Shelby, Ionote & All...Beddy-By-Time

Question

Well girls i took my sleeping pill, and am starting to feel really tired here. I hope you all have a great night, and get lots of sleep. 

You wonderful people helped me alot tonight - dealing with my father dying and all, your support means so much to me - Thanks.

Shelby & Ionote, i just love you girls and really thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your wonderful words you give to me. 

~~~~~I look forward to talking to you girls~~~~~When i go to bed at night, just knowing that i can get up in the mornings and know that you are going to be here, makes me sleep so much better. It's so amazing, all my friends i have made here and all the difference they have made in my life.

You know, my best friend (of 20 years) who just lives up the road from me, don't know half the things i tell you. I feel so much closer with you girls than i do her. I love you all so much and i know it's weird but feel like i have so many new best friends now. "Love this feeling"

Okay, going to hit the sack now...Will talk to you tomorrow.

xoxo
Love ya all
Me - Hope

marcatj · Answer

thanks honey... you are so right.  another time, maybe i could have "taken them like a normal person." who knows... but not now.  not with the year i've had, not-not working... too much time to sit and think, and take drugs...

one good thing happened today.  i stopped at the Coffee Bean and there was this mug.  here is the quote on the mug:

"just when the caterpillar thought the world was over,
it became a butterfly."

needless to say - i bought the mug.  then got home and lost my sh**... lol.

thanks sweetheart.. you are truly the best.

sweet dreams...
xoxox
me

shelby74 · Answer

I almost forgot...I am spelling things incorrectly a lot but I am able to catch it some of the time now.  Sometimes I even type a word that means something totally different.  See what 10 years of being fried on opiates can do?

ugh!  I am improving slowly though.

shelby74 · Answer

Oh honey I am sorry that you have been having a tough couple days...why didn't you scream at me??  I am sorry I was not there for you more.  I will be here tomorrow - so please log on.  We can chat about anything you want.  Again, sorry I was not here for you.

luv you lots and lots

xoxox

shel

marcatj · Answer

ah honey, you have nothing to be sorry for... i can't expect anyone to read my mind.

it could also be the effects of this weekend.. not my pain, but my mental state.

again - please don't be sorry.  i should have said something (you know how we are.)  and i have to get better at that.  and remember that when i do, it/you always make me feel so much better...

thanks honey for caring.  it was just a rough ride today.... :-/

luv you... and thank you...
xox-
me

shelby74 · Answer

I know you are tired...so I will make this short...

I am going to be all over you tomorrow - you are asking for help and you are going to get it!  Tough love baby!

For tonight though...remember what you felt like the other night when you took too many...that awful horrible feeling?  Do you really want to feel like that again??  Do you want to have to take more and more and more?  Killing your brain and who you are along the way?  You know what the best part about them is - taking them to just feel normal - and you know what?  You are still not normal!  I look back at the things I have done high and I can't believe it!

Short - right...I love you and sweet dreams and I will see you tomorrow!

xoxoxo

shel

marcatj · Answer

thanks sweetheart...

btw - i told my chiro about it (did i tell you that already?)  that i became addicted and that's why i can't keep them here any more. why i quit taking them, and why i can't have them here (uh, like a normal person might.)

he told me if it ever came to it, he would keep them for me.  so i wouldn't abuse.

i thought that was pretty dang cool.

ok - tomorrow talk me out of ever taking them again tho, ok?  somehow that made it seem "rational" and ok in my head today, especailly coupled with the pain... that if i needed to, i could.

you'll need to remind me manana how frickin' great i felt off of them (at least up until today.) k???  i'm sure my shrink will tell me the same.  hell - everyone knows!

xooxoxo
me

shelby74 · Answer

m you are too much like me!  I should have known.

I am here though - always thinking of you!  Even when I am working.  I need my own business, so I can do what the heck I want!  Maybe someday...sigh.

I hope tomorrow goes well for you.  I have to admit I am so glad you flushed those pills though.  I hate for you to be in pain but I am so afraid that you will go through years of **** like so many here.  Just love you too much to see that happen!

luv,

shel

marcatj · Answer

... just wanted to say sorry i wasn't on more the last couple days.

the truth is, tonight i was pretty bummed out, about all this pain and stuff. and to make it worse, sitting here makes it hard - which ironically, is probably exactly where i needed to be...

thank God (literally) i got rid of the pills the other day or i would have used.  for the pain.. and for the pain, if you know what i mean.

don't mean to drop a bomb right before bed (lol) and after chiro and acu tomorrow, i should be on for awhile, also in the a.m.

also going to a bbq with fun peeps tomorrow night, so that should be good for lifting the spirits.

love you guys - and need you much.  i will "reach out" more manana, as well as be there more for those who need...

xoxoxoox-
luv,
mj

shelby74 · Answer

Good night sweetie and I feel the same way.  Oh and I will be here tomorrow - I kicked butt at work today - so I can be here a lot more.

luv you!!

xoxoxo

shel

Shelby, Ionote & All...Beddy-By-Time

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