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too many variables about vicodin

Hey everyone;
  thanks for all your previous answers to my post about w/d.  Gawd help me I was moving things around on my nitestand (where I keep my vicodin) and found a 'stray'... you'd have thought it was gold.  I'm down to my last 2 (so now I have 3)
  Finding you all is like a small miracle (I'm spiritual but not what you'd call religious).  It's just that I'm struggling with what path to take right now.
  I'm just starting working in health-care.  It's been a lifelong passion (I'm in my forties).  Unfortunately I have bursitis/arthritis in my left hip and after 4 hours on the shift I can barely walk.  My dilema? I use 12 vicodin a day and have no impairment on it. Before you all say, 'yeah, right, we've all been to that river in Egypt' know that I'm also in school to get my nursing degree and I'm getting A's.  So I'm high-functioning.  I don't get much of a rush, maybe a 15 minute period where I'm thinking, "I feel good" and then it's gone.  Without it, I hurt in my back, my hips, my knees.  I'm not working right now because I have a new injury, poss. torn rotator cuff.  
  I honestly physically can't do my job without the pain meds. Know that I'm not dispensing meds,and I'm not putting patients at risk with the kind of work I do.  At the same time, I have read the posts here and also identify with those who say if they have the pills, they take them.  I don't take them on a schedule, I take them whenever.  Usually 3 or 4 at a time.  I am scared of my behavior, yet I'm not strong enough to go off, plus I wouldn't make it through a shift.  
  I can't talk to my MD about this; I'm stuck in military health insurance and I can't change docs either.  I could ask to be sent to the pain clinic; they've had me on Fentanyl patches in the past, but Fentanyl doesn't help with the bursitis  arthritis.  
  I really feel like I'm in between a rock and a hard place; I have to w/d starting tomorrow (Mon) but I can (and probably will) get more meds on Friday.  How twisted is that?  I have so many questions.  
  Thank goodness my husband is out of town this week.  It won't be pretty.  Sigh.
  Any comments?
3 Responses
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177036 tn?1192286635
Yes, the body/mind psychosomatically "finds" pain to have you take more... ALSO... the healing properties of the body are greatly dimminished because of the opiates... get off with suboxone if you can't do it anyway else... there is a cost with that drug though.
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Avatar universal
Thank you for your encouragement.  I have gone off pain meds for 3 - 4 months but the pain was intolerable.  So I'm not sure that for me, the meds make it worse.  They don't.  I just  have the 'need' once I'm on them.  I wouldn't call it a craving, 'cause once  I'm off  (after the w/d stuff goes away)  I don't feel the need so much, just the pain.  I've tried ice, heat, physical therapy.   If there's  another  way (besides bursectomy, which my doc won't do)  I would  like to know...  thanks
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Avatar universal
I have worked as a nurse for over 20 years and am amazed at the Vicodon,
Oxycodone addicts out there.  I am not blaming the people, I am blaming the Dr's who are prescribing it and the drug companies.  I am absolutely positive that once you get off these drugs, your pain will either greatly decrease or go away.  These drugs CAUSE your pain, not relieve it.  I have know countless patients that were pain free after 1 day,2 days or up to 7 days after stopping these drugs.  The only way to get control of the pain is to stop using these drugs.  I am positive that these drugs tell your brain that you are in severe pain and the only way to help is to take these drugs.  I have seen patients get addicted in as little as 2-3 days.  I am asking everyone to get the word out and STOP filling the prescriptions.  Your life and happiness may depend on it.
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