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Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
bedtime battles
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
bedtime battles
by Mariann, Jun 29, 2000 12:00AM
My 2 and half year old refuses to make bedtime a pleasant experience. I have tried everything. She screams and cries every single night, refuses to stay in her room and 1 more story is never enough. I have tried bedtime routines of quiet time, bath and books. It doesn't seem to slow her down or soothe her. She has 1 two hour nap early in the afternoon and we try to make bedtime around 9:00pm. We have tried locking her door, forcing her to stay in her room and she screams and cries for hours. I have tried to have her play quietly in her room and that doesn't work. She still screams and cries. I am going crazy. After 2 and 1/2 years of not having a peaceful evening I am burnt out. She was in our bed until 10 months old and then we started to transition her to her own bed it's been a nightmare ever since. Please help me!
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Jun 30, 2000 12:00AM
, Jun 30, 2000 12:00AM
Dear Mariann,
Is she actually using a regular bed? Or, when you say bed, do you mean a crib?
If your daughter is in a bed, your task is very difficult, indeed. At her age, she should be in a crib. Children this young, in general, don't have the impulse control to be in a bed.
One way or the other, you have to bite the bullet, so to speak, to solve the problem. In other words, you're going to have to be firm about the limit you set and not defer to your daughter's screaming. It may go on for a long time, but this will stop if you remain firm.
Also, it might be best now to stop the afternoon nap. Ideally, you wouldn't want to do this yet, but it might help solve your situation.
Is she actually using a regular bed? Or, when you say bed, do you mean a crib?
If your daughter is in a bed, your task is very difficult, indeed. At her age, she should be in a crib. Children this young, in general, don't have the impulse control to be in a bed.
One way or the other, you have to bite the bullet, so to speak, to solve the problem. In other words, you're going to have to be firm about the limit you set and not defer to your daughter's screaming. It may go on for a long time, but this will stop if you remain firm.
Also, it might be best now to stop the afternoon nap. Ideally, you wouldn't want to do this yet, but it might help solve your situation.
Denise