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Anxiety Community
This patient support community is for discussions relating to generalized anxiety, anxiety and eating, anxiety and sleeping, mood swings, and phobias.
18y/o Male - Very concerned about an on-going problem.
by stroodlez, May 29, 2007 12:00AM
Please excuse the length, I figured the more information I included the easier it would help you guys make some suggestions. Im not looking for a diagnosis but just a steer in the right direction.
Let me start by saying I'm an eighteen year old male that comes from a family in which anxiety, depression, and social disorders are very common.
I do spend a lot of time isolated alone however I have a large group of friends and I excel in school, and at one point in my life was very confident about myself, the person who I was, and my appearance. Aside from this, my home life has been a complete disaster.
And lastly I'm not very educated on medications or the medical world in general, and the problem I'm having is very terrifying to me. The research I've done is driving me crazy and when I went to a doctor they said I was depressed and it would subside soon. It didn't.
_____________________________________________
Now let's get started with my problem.
For the last six or seven months I havent felt the same. There is a constant very slight pressure in my head that doesn't hurt or anything, but it's just something that's there.
My body as a whole doesn't feel right either. It's almost like I'm physically detached from my body, however I have full control over every part. (I'm sorry I'm not very articulate and have a hard time describing my thoughts, so bare with me). I have a problem in the back of my throat that developed some 3 or 4 years ago that doctors tried to tell me was post-nasal drip. This wasn't the case, after months of nasal medications to try and help clear up my problem that resulted in complete failure. However when it developed it was accompanied by a choking sensation and difficulty breathing, the choking/breathing problem has died down over the years however I still have this feeling of a blockage in the back of my throat, and I feel as if I constantly have to clear my throat (which doesn't do anything).
Now as I said the real problem began in the last 6 or 7 months, when the head feeling started. I find myself over analyzing every situation I'm in, having a feeling of almost being smarter then everyone. I feel I am able to analyze every single person facial expressions, actions, and voice tones so well that I can read their mind, I feel like a genius with a special gift (described as an: "AM I GOING CRAZY?" feeling). I'm finding my memory to be slipping (which isn't normal for my age) and it's almost impossible to concentrate on anything. Even watching television or going to the movie theatre is useless, since half way through I'm totally lost about what's going on.
My confidence is now shot, although I know I am fully capable of whatever I want to do, and have many great things to offer the world. I've become very shy and withdrawn and lost all sexual drive that an 18 year old male with raging hormones definitely should have. Ive lost all my motivation to succeed and have let my school go to complete ****, the beginning of my life is coming close as school is ending and Im so worried about what Im going to do but at the same time I just dont care. I lost all interest in doing the things I enjoy. Playing video games really isnt fun anymore, hanging with my friends isnt the same, and music which was the love of my life has become nothing but repetition. I dont enjoy anything anymore and feel as though Im gliding through life.
I've also developed a strange inability to maintain eye contact. I get a very uncomfortable feeling and thoughts start racing through my head when I stare someone in the eyes, so naturally I avoid doing so. This is one of the biggest problems Im having, as you can only imagine how frustrating it is to talk to someone who doesnt look at you. So making new friends is extremely difficult, and keeping the ones I already have is a totally different task in its own. I find myself bailing on massive parties that any 18 year old would die for, because I know when I get there Ill be uncomfortable the entire time being surrounded by people, and not enjoy myself at all).
I have developed a very strong sensitivity to the cold, and about 4 months ago I had an unexplainable thing happen to me. I had a quick nose bleed(the first one Ive ever had in my 18 years) which right after followed by extreme head rushes and my vision became extremely blurry, this feeling lasted for about 20-30 seconds, in which when it stopped my entire body was drained, and lifeless. I was shaking all over, and felt as if I hadn't eaten in days (coincidentally I had just finished eating and this happened at the dinner table). I was hyperventilating, and the people I was with thought I was going to die as I had turned white as a ghost. For about 2-3 days later I felt very good and the head pressure was gone, but not for good. It returned at the end of that week and until this very second hasn't gone away. Ever since then I get a very dizzy feeling once in a while when I try to focus on certain objects (i.e. the computer screen) that persists even when I close my eyes.
