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203003 tn?1210855907

Just to give some people some courage

I was addicted to Pain Killers for 2 years, Im proud to say today I am 55 days clean, on the 26th I'll be 60 days clean thats 2 months! But what a struggle it was...

I took Clonidine, Valium and Promethazine for my withdrawal symptoms so I kind of did it cold turkey bc I didnt take much of the medicine I felt flu like for about 8 days then the rest was aches and pains which I took Ibruprofen 800's for helped a little bit. I took walks and just exercises A LITTLE BIT because my legs hurt felt like there was bugs in them and it wouldnt go away!, Now I feel great, for the most part. Im still on Valium because I have anxiety really bad, and im on Paxil for depression. People say Im replacing the pain killers with the Valium but Im not, Ive been on Valium since I was 17 and Im 22 now, im not addicted to them. They are not a replacement.

Im here just to tell everyone who wants off of drugs that you can do it, I didnt think I could do it but I did, and im the biggest baby you will ever meet!!  But I did it to better my life because there is so much out there that you appreciate when you are off of pills, and I thought everyday while I was detoxing "how am I going to live without these?" well I answered my own question, I was living before I took them, and I was pretty much killing myself on them. I want everyone to know, you need to put your mind to it and have friends and family and theres support groups out there. anyone can do this!! everything takes time but once you get where you wanna be, it feels AMAZING.

The mental part of the detox I havent had much. I dont ever wanna take another pill again, looking at them makes me wanna vomit, Ive had a friend overdose on Methadone and died and he was only 17, hes my inspiration. And I dont know any of you, but I do not want that to happen to ANY OF YOU, the pain of losing him, was enough hurt to make me stop. I miss him everyday of my life, So while you can, fix yourself..get off drugs, because you never know what tomorrow will bring. I had to see my friend on life support dead, with his heart still beating. I didnt want to put my family or friends through that, so do yourself a favor and PLEASE SEEK HELP!!! im here if anyone wants to talk. I wish everyone the best :)

Love,
Smiles
6 Responses
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Avatar universal
My deepest sympathy to you for the loss of your friend. And congradulations on your 55 days clean. Thats a really tought thing you are going through.I
hope your days slowly get better in your future. My heart goes out to you and the family of your friend.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hey, congratulations, you have something to be proud of, you really do.  While I aspire to be someday where you are now, I cannot imagine "looking at a pill and wanting to vomit", that is what is so scary, I know that I will always want them.  I am sure seeing your friend die like that probably helped set your mind against any future use, but how do the rest of us do it?  I mean not everyone is going to overdose on them, so how do you talk yourself out of having just one pill?  I guess I have to first get off them, then worry about that part when it happens, huh, one thing at a time!  Anyway, I am proud that you were able to do it!  Now that you are free of your drug addiction, hope that only good things lie ahead!

Love, Cindy
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hey Its Friday And I do hope your doing a little better each day. Are you tryingto ween of pills or just plain old struggling?I know whenever I read your post I'm feeling you. Just know you are not alone. I've had some irges to smoke some weed lately, but with suboxone, the doc can give me a random pee pee test, and if he finds anything illegal in my system I'm screwed where the suboxone
is concerne. It wouldent be worth it.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hello to you too!  No, I am not weaning, well not by choice, so just struggling not having my hydrocodone.  Even though I still have the methadone and percocet, I really depended on my hydrocodone for the 2-3 really bad headaches I get during the month, though would have to take probably six 10 mg for it to make a dent, I don't know why but the percocet just does not help that much even though I know it is stronger than hydrocodone.  I usually only take it a couple weeks out of the month, so I should not be really having withdrawal from it, think it is psychological.  But I know I have been taking more percocet and so afraid I am going to run out before the month is out.  I still think about doing suboxone or rehab every day, just cannot commit yet either way.  I think if my doctor brought it up first I would jump on it, but I know that is a cop out on my part.

So you are a teacher, that is so cool.  I wish you were here to help me with my 16-year-old who failed last semester and just cannot seem to make it to school.  My other two kids both graduated with honors and would have never dreamed of doing this, but it has been so hard without my husband and I am afraid some of it is my fault, she has not had the right guidance, I have been such a wreck myself.

Write back when you can.  Thanks for asking about me.

Love, Cindy
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Sweetie, no I'm not a school teacher. You coulden't keep me in school long enuf(Back in the day).It wasn't till the kids were in 5th grade I started taking up
with the teachers. I needed to learn 5th grade math!!!!For the kids so I could help them. What ever happened to addition and subtraction?   X&y&z=???

I'm the prestigous cashier! My moms always saying "you can do better that that!!!" Humm,,, I wonder where I got my high self asteem. It all started witha dysfuctional family...lol And I never saw my parents drunk  or my dad hit my mom! I know where it started. My dad died when i was young and Fifty years ago the doctor gave my mom a pill and said this will make you feel better.Then
when I got old enuf and went to the cabinet, and asked mom where her 'feel good"  aka  diet pills were she the doctor took her off them 'they were addicting"
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You know right after I posted that about you being the teacher, I thought "I think I may have this person mixed up with someone else", and looks like I did!  Oh well, doesn't matter about that, but thanks for setting me straight so I will know who I am talking to kind of!  I came from a very dysfunctional family, nothing normal in any way about our family.  I had a good mother I guess, but would have been better off to have not even had a father or brother, they did nothing but bring stress and heartache into my life, never one good memory, not even one, for either one of them my entire life.  I don't know why I am like I am now, just think working in doctor's offices having drugs surrounding me and going through severe depression with my husband's illness which came out of the blue, I basically found out when I was in my 20s that I would not have the happy life I had hoped for and we were so much in love and so happy, oh well. Thanks for taking the time to post back.  Let me hear from you tomorrow if you get back on, or tonight!

Love, Cindy
Helpful - 0
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