My daughter is almost 13.For the most part she is a very sweet young lady.She was in the gifted program for the previous years in the 5th and 6th grades.This year however she has refused to do the work assigned and has failed several classes.I restricted her from her favorite activities and she improved temporarily only to backslide in a month or less.She is also very lacking in her personal habits and has always been. Her room is in a constant state of complete dissarray.I am not a hardline housekeeper but some sort of minimum effort should be made. I will get after her and it gets cleaned for a couple of weeks only to be trashed again.She becomes very upset when I do have to force her to do what she has neglected. She screams,cries,sobs,slams doors and throws things. She is like this in every room in the house. Shoes are left in the living room.Candy and food stuffed under the cushions.Papers and general trash left in her wake. Always met with the same results.What am I doing wrong? What should I change? She has two older brothers. Lorne is 20 and was a serious problem when he was a teenager. We wound up having to ask him to leave our home. Nick is 15 and is very even tempered and never given us much trouble of any kind.Jane's father and I have been married for 23 years. I was a stay at home mother up until about 5years ago. I still only work part time so I can be at home when they get home from school.I don't want to see Jane go down the same path as her oldest brother,but I am beginngin to see some of the same behavior. What can I do to head this off?
Thanks very much,