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parenting\discipline
I am constantly raising my voice with my son. I feel awful about it, and I realize it is not effective and sets apoor example.
However, he does not listen to me, after repeating requests ie time to eat, time to brush your teeth, 4 and 5 times I lose patience. He is 5, as of yesterday, and he constantly says, "sorry mommy I can't," " too late mommy I already put the movie on " or just "no". As I said, I feel horrible for losing my temper, is it common or should I just let him be?
However, he does not listen to me, after repeating requests ie time to eat, time to brush your teeth, 4 and 5 times I lose patience. He is 5, as of yesterday, and he constantly says, "sorry mommy I can't," " too late mommy I already put the movie on " or just "no". As I said, I feel horrible for losing my temper, is it common or should I just let him be?
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Dear Natasha,
What you are describing is quite common, and it's not a good idea. You are, basically (even though you don't want to), teaching your child not to take you seriously. You should not repeat a direction more than one time after you first give it. And, if your child does not follow the direction, place him in time out. If you decide to repaet a direction after you first give it, do so in the following manner: Unless you ......, you will go to time out. For more details on this, use the SEARCH function in this Forum and you will see many Q & A's that deal with this exact issue.
What you are describing is quite common, and it's not a good idea. You are, basically (even though you don't want to), teaching your child not to take you seriously. You should not repeat a direction more than one time after you first give it. And, if your child does not follow the direction, place him in time out. If you decide to repaet a direction after you first give it, do so in the following manner: Unless you ......, you will go to time out. For more details on this, use the SEARCH function in this Forum and you will see many Q & A's that deal with this exact issue.
Try giving specific praise for good behavior and not responding to the bad. State up front the consequences of not obeying and ALWAYS follow through. No yelling, no repeating. My favorite phrase is "That is your choice". Boy, when I say that Kyle (6) really snaps to attention because he knows he needs to obey. But do not focus on punishment only. Giving praise for obeying and doing it nicely works wonders. You should see a difference after about two weeks. Just keep it up.
Try reading 123 Magic and The Defiant Child. Both excellent books on teaching us parents skills to win these situations. And you will need your parenting skills upgraded. My first child (now 20) was a model child and always obeyed. Then Kyle comes along and is 180 degrees different.
Try reading 123 Magic and The Defiant Child. Both excellent books on teaching us parents skills to win these situations. And you will need your parenting skills upgraded. My first child (now 20) was a model child and always obeyed. Then Kyle comes along and is 180 degrees different.
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