MY 7 YEAR OLD WOES!!!

Question

My son, a 7 year old boy was just discharged from a mental hospital. (diagnosis: ADHD, ODD, and Passive aggressive behavior)  We will begin therapy soon, until then,(2 weeks) could you please give me a bit of advice about how I can handle his difiant behaviors.  I do not want to yell, spank, or REACT in a way to encourage this new way of him getting what he wants.  I cannot leave him in a room alone because he will destroy it within minutes.  If I tell him that he cannot do something, he demands a reason, I have tried to tell him "because that is the rule" or "because that is dangerous", but he rebutes everything.(with anger)  He cannot be trusted to use the bathroom for even a couple of minutes in private because he smears his feces all over himself and the walls.  I feel that he is aware of his behaviors (since his discharge)and uses them to get a response out of me.  I can't wait to start therapy so that we both can get through this tough time.  Incedentally, he is a twin, (his sister is normal)he was born 10 weeks early, and the twins have an older brother (11 months older).  I am trying to be patient and understand, but the other 2 children see his behavior, and they see his special attention.  I wonder if I am encouraging this by not reacting with my traditional yelling, but I realize that yelling and reacting to his previous actions were partially to blame for his behavior prior to the hospital.
Please give me some hope for a normal family life.
Catch

Kyle's Mom · Answer

Try essential fatty acids.  My 6 yr old was doing exactly the same things a couple of years ago.  Tantrums, arguing, aggressiveness, destroying things, etc.  We could not take him anywhere and had no life.  Two weeks after starting EFAs (we use Efalex) the tantrums stopped and he became more compliant, no tantrums, said he was sorry and took responsibility for his actions.  EFAs can help with behavior problems and can help eliminate the frequency and duraction of manic episodes in bipolar disorder.  Kyle also had some dyslexia, vision problems, and dry itchy skin.  I know know these were symptoms of an essential fatty acid deficiency.  His dyslexia is gone and he no longer wears glasses.  Kids with an EFA deficiency need DHA, but you cannot give just DHA alone.  I have tried many EFA products but Efalex is the only thing that helps Kyle.  It is the only one that has AA along with DHA.  If the EFAs had not helped Kyle would be in an institution by now - or I would!!

Try reading "The LCP Solution" by Jacqueline Stordy and Malcolm Nicholl.  Another good book is "The ADD Nutrition Solution" by Marcia Zimmerman.

Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. · Answer

You are correct in thinking that yelling and reacting in a very emotional manner will not be helpful - it will only fuel the behavior and upset you. What is required in dealing with oppositional and defiant behavior in young children is a systematic way of responding, not an ad lib or spontaneous approach. Rules have to be spelled out clearly, as do the consequences (positive and negative) for adhering or not adhering to the rules. Therapy with such children is less important in its face-to-face contact with the child than in its collaboration with parents around establishing a sensible behavior management plan. Time out will need to be an anchor of the plan, and you'll have to figure out some powerful incentives (these depend on the individual child's likes and dislikes, to some extent). Over the next couple of weeks, try to read Lynn Clark's SOS:Help for Parents. It will give you a good idea of the sort of approach I'm recommending, and it will serve as a good foundation for when you start speaking with the therapist. And a gentle warning - don't expect too much from therapy. If you think it will bring quick results, you're going to be disappointed. Progress with such children is not steady, it's not even slow and steady. It's more a matter of two steps forward, one step back, but in the end the child does improve.

MY 7 YEAR OLD WOES!!!

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