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Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
7 year old son cries every morning
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
7 year old son cries every morning
by Jane, Sep 03, 2000 12:00AM
My 7 year old son is in 1st grade and is very bright. The problem is that he cries excessively every morning before going to school. I have talked to him about it and he says he loves his teacher and 1st grade, but hates afterschool care. I have talked to his teacher and she says he cries on and off all day, but manages to get his work done, and done correctly at that. He has always been a sensitive child, but he usually adjusts to changes within a few days. We are now on out 3rd week of this behavior and I am at my wits end. Could he possibly have seperation anxiety? And if so what are some suggestions to help him?
Thanks - Jane
Thanks - Jane
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Sep 04, 2000 12:00AM
, Sep 04, 2000 12:00AM
Dear Jane,
Yes, your son might be displaying separation anxiety. It is encouraging that he's doing well in his work. As time proceeds, he'll probably adjust fine and cease the sad response that seems to accompany his separation from you. It's still very early in the new school year. You can help him by patiently supporting his school attendance, and demonstrating an understanding, accepting stance toward the sadness he feels. Let him know how proud you are of his accomplishments, but do not display a negative or disapproving reaction to his sadness.
Yes, your son might be displaying separation anxiety. It is encouraging that he's doing well in his work. As time proceeds, he'll probably adjust fine and cease the sad response that seems to accompany his separation from you. It's still very early in the new school year. You can help him by patiently supporting his school attendance, and demonstrating an understanding, accepting stance toward the sadness he feels. Let him know how proud you are of his accomplishments, but do not display a negative or disapproving reaction to his sadness.
A friend had a similar problem with her son. This worked for them. Everyday for a week, the boy had to smile when he got to aftercare, even if he didn't feel much like smiling. After a week, he discovered that it wasn't such a bad place.
Have you spoken to the aftercare provider to ensure that the older kids aren't picking on your son? My son was the one of only 2 kindergarteners in aftercare last year. Sometimes the older kids played too rough. My son handled it by letting the provider know when he felt that he was in over his head.
Good for you, I am a working mother of an 8 yr old having an anxiety problem going to school. I have been trying to work with teachers and principals meeting with them daily to try and come to some conclusion of my son's anxiety. He seems to have a problem this time every year, the anxiety of a new teacher, new work, new expectations, new rules. My pediatrician told me to try to be as calm as I can, be consistant with what you say and do, make sure he goes to school everyday because this is what is expected of him. He also said sometimes they themselves don't understand what is wrong, but they know they don't feel right about something. They cannot be held responsible for something they do not understand. The afterschool is not really the issue, he is not there long enough for it to be. That is by far the safest place for him to be if he can't be with you!
My son attends the afterschool program and he loves to be a "helper" so they ask him to help them get out snack, help the younger kids get settled, this makes him feel like he has helped and accomplished something.
This anxiety usually subsides within a few weeks however, this year I have an unsupportive teacher, so I am working with the principal and others in the school to help my son adjust. Most schools are very helpful in this situation if you express your concern, also if there is a friend they can agree to meet with afterschool that would be helpful also. I hope this is helpful to you I too am at my wits end with what to do about this, thats why I came to this website. Just try to love and support your child the best you can, proof of being here means you do love him.
Hang in there!!!! Cheryl