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Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
7 year old girl masterbating ??
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
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7 year old girl masterbating ??
by garman, Jun 01, 2001 12:00AM
Hello, My daughter just turned 7, and I am concerned about her. She has a particular stuffed animal that she is using to apparently rub on herself. I have caught her, accidently a few times with this stuffed animal between her legs in a " missionary " position, or rolling around with the bunny between her legs. She often comes walking through the living room announcing that she is going to get her bunny and take him into the TV room. Or she will go off into her bedroom, and announce that she does not want any intrusions for a while, while she plays with her bunny. She sometimes comes out of her room, or from the TV room all sweaty, announcing that she is hot & sweaty. The bunny episodes happen approx. 3-4, sometimes more times per week. She is an only child, but we provide lots of activities to avoid too much bordom. IS this normal ? do 7 year old children have orgasms ? I also have a toy barrell that will shake, or vibrate, which she would disapear with sometimes. I ended up throwing this toy away after I realized what was going on. I have confronted her with her antics, and told her this was a private thing, and she she should not be doing this in the TV room, or discussing this with her friends. Is it OK for me to acknowledge with her that I know what's going on ? I am a single father, and need some direction with this matter. I have already aknowledged with her that I know what's going on. I told her it was OK, and normal but private. She seems a bit young to be doing this stuff, let me know what you think, Thanks!
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Jun 03, 2001 12:00AM
, Jun 03, 2001 12:00AM
The single fact of a child of seven engaging in masturbation is not, in itsef, a cause for worry. However, the frquency of your daughter's behavior is perhaps indicative of a problem and is deserving of some professional evaluation. First, have her examined by her pediatrician. If everything appears OK from a medical perspective, follow up with an evaluation by a pediatric mental health or behavioral health clinician.
It is certainly OK to bring this up with your daughter, though I worry a bit about your using the phrase "what is going on" and the word "antics". These indicate that you might be conveying a tone of wrongdoing or illicitness in relation to the activity, so be careful about that.
It is certainly OK to bring this up with your daughter, though I worry a bit about your using the phrase "what is going on" and the word "antics". These indicate that you might be conveying a tone of wrongdoing or illicitness in relation to the activity, so be careful about that.
Now about her having orgasms, I don't think it is a very long one. At her age she probably only would have one that lasted from 12 to 30 seconds. And as she gets older it will increase in length of time and intensity. (If you have any comments or questions e-mail me at ***@****) Ok!
Or maybe if you have a girl friend of some kind or if you have masturbated, and she has seen you having sex or masturbating without you knowing, and then try's to recreate what see has seen you do. By trying to have sex (or masturbating, which ever you believe she is trying to do) with her favorite stuffed animal it could mean that maybe she lacks some attention or mental relationship with you and is trying to create an act of love of some kind by masturbating. I have found that children are very interested in sexually content, and are very aware of the act of sex at a very young age. Children often become aware of sex at the age of 6 to 8. There is also a very effective approach that I find that works. Try to explain to her about sex, tell her what happens about intercourse, mastubating, all the basics. If you find it hard to explain to her go to a library and find some basic books that can explain the basics to her. Read it to her, or if she can let her read it to you so you can help your understand it and answer questions. Do not just watch TV. And leave her in her room reading herself, she probably wouldn't understand it and will not read all of it. If she finds it funny of even sickening, that is perfectly normal. It is also normal for her to ask questions, and to not wan to talk about it. If she doesn't want to talk about it, it most likely that she feels uncomfortably about it. This is a sign that she knows about something of sexually content, meaning that she learned it from you (most unlikely), or at school (most likely) from friends or maybe even a teacher. Sex ED is not usually taught until 4th to 5th Grade. At age 7 she should be in 1st to 3rd grade, so it is probably from friends at school. So I think you should look into this.
Now about her having orgasms, I don't think it is a very long one. At her age she probably only would have one that lasted from 12 to 30 seconds. And as she gets older it will increase in length of time and intensity. (If you have any comments or questions e-mail me at ***@****) Ok!
Or maybe if you have a girl friend of some kind or if you have masturbated, and she has seen you having sex or masturbating without you knowing, and then try's to recreate what see has seen you do. By trying to have sex (or masturbating, which ever you believe she is trying to do) with her favorite stuffed animal it could mean that maybe she lacks some attention or mental relationship with you and is trying to create an act of love of some kind by masturbating. I have found that children are very interested in sexually content, and are very aware of the act of sex at a very young age. Children often become aware of sex at the age of 6 to 8. There is also a very effective approach that I find that works. Try to explain to her about sex, tell her what happens about intercourse, mastubating, all the basics. If you find it hard to explain to her go to a library and find some basic books that can explain the basics to her. Read it to her, or if she can let her read it to you so you can help your understand it and answer questions. Do not just watch TV. And leave her in her room reading herself, she probably wouldn't understand it and will not read all of it. If she finds it funny of even sickening, that is perfectly normal. It is also normal for her to ask questions, and to not wan to talk about it. If she doesn't want to talk about it, it most likely that she feels uncomfortably about it. This is a sign that she knows about something of sexually content, meaning that she learned it from you (most unlikely), or at school (most likely) from friends or maybe even a teacher. Sex ED is not usually taught until 4th to 5th Grade. At age 7 she should be in 1st to 3rd grade, so it is probably from friends at school. So I think you should look into this.
Now about her having orgasms, I don't think it is a very long one. At her age she probably only would have one that lasted from 12 to 30 seconds. And as she gets older it will increase in length of time and intensity. (If you have any comments or questions e-mail me at ***@****) Ok!
Peter
Thanks