Anger Management

Question

My 8 year old son has a hard time controling his anger.  He gets very upset usually over small things (small meaning not being able to watch a certain TV show).  Tonight he got mad when I asked him to shut the TV off to go to swim lessons and he threw the remote at the TV.  When he gets upset he is known for throwing, punching and kicking things across the room, slamming doors and yelling at me.   He doesn't listen to anything I say and when I try to tell or ask him to do something he alway says, "No..I won't or No..I'm not listening."  I am really scared of what it will be like with him as he grows older.  I am a single mom and seem to have no one to turn to for help.  I am at wits end with him and I often just sit and cry cause I feel hopeless.  Anyone out there in the same situation or have any ideas of what I can do.  We talked calmly about this problem tonight and talked about making a "chart" but every time I start something like this, it works for about a week and then falls through the cracks.  I need it to work this time and I am not really sure how.  H-E-L-P!!!

migraineangel · Answer

My son is the same way to the tee! He was hit by a car, his father was in a 3-car head-on collision, and he (son) burned our house down! I thought he was going through some after-shock stuff, but I found out he is Bipolar and learned new ways to deal with his outbursts. I'm not saying your son is, but I would definitely have a doctor check him out. Our outbursts are much less and now that I know what and when it is occurring, I hold him and love him instead of disciplining him(or both). Good luck!

phasmid · Answer

Do you manage to do "fun" things together often enough? It sounds like (unless there is an organic cause for his behavior) there may be something missing in your relationship. Take him for a walk, play a game, ride a bike together.

Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. · Answer

If your son is successful in school, among friends and in out-of-home situations, it is likely that a systematic program of behavior management will make a difference. It's going to be important for you to take the bull by the horns and be very consistent and persistent. Relative to an effective approach, read Lynn Clark's book SOS: Help for Parents (Parents Press, Bowling Green, Kenticky). The approach is ideal for children like your son. Also, seek out an appointment with a child menatl health clinician. Such professionals can help you figure out what is going on, rule out any other emotional problems, and design an approach to manage the behavior.

Anger Management

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