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Noticing something very abnormal. Can anyone help?
by Gypsygirl66, Jul 08, 2007 12:00AM
I have always been a very intelligent person, my whole life, even as a child. I never had any type of ADD, I earned strait A's all through grade and high school and graduated college with a 4.0 average. I'm not trying to be be arrogant here at all, I'm actually pretty scared.
As most of you know, I was taking large amounts of pain meds for chronic pain for several years and in March I stopped taking them. I just hated not feeling any emotions, I felt that I had missed so much of my life and the lives of my family living in a fog.
I had gone over l00days w/o taking my meds and found out I would have to under go surgery. In that l00 and so odd days though, I felt like my brain was not functioning. I couldn't think out sentences, I would often get stuck in my thoughts when trying to think them through. Everything I wrote was very choppy and read like it had been written by an adolescent. I was very afraid that the meds had caused some type of brain damage.
I never abused my meds, chased a high, Dr. shopped or anything like that. I had always taken them just as prescribed, I just became chemically dependent/addicted. I actually hate that buzzed feeling that the meds give you and would try to keep it under that if I could control my pain w/o it.
Anyway my point, after my surgery I was put back on pain meds (at a much lower dose) and I've noticed that my brain function has come back to almost completely where it was before. I don't understand this at all. Does anyone know what's going on here? Will my brain function return completely again over time, when I again stop my meds after I recover from my surgeries(I am having surgery again Wednesday)? Can long term opiate use cause ADD? Please if there is anyone that can help answer thes questions, I would greatly appreciate it.
As most of you know, I was taking large amounts of pain meds for chronic pain for several years and in March I stopped taking them. I just hated not feeling any emotions, I felt that I had missed so much of my life and the lives of my family living in a fog.
I had gone over l00days w/o taking my meds and found out I would have to under go surgery. In that l00 and so odd days though, I felt like my brain was not functioning. I couldn't think out sentences, I would often get stuck in my thoughts when trying to think them through. Everything I wrote was very choppy and read like it had been written by an adolescent. I was very afraid that the meds had caused some type of brain damage.
I never abused my meds, chased a high, Dr. shopped or anything like that. I had always taken them just as prescribed, I just became chemically dependent/addicted. I actually hate that buzzed feeling that the meds give you and would try to keep it under that if I could control my pain w/o it.
Anyway my point, after my surgery I was put back on pain meds (at a much lower dose) and I've noticed that my brain function has come back to almost completely where it was before. I don't understand this at all. Does anyone know what's going on here? Will my brain function return completely again over time, when I again stop my meds after I recover from my surgeries(I am having surgery again Wednesday)? Can long term opiate use cause ADD? Please if there is anyone that can help answer thes questions, I would greatly appreciate it.
Gypsygirl, someone told me once that the past is the best one you will ever have and if you think about it, it's the truth. Emotionally we can do very strange things to ourselves... think about stress? It can manifest itself physically. My suggestion would be to you is put a smile on.... Be thankful for what you have left, and be helpful to others and I'll bet in just a little while, all of this worry will go away. Keep in mind that you were put on a much lower dose and your brain came all the way back... give things time when you get off again and don't stess yourself into "something." Maybe someone else will come up with a better answer but I do know that worrying will not make it better, only worse.
Keep up that PMA
fish
it just takes time.
its the time between quitting and full recovery thats a weird kinda limbo where our natural chemistry is 'off' and the chemistry of the pils is gone.
ive never been 'smart' and i feel weird/less sharp now 60 days off the pills
but i believe as long as i stay off the pills everything will improve.
might even grow some 'smarts' ;)
I also wanted to say HI and say that i'm sending {{{{{HUGS}}}}}} and {{{{{{{LOVE}}}}} your way! LOL
After injecting crystal meth (ever looked at the ingredients??) for two years straight, I went on to earn a B.A., a Masters, two teaching credentials and am 2 classes away from a second Masters. Before shooting crystal meth, I had shot heroin for a few years. I had basically been high from age 12 - 24 with the exception of when I was pregnant with my daughter and until she was 4 yrs old at which time I wouldn't even take an aspirin.
Now this is full on street drugs I'm talking here.
Speed ahead to present, and after being clean for almost 2 decades I get hooked on script drugs.
I am about 30 days clean and find that I get that loss for words type of thing too.
I think that it is temporary and that we will once again be as articulate as before. I don't know how young you are but for me I keep the age factor in mind as well.
Menopause has similar symptoms, aphasic speech issues (we know what we want to say but its slower retrieving the words from our brain and getting them out).
I guess time will tell.
tzt
Love,
Yoda
Someone told me that made me a funtional addict. It really never caused any problems for me.
I know the drug centers on our endorphines - so maybe if we try to kick up the natural endorphines somehow, stimulate?? the clearer thinking will result.
End line is the drug was probally making my memory even worse cause my boyfriend is always commenting on it. (I wasn't 24-7 on the meds)
I agree with the others, in time our brains will probally heal, if we quit beating them up. A good healing herb is passionflower, but too much can act as a sedative.
While I was write my last post I laid back for just a sec. and ended up falling asleep. When I woke up I just continued to write, I didn't even think to pop over and see if anyone else had posted. Plus, I completely left out an entire part of what I wanted to write. Sorry guys.
Fish: How's the Sub detox going? Have you been tapering? I hope all is going really well in your fight. You keep hanging strong.
justlikeme: 60days that's FANTASTIC.....Keep doing whatever it is that got you here. Great Job
awaken: keep holding on for the ride, you're going to do great. Keep posting and we'll all be here to support you.
mom2: How are you doing today?? Are you staying strong?? I' sending those ((((Hug's)))) & ((((Kisses)))) right back at ya MUUUAAAHHH...ttyl
tzlady: Hope you're having a fantastic day as well. I hope that things are getting easier for you and that this road to recovery doesn't have too many hill's and valleys. You're such a great soul.
Yodes: What's up girlfriend? You having a good day? You sound like you are. It's a beautiful day here in sunny South Florida too, but super hot....ttyl
broknbck: I hope all is gong well with you. You can reach out to me anytime. I'm not sure if I've read any of you post's but am planning on checking that out. Stay srtrong.
RSCLADY: I hope you're doing better today, I was glad to see you back. Anyone can do this, keep fighting one day at a time.
TO ALL OF YOU: THANK YOU ALL SO VERY MUCH FOR TAKING THE TIME TO POST YOUR SUPPORT AND CONCERN OF ME. I TRULY APPRECIATE EACH ONE OF YOU, AS I DO ALL THE PEOPLE THAT ARE HERE TO SUPPORT ONE ANOTHER.
YOU ARE ALL A GIFT, THANK YOU AGAIN.
Peace,
Gypsy
Love,
Yodes