Thanks for all the opinions and words of encouragement. I don't know though yet what to make of my situation... quality of life is important. Who wants to be in pain every day, all day... I don't know what I'd be doing if not working. I feel better about myself not being on the hydro because of the stigma with opiate pain therapy and how incredibly difficult they are to obtain in sufficient dose and quantity, especially these days. But I can't do 90% of the things I want to do, or need to do, without pain management. I just signed up for blue cross health insurance, there will be a 6 month wait on pre-existing conditions, which is no big deal as I've been doing it out of pocket for years now, but having insurance will be nice. They have to billing rates at the clinics and hospital... one for the insured and one for the uninsured, and there is a huge difference so that will be nice to not have to fork over 400 beans cash money for xrays when I need them... again, thanks everybody.

Hi....good to see you are still here but not that you lost your job!!!! What happened??? The pain too debilitating???  Have you decided what to do about the surgery?  I agree that there is a very fine line....there are people that have uncontrolled chronic pain....if pain meds improve the quality of life and you can stay within parameters, I agree, use them responsibly. I, unfortunately, do not fall into that category and suck them up like a Hoover!!!!

I hope you find a decision that you can live with! I know how difficult this has been for you!  Take care and keep us posted!

Peace,
Marcie:)

What I found most helpful when I first came to this forum was that the experiences people (from all walks of life) had made me "check" myself to make sure I wasn't falling into using narcotics irresponsibly.  I am no angel and yes I have used them in the past to "relax" but not enough to interrupt my life.  Things are much different for me now though.  I take them for pain and I so wish that I didn't have to.  I also take alot of Bayer back and Body.  I find that 3 of those really helps for about 2 hours.  Give that a try also!

I love the "regulars" on this forum.  I ignore the imbeciles.  They are an inconvenient interruption to the good work that is accomplished here.

Funny, Fla Addict mentions SSI and Disability.  I was just looking at the State of Washington web site last night.  It was too much to read and absorb so I thought I would wait until today.  I do not know anyone that is on disability so I don't know why one would want to avoid filing for it.  I guess some $$ is better than nothing.  This surgery turned my world upside down as I was a Practice Administrator.  My salary at my last job was $167,000.00 year plus quarterly bonus.  Needless to say I am not working now and they terminated the position.  So I have filed for unemployment but that is only good for about 500.00 a week and you have to be "able" to work.  I am sure that I cannot collect unemployment and disability so not only am I in quandry about having the fusion surgery I also am trying to "learn the ropes" about state benefits.  In the best of all possible worlds I would love to just just be pain free and get on with "my best years".  I am a 52 year old female with two grown sons.

I didn't mean to be so long winded here but it just poured out.  I hope soe of what i wrote helps you and if you have any "back pain/surgery" questions feel free to ask.

dakmba

Hi.  I feel your pain my friend.  I too am in the sciatica boat.  In a nutshell I suffered with awful leg pains due to DDD and spondylolithesis and spinal stenosis at L5/S1.  I tried to control the pain with 7.5 hydros for 10 months while trying ALL the conservative therapies to get that damn nerve(s) released.  I finally could not take it anymore and I had a laminectomy (without fusion) on Jan 25th of this year.  Needless to say it is now considered a Failed Back Surgery and my surgeons wants to get back in there and do a fusion.  I am desperately trying to avoid that as stats show that only a very low percentage as successful enough to get the pain level down to where you can tolerate it and still have a normal (hold a job and have a life) existence.  I have been on Norcos since the laminectomy between 6 and 8 a day and that is barely holding back the pain.  I am a little bit further than you on this road but I also have had to ask myself, "Do I want to take another chance of a surgery and have metal screws/rods and WORSE pain or do I want to just accept where I am now and head for a pain management clinic?"  I have read so many posts in different places from patients that wish they NEVER did the fusion, that their life is miserable and they suffer mentally, physically and emotionally.
I ran across this forum in March and have learned so much about addiction.  Fla Addict is right about the fine line between dependancy and addiction.  A good percentage of folks here became addicted due to surgeries.  Eveyone here is battling some form of substance abuse.  Some are worse than others but one thing is for sure the GOOD FOLKS on this forum do not judge why, wat or how you became dependant/addicted to narcotics.  They are fully supportive and reach down to pull those who have "slipped up" back up again.

   Hi there; I'm in WA too,(I'm 45, in Oly) was on unemployment last year for non-health reasons so decided to change careers... but in the course of that process discovered  getting SSI or  anything like it in WA state is extremely difficult.  Coming from your income bracket I would guess you would be miserable,  income on SSI is VERY limited.  And no, you  cannot  get unemployment and disability, legally.
  It's tough to have a painful condition that could be a disability, yet with the right management/meds one could lead a productive life.  I have  days where  I struggle to get out of bed, much less go to work.  Now I'm not working because of a 'new' injury,  (employed, just not bringing in any  $$) and my husband is facing layoff due to contract being done.  So I have to force myself back to work,(if  I can get a Dr note giving the all-clear) with the pain.  without the pain meds.  
    I struggle with it every day.   I had nerve ablation done because of  pain at L5-S1 which was successful (although it was done twice  'cause the first attempt 'wore off' nerves grew back or something)...  now  I have hip arthritis/bursitis.  So my pain issues tend to migrate 'round my body.  
   Just wanted you to know I'm understanding your predicament.   Without  my hubby I'd probably be living in my car.  I don't want to think about what might  happen if anything bad happened to him.   I used to be  soo  self-sufficient.  
   Sorry so long ...
  

I know your predicament. I waited 8 months of excrusiating pain for my back to get better.Started the pain meds and all of a sudden, I had my life back. I could go to work.AND do all the daily things. Like shower, grocery shop, eat right(I'm profound anemic) exersice (to keep my back and abs in exellent shape to combat the injury) have a boyfriend (these guys require alot of energy LOL. Without them i can't properly take care of my self or others.
Problem is this life-saver eventually stops working for the pain. My hearing has suffered considerably and now my sight is getting worse. Also i can't remember anything anymore.
Honestly if i had no physical side effects(sight, hearing, memory) i'd probally stay on them.
Even with the daily counting of the pills and stress on 'will i make it to the next bottle?'
Quality vs quanity of life????
The clincher was how i felt incredibly great about EVERYTHING!!!
Was that why i was so in love with my boyfriend? I want the real feelings back.

In my opinion.. there is a fine line.. But alot of it is the behaviors that go with being an addict.. Not being able to stay within your dosage guidlines from the doc, stealing others meds, buying meds on the street, lying about how much you are taking them..ect..
A dependent person will sometimes go to that line, but usually finds there way back. If your quality of life is truely better on the meds and you can stay within the limits your doc tell you then I say go for it... being on disability can really hurt a person..I think its your personal choice.. its your life.. There are some chronic pain patients that would rather deal with pain than the life they lead on meds.. everyone is different.