If you are having problems every day, then grounding, etc. will not work.  Something else is happening here.  Does your son have a diagnosis?  If not make sure you get a multidisciplinary assessment.  Don't let a doctor talk to you for 15 minutes then hand you some medication.  That is not how it is supposed to work.  you don't want to let this continue since the older they get the worse it can get if you don't take action now.

I am a firm believer that diet, allergies, and deficiencies play a big role in children's behavior.  Try reading some of my other posts here.  Go to foodallergy.org and drrapp.com to see how diet can affect behavior.  We had really bad problems out of my son between 4 1/2 and 5 until I eliminated artficial ingredients (especially dyes) from his diet and added essential fatty acids.  He became like a different child - obeyed, didn't argue, etc.  

Try reading "The Defiant Child" by Dr. Douglas Riley.    

Are you sure thats not MY child your talking about?  I feel the same way, I tend to ground him every day.  In one night, he cuold lose the computer time, tv time, early bed time, outside time, and none of those seem to work.  You mentioned leverage???  I dont know what else I could use as leverage???


Angela

Plus give specific praise for positive behavior.  Praise raises the self esteem in children and usually makes them want to do better.  In other words, catch them doing good too as well as catch them doing bad.

Dear Kevin,

Sometimes we think that a dramatic, extended punishment will have a forceful impact on our children, but it often doesn't work out that way. What tends to be more effective are plans whereby, on a day-to-day basis, for a child your son's age, some thing(s) is/are contingent on their behavior.

Let me give you an example (I'm not suggesting you employ this specific plan - it's simply a template). Let's suppose your son likes to play video games. You can make his privilege to play video games each day contingent on his behavior during the after-school time with your neighbor. With such 24-hour-at-a-time plans, (a) your leverage is always available, (b) the child can be continually reinforced, and (c) there's always light at the end of the tunnel for the child because, even if the child loses the privilege on one day, when the next day dawns he has another opportunity to do better. Just figure out where the leverage is - children vary in relation to what they value, what they like to do, etc. But there's always leverage.

Generally, such plans are pretty effective. If, after a few weeks, you see no change in the pattern of the behavior, consider an evaluation by a pediatric behavioral health professional. But I'd continue to focus for now on your behavior management efforts.