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HERE COMES TROUBLE

My 14 year old son has had trouble with everyone of his teachers since early elementary school.  He has no respect for the teachers and acts out by disturbing the class, talking, making noises, slouching in his chair, staring at the ceiling, refusing to do school work.  Detentions, in-school suspensions and parent conferences do not seem to be working to correct his behavioral problem.  

At home he is a normal child although he does not respect his parents.  When we attempt to discipline him because of his actions at school, he refuses to listen.  He laughed at his father and said, "I know you won't take anything away from me or spank me".  We had no other alternative other than attempt to spank him.  Although I do not believe in spankings, this one was in order due to his talking back and disobeying.  His father could not get him to bend over.  They began wrestling because my son refused a spanking.  His father gave up.  My son walked out of the house and left.

His teachers say that he hangs around the wrong kids at school.  At home, he has no contact with these other children.  We are afraid that as he becomes older he will be more out of control than he already is.

Help!
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Avatar universal
Many parents think that there should be an age limit forspanking.
I'm SO glad that you still spank your 14 year old.  Teenagers more than anybody need to know that you're still the boss!

KEEP SPANKING HIM!!!
That's the best advice I can give!
Helpful - 0
242606 tn?1243782648
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Dear Angelia,

You mention that at home your son is a normal child. He is not. The level of defiance, oppositionality and disruption that you describe is very worrisome, and you are absolutley correct to be concerned about his future. That you would resort to trying to spank a fourteen-year-old is evidence of your desperation.

It's important to seek dramatic intervention. Depending where you live, you can approach the local court for what is often called a Child In Need of Services (CHINS) petition. The court intervenes to support the authority of the parents and teachers.

Your son likely displays a type of Disruptive Behavior Disorder called Oppositional Defiant Disorder, and it is possible (in light of his chronic school-related problems) that he displays a learning disorder as well. These things, as well as the possibility of a mood disorder, need to be evaluated. You can probably achieve the types of assessment your son requires partly through the school system and partly through a referral to a mental health/behavioral health professional.
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Avatar universal
Jo
Im so sorry you are dealing with such a hard child!  My girlfriend Rose had a son with same behavior, only he also hit her often, and she came to find out he was doing a lot of drugs, and that is what explained his behavior!  Please try to change him now, because my girlfriend wasnt so lucky, she buried her 20 year old son on May 10th, 1999!  He was doing heavy drugs since about 13 or 14- so please see if it is in fact drugs, if it is- please get help for him (as well as for you)!  Good luck and god bless!  Jo
***@****
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