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Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
8yrold too nice/forgiving When do we help him with back bone?
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
8yrold too nice/forgiving When do we help him with back bone?
by islander, Mar 21, 2002 12:00AM
Other boys making fun of him, goofing on him. He realizes its improper but forgives them and continues to say hello and invite them to play etc.. He is not lacking in personality, friendships and is very outgoing. He is a "merry" type of child which we think may be one of the problems and is being noticed by the other boys. I know its the "bullies" that have the problem but those are the types that torment children for a life time. We are fortunte to have nice things. The kids just come over to use the "toys" and leave. We have explained to him why they are his friend in our house then ignore him at school etc.. but he just doesn't care. He said "mom I am different than the other kids you know that right?." Now that blew me away. He said "his parents are never around. We dont even know what they look like. He says bad words and spits so you know is not loved"
My husband and I are besides ourselves. I get so upset because no matter how "sweet" or "smart" are son is, I still dont think he should NOT CARE or IGNORE what they are doing. I dont want my son to have the "kick me" paper on his back. How do I help him understand without stripping that special part of him that is so good. I just want to protect him. Thank you
My husband and I are besides ourselves. I get so upset because no matter how "sweet" or "smart" are son is, I still dont think he should NOT CARE or IGNORE what they are doing. I dont want my son to have the "kick me" paper on his back. How do I help him understand without stripping that special part of him that is so good. I just want to protect him. Thank you
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Mar 22, 2002 12:00AM
, Mar 22, 2002 12:00AM
I'd worry only if he were without friends or somehow socially ostracized. Be thankful that you have a child who is sensitive and altruistic. Let him handle this. Now, having said that, I'd step in as a parent only if a child is obviously taking advantage of your son - i.e., displaying no interest in your son as a playmate other than gaining acess to his toys. Also, I'd follow up on his comment about the differences he has noticed. Tell him you are curious about that observation, and you are interested in what he's noticed about himself vis-a-vis other kids.
Chris
He is my only child by choice. Then four years later I found out I had MS and was for sure not going to have any other children. I have it very mild. We are all aware I have it but it really does not affect our lives. We live in a small town now. We are from a very large city so that and just the aging process for him I guess is setting us back and causing us to question things.
Thanks again and thanks for the vent :)