So I wake up and I see my good friend Lil_rab is on and it made me smile so friggen much. She is the best....DAY 18 WOW, I feel great - i feel like a NEW ME!! Is that possible? I lost 5 pds. Working out as much as I can gotta get ripped for the summer lol i feel like a kid again. Here is a brief story of something serious that occurred:

I was playing with my nephew and sister in the park and we were just about to leave. We walked so we had to cross the road. He is 8 and wants to do everything by himself. He wouldn't hold my sisters hand and there was traffic so of course i made him. He broke away and started to run across the street because he had forgotten a toy at the park and by INSTINCT i grabbed his shirt and positioned my body toward the road well needless to say a car, at that same moment, flew by almost hitting me - in fact, the sideview mirror knocked me in the small of my back. It would have been my nephews head or much worse. My sister was all shook up by it, i told her i was OK and that stuff like this happens and lets thank GOD nothing worse did. My sister called me a HERO and I actually felt like one - she hugged me forever and wouldn't let go. NOW 18 days ago and me on pills this story could have been tragic in the sense of something worse and it is this moment I realized that I made the right choice - the w/d, the pain IT WAS WORTH IT. By being clean my reaction time was right on que and i was there at the right, time, moment and place.

To me what happened yesterday made me realize how precious life is and that I shouldn't waste another darn minute of it on pills. I love life and want to enjoy it CLEAN. I still crave but thats a small price to pay. To everyone Tim, Hopeless, Lucy, grievingwidow, lonote, lil_rab, lizzie, K_Todd, fishmeal, dave, marc. etc. who have helped me and talked me down the other night from getting more - I THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. YOU ARE ALL MY HEROES!!

Love

Alex