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Anxiety Community
This patient support community is for discussions relating to generalized anxiety, anxiety and eating, anxiety and sleeping, mood swings, and phobias.
"tunnel life" support
by BethanySublime, May 07, 2007 12:00AM
arrggh I hate this feeling like I'm always slipping away into death!! it happens all day at work. now I know most of you don't approve of my habit of smoking weed, but I have to mention, this feeling is pretty much constant whenever I'm NOT high (and never there when I am). what does that mean?? have I just gotten so used to the feeling of being high that being sober just feels weird to me? Maybe that's all it is? I'm pretty convinced that I'm not ACTUALLY dying, since all of my anxiety (except the panic attacks) goes away when I smoke, and that includes this feeling.
on another note...
a kid from my highschool (a year younger) died in a motorcycle wreck on my street on Friday - it was his last day of highschool and the first day of his life. I didn't know him personally, but I was affected greatly by this incident. I have always been afraid of death because it can happen to anyone at anytime anywhere, and this just proves it more. I'm having a really hard time facing this reality without constantly worrying about my life. and to make it worse, I travel the same route he took every day, and I usually speed just like he was (it's a long empty stretch and I'm always late for work). I'm worried that I'll develop driving related anxiety. I'm also worried that just worrying about it will bring it on! anyone have suggestions to stop myself from developing it? (keep in mind I'm not treating my anxiety in any way)
on another note...
a kid from my highschool (a year younger) died in a motorcycle wreck on my street on Friday - it was his last day of highschool and the first day of his life. I didn't know him personally, but I was affected greatly by this incident. I have always been afraid of death because it can happen to anyone at anytime anywhere, and this just proves it more. I'm having a really hard time facing this reality without constantly worrying about my life. and to make it worse, I travel the same route he took every day, and I usually speed just like he was (it's a long empty stretch and I'm always late for work). I'm worried that I'll develop driving related anxiety. I'm also worried that just worrying about it will bring it on! anyone have suggestions to stop myself from developing it? (keep in mind I'm not treating my anxiety in any way)
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Remember....life is not judged by how many breathes we take...but by how many times our breath is taken away!
& I LOVE that quote. Here's another one that fits: Ignorance is bliss. Most people interpret that as "You're happy but you don't see what's hurting you" or something along those lines, but I think most of us in the anxiety forum should interpret it as a way to lighten up! Because it's true - we worry ourselves so much we can't always enjoy life. I guess there's a happy median when it comes to certain knowledge.
Just another perspective. I got tired of being afraid to die. I just figure it will come when it comes. Besides - my dad, who is a biker - always says he'd rather die on his bike than from a long miserable illness. He said death used to be his greatest fear, but now he is going to live life because there are people who use their seatbelts every day (like me:) and don't go out of their house for fear of dying, and then death can creep under their door and get them anyway (like cancer, heart attack, etc). So, they didn't even live life and they died anyway. PS....I don't judge you for your use of weed. It does have medicinal value - that is just fact (there is a big controversy over it but alcohol does more damage to people). HOWEVER, it is not legal, which can get you into a whole mess that you will really have anxiety about! Also, it's not regulated, so you don't know what you are getting. You could be getting pesticides, etc. in your lungs. Yuck, I'll stick with prescription. You know? Anyway, take care:)