Like I said, I have been doing a lot of online research about how I've been feeling, so the most common thing I've heard is that 'deep breaths calm yourself down'. So I took some deep breaths about 3 nights ago, and during this I got a tingly feeling in my right and left fore-arms up to my fingers, and my vision slowly started getting blurry. My heart was racing and my palms started sweating profusely. I got a chill feeling all over my body and shortly after I smoked a cigarette to calm myself down. After this I noticed my vision appeared more 3-Dimensional.
Since then Ive had a repeat of this feeling at least once each day, the worst being last night laying awake trying to fall asleep. My room looked very foggy in the dark (distorted vision); my palms were sweaty and I smothered myself in my blankets to keep warm. My heart was beating so fast I could feel it beating on my left side of my chest without even touching it; I thought I was going to have a heart attack. I dont know if this is me over analyzing the situation either, but when I looked in the mirror it was as if I was staring at a person I have never seen before either. Like I was looking at myself through another persons eyes.
I could go on however I think Ive stated everything I needed to, Im sorry for the length and maybe including useless information but like I said, I didnt know how much I would need to type to give you some sort of idea of how I was feeling.
Let me start by saying I'm an eighteen year old male that comes from a family in which anxiety, depression, and social disorders are very common.
I do spend a lot of time isolated alone however I have a large group of friends and I excel in school, and at one point in my life was very confident about myself, the person who I was, and my appearance. Aside from this, my home life has been a complete disaster.
And lastly I'm not very educated on medications or the medical world in general, and the problem I'm having is very terrifying to me. The research I've done is driving me crazy and when I went to a doctor they said I was depressed and it would subside soon. It didn't.
_____________________________________________
Now let's get started with my problem.
For the last six or seven months I havent felt the same. There is a constant very slight pressure in my head that doesn't hurt or anything, but it's just something that's there.
My body as a whole doesn't feel right either. It's almost like I'm physically detached from my body, however I have full control over every part. (I'm sorry I'm not very articulate and have a hard time describing my thoughts, so bare with me). I have a problem in the back of my throat that developed some 3 or 4 years ago that doctors tried to tell me was post-nasal drip. This wasn't the case, after months of nasal medications to try and help clear up my problem that resulted in complete failure. However when it developed it was accompanied by a choking sensation and difficulty breathing, the choking/breathing problem has died down over the years however I still have this feeling of a blockage in the back of my throat, and I feel as if I constantly have to clear my throat (which doesn't do anything).
Now as I said the real problem began in the last 6 or 7 months, when the head feeling started. I find myself over analyzing every situation I'm in, having a feeling of almost being smarter then everyone. I feel I am able to analyze every single person facial expressions, actions, and voice tones so well that I can read their mind, I feel like a genius with a special gift (described as an: "AM I GOING CRAZY?" feeling). I'm finding my memory to be slipping (which isn't normal for my age) and it's almost impossible to concentrate on anything. Even watching television or going to the movie theatre is useless, since half way through I'm totally lost about what's going on.
My confidence is now shot, although I know I am fully capable of whatever I want to do, and have many great things to offer the world. I've become very shy and withdrawn and lost all sexual drive that an 18 year old male with raging hormones definitely should have. Ive lost all my motivation to succeed and have let my school go to complete ****, the beginning of my life is coming close as school is ending and Im so worried about what Im going to do but at the same time I just dont care. I lost all interest in doing the things I enjoy. Playing video games really isnt fun anymore, hanging with my friends isnt the same, and music which was the love of my life has become nothing but repetition. I dont enjoy anything anymore and feel as though Im gliding through life.
I've also developed a strange inability to maintain eye contact. I get a very uncomfortable feeling and thoughts start racing through my head when I stare someone in the eyes, so naturally I avoid doing so. This is one of the biggest problems Im having, as you can only imagine how frustrating it is to talk to someone who doesnt look at you. So making new friends is extremely difficult, and keeping the ones I already have is a totally different task in its own. I find myself bailing on massive parties that any 18 year old would die for, because I know when I get there Ill be uncomfortable the entire time being surrounded by people, and not enjoy myself at all).
