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Avatar universal

to sum it up

I have been coming here on and off for about 6 months now. I am addicted to Ultram for 11 years . I have gone C/T and tapered but I have never stuck with it for longer than a month except when I was pregnant. I have 4 children. I am so tired of being so tired. I tapered just this past March and then stayed clean for 3 weeks to just get another refill and start again. Now I am back @day 1 hoping it won't be so bad this time. but knowing otherwise. I wish I was stronger. I found out that my daughter has diabetes on Friday....she is 14 skinny and very active and never even gets a cold. I was never worried about the health of my children because they do what they are supposed to and eat well and excercise and now I feel like I got a smack in the head and I vow to get healthy and not rely on pills anymore. She is so strong and I feel weak. I am going to need a little encouragement again. The last time everyone here was so helpful and understanding because of their own experiences. I have told noone about my addiction ever except the people in this forum so I go this alone.
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Avatar universal
You won't get a little encouragement at this site, you will get ALOT.  We are all here for you, and you can do this.  I am sorry to hear of your daughter's diagnosis.  It sucks, but is manageable.  Please post often and let us know if we can help you.
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Avatar universal
Thank you I will
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216878 tn?1196037520
I now how you feel, i was and think still am dealing with this. I was taking percocets/Hydros  for over 4 years NONSTOP - would do anything i had to, to get them. I cancelled vacations if i knew i didnt have enough to take with me. This is sad!

I could not live without them, but i got so tired of trying to look for them day after day.  It just became impossible. I quit c/t on June 3rd. Not by choice just because i ran out. I went through hell i was so sick and had no energy at all. I went the first 14 nights without any sleep, got like a total of 6 hours throughout this whole time - think that was the hardest on me...God, i was tired.But now i am past all that. I slipped yesterday, and started taking a few again, i hate me for doing this, cause i went 15 days. So now i am going to have to start over again. I just don't want to go through all them w/d's again. No one knows about me either, except my husband. So it is hard hiding it from everyone. I have a son who just turned 14 (the day i quit, June 3) and have 2 step children who live with us. I feel so bad for what i put them all through, it wasn't onlyme suffering it was them as well. I am also a weak person, never was a tough chic. I usually give up at everything i do in life, so for me making it 15 days was a big deal. I just need to try again is all....

Sorry just wanted to share my story with you, so you know you are not alone in this. I know it's hard to do, and the w/d's suck, but Hun, youcan do this. Think positve....for you and your kids...

I am going to name a few things that helped me get to where i am now...maybe this will help you a little:

Imodium - for the runs and stomach

Gingerale - all i could handle to drink

Bananas - has potasium (good for the restless leg syndrom) Like 3 or so a day

Melantonin - over-the-counter sleeping pill (works well) - cheap too!

Long hot baths - before bed

Heating pad - used behind my neck (to help headaches) and on mylegs at night

Vitamin B Complex

Womans one a day for energy pills

and definately when you can - WALKING

- Last but not least - This SITE, is amazing, if it weren't for this place i know i could not have made it this far. Just by coming here and venting and knowing there are so many others just like you is amazing. Post anytime and about anything at all....It truely helps ALOT!!!


I hope maybe this can help you a little...It don't take all the pain and no energy away, but does help to relieve it...


Let me know if i can help you with anything else, ok?

Wish you all my best...

Hopeless
Helpful - 0
186166 tn?1385259382
welcome back...

every relapse you have faced has gotten you to this place in your life...it has only made you stronger in your resolve to beat this addiction.   draw from everything you have been through and everything you have learned along the way.   you know by now what works and what doesn't...so take that knowledge and put it to use.   you can do this and now you have an even more motivation...your daughter.

keep posting sweetie...everyone here will do whatever it takes to help you through this.   there is alot of love, support, andd encouragement on this forum...stay with us.

huggs,
kim
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Avatar universal
Hi Singha:  Glad to see you back.  You were here when I was posting often.  I completely understand about going it alone.  This forum was my sole source of support and I've been clean for four months now.  But just remember, it sometimes takes many times of trying before we make it.  It's unusual for someone to be able to get clean on their first, second, ect. try.  I, like FLaddict, don't post much anymore and for the same reason.  But I will be here for you if you need me, anytime and I mean anytime.  My email is ***@****.  Hang in there girl.
All those people that helped you in the beginning are mostly still here, so all you have to do is reach out.
Take care,
Yoda

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Avatar universal
Thank you all and I also want to be here for you all as well
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