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Anxiety Community
This patient support community is for discussions relating to generalized anxiety, anxiety and eating, anxiety and sleeping, mood swings, and phobias.
Awful Anxiety paranoid of everything/hiv
by goinouttamymind, Apr 16, 2007 12:00AM
ok well not sure where to start but here goes. About a month and a half ago i quit smoking marijuana and every since then i have been on a health rampage.I have been to the emergency room 2 times since last month nothing majorly wrong sinus infection and later a bacterial infection both cured with some medicine...then i started thinking bout this incident i had involving a deep french kiss and thinking about hiv i cant shake it i had a cut on my lip it bled just a bit i dont think it was bleeding during the kiss.now i keep thinking what if she had a cut in her mouth and it was bleeding i didnt notice any nor taste any i have these 2 old root canals and now there like large holes in my mouth my gums bleed when i brush but stop afterwards once i rinse i didnt know the hiv status of the person or there oral care i know the risk is like slim to none but i cant get it outta my mind its causing me to freak out. i have been in all the hiv forums and hiv hotlines everyone says im ok so i try and believe that its anxiety beating me up. sweaty palms, i get over heated or sometimes my hands and feet get really cold and my palms get covered in sweat i'll think so hard i get crazy headaches. i dont wanna leave the house cuz i cant look at the computer to keep being reassured even though it doesnt help entirley. I have nausea but i try not to get sick. I have these crazy dreams and they scare me cuz everything i do i relate to hiv...I took the Oraquick advance(Oral Fluid) at 5 1/2 pretty close to 6 weeks lacking maybe 2 days it was negative. That should tell me im ok with the risk being so low but its the what ifs. I get mad at my self cuz i just cant stop thinking cant afford to go to the doctor at the moment.I have recently just moved to a new city and have not found a job yet its been over a month. What can i do to get all this worry outta my head i try to meditate and that works for awhile but then i gotta open my eyes n reality hits me hard once again. I dont know what to do anymore any answers out there?????? I need control over myself and to be able to keep it.
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Your AIDS fear is an irrational fear caused by your anxiety. My suggestion is to get tested and get it out of your mind. I am sure that uyou are negative. However, anxiety has a habit of latching onto a new "symptom" or "illness" once one is gone and it is a terrible cycle. How do I know this? Been there done that!! I thought I had HIV, Lupus, brain tumors, MS, etc..... You need to get to a psychiatrist, therapist for help. The best to you!