I have developed a very strong sensitivity to the cold, and about 4 months ago I had an unexplainable thing happen to me. I had a quick nose bleed(the first one Ive ever had in my 18 years) which right after followed by extreme head rushes and my vision became extremely blurry, this feeling lasted for about 20-30 seconds, in which when it stopped my entire body was drained, and lifeless. I was shaking all over, and felt as if I hadn't eaten in days (coincidentally I had just finished eating and this happened at the dinner table). I was hyperventilating, and the people I was with thought I was going to die as I had turned white as a ghost. For about 2-3 days later I felt very good and the head pressure was gone, but not for good. It returned at the end of that week and until this very second hasn't gone away. Ever since then I get a very dizzy feeling once in a while when I try to focus on certain objects (i.e. the computer screen) that persists even when I close my eyes.
Like I said, I have been doing a lot of online research about how I've been feeling, so the most common thing I've heard is that 'deep breaths calm yourself down'. So I took some deep breaths about 3 nights ago, and during this I got a tingly feeling in my right and left fore-arms up to my fingers, and my vision slowly started getting blurry. My heart was racing and my palms started sweating profusely. I got a chill feeling all over my body and shortly after I smoked a cigarette to calm myself down. After this I noticed my vision appeared more 3-Dimensional.
Since then Ive had a repeat of this feeling at least once each day, the worst being last night laying awake trying to fall asleep. My room looked very foggy in the dark (distorted vision); my palms were sweaty and I smothered myself in my blankets to keep warm. My heart was beating so fast I could feel it beating on my left side of my chest without even touching it; I thought I was going to have a heart attack. I dont know if this is me over analyzing the situation either, but when I looked in the mirror it was as if I was staring at a person I have never seen before either. Like I was looking at myself through another persons eyes.
I could go on however I think Ive stated everything I needed to, Im sorry for the length and maybe including useless information but like I said, I didnt know how much I would need to type to give you some sort of idea of how I was feeling.
Post Comment
Next, I can quite relate to the mental feelings you are having and I believe those are very much anxiety/depression symptoms. When I was on the wrong SSRI (anti-anxiety/depression med) it compounded my depression 200000-fold and I too felt like I was living in someone else's world. Nothing that used to bring me joy mattered at all anymore. I was just, as you said, gliding through life. I would plan things and then back out of them at the last minute b/c it did not interest me as it once did.
My good news is that I recognized this was a very bad med for me. The bad news is that I believe you are suffering from extreme depression and anxiety and for that you MUST seek the advice of a psychologist - your MD should be able to refer you to one.
But, you must take hold of your life right now - medically, mentally, financially, etc.; you are 18, an adult now at a wonderful age. Although we cannot help where we come from, we can control the future with the right attitude and a positive outlook.
You sound like you have so much to offer the world and society, but I know, you're not yourself and it will be hard to get off your butt (it was for me - but I hated feeling the way I did so that helped alot) and get going; just do it with all of your inner strengith and the strength of the one above - pray, see a clergy person - whatever to gain that strength and feel yourself again!
My very best to you; please post backto let me know of your progress - I care very much!
Your symptoms are certainly consistant with anxiety and depression however, whether these are causing your physical symptoms or it is the other way around will need to be determined by a doctor. Good luck to you, and please keep us updated.
I, too, suffered with depression and anxiety. But I didn't know that anyone else had ever had an issue with looking people in the eye. That was a bigtime problem for me. It was almost as if I didn't want to "let them in" by looking in there eyes or letting them look in mine.
You are definately not alone, and doing research can be incredibly frustrating I know. I can't tell you what I did specifically to "cure" my condition, as I'm not a medical doctor, but I can advise you to see a holistic, natural doc. They can and will address the causes, not just symptoms. I do understand and sympathize with what you are going through, as I have been there. Definately try out a good holistic doc. They treat the person as a whole, not just the disorder/disease. Best of luck to you.
Kay
links to anxiety and depression:
http://www.how-to-stop-your-anxiety-now.com/panic.htm?hop=jumpmom2
http://www.anxietynomore.co.uk/at_last_a_life.html?hop=jumpmom2
http://www.anxietyzapper.com/?hop=jumpmom2
http://www.conqueringstress.com/?hop=jumpmom2