: Who knows, there is only so much a gorilla can be forced to do.
Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
A: Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds."
Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.
Q: How does a blonde high-5?
A: She smacks herself in the forehead.
Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde having her period and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
A: To cover up the valve stem.
Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: Spot.
Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
A: A Space Invader.
Q: What's a blondes' favourite rock group?
A: Air Supply.
Q: Why do blondes drive VW's?
A: Because they can't spell PORSCHE!
Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday mornings?
A: Tell them a joke on Friday night!
Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?
A1: So they know if it is morning or afternoon.
A2: So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going to work or coming home.
Q: What's black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling?
A: A blonde electrician.
Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A1: So brunettes can remember them.
A2: Because blondes are so SHALLOW a long joke wouldn't fit.
A3: So men can understand them.
Q: What do you call a smart blonde?
A1: A golden retriever.
A2: A labrador.
A3: An indicator of a really bad hangover.
Q: Why are blondes hurt by people's words?
A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.
Q: Why do blondes have periods?
A: They deserve them.
Q: How does a blonde hold her liquor?
A: By the ears.
Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.
Q: Why did the blonde try to steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" and thought it was a Porsche.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a toilet?
A: A toilet won't follow you around after you use it.
Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
A: An air bag.
Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning?
A: A visitor.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
Q: Why did the blonde take her typewriter to the doctor?
A: She thought it was pregnant because missed a period.
Q: Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A: She missed.
Q: Did you here about the blonde that stayed up all night to see where the sun went?
A: It finally dawned on her.
Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911:
Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb.
Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?
Blonde: Yes.
Operator: The power in the house in on?
Blonde: Of course.
Operator: And the switch is on?
Blonde: Yes, yes.
Operator: And the bulb still won't light up?
Blonde: No, it's working fine.
Operator: Then what's the problem?
Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and we all fell and hurt ourselves.
Q: What about the blond guy whose wife gave birth to twins?
A: He wanted to know who the other man was...
Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger.
Blonde#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Blonde#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!
A government study has shown that blondes do have more fun - they just don't remember who with.
Q: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?
A: They don't know the route.
.
Q: What do you call a blonde touching her toes?
A: A brunette with bad breath.
Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what?
Q: What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down?
A: Two brunettes.
Hey Fish, have you ever thought about being a transcriptionist? If you can type all those lines above - obviously you enjoy typing and I know you are a good speller, now you just need some medical terminology, and you are ready to go, getting paid for every line you type instead of just doing it for fun! Hey, if you just type as much as you did above, you might be ahead of me!
Love, Cindy
Love, Cindy
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