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Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
5 yo son not adjusting to kindergarten
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
5 yo son not adjusting to kindergarten
by tinawees, Oct 18, 2002 12:00AM
My 5 yo son is bright and seems to do well socially. He attended two years of part time preschool. I am a stay at home mother with one other younger child. In the past 6 weeks we have had some major family traumas (death of a family member, loss of employment).
In the first 2 weeks of kindergarten my child seemed to do fine. In the third week he whined a little when I took him, but seemed OK. Then one day he ran away from school and had to be chased down by his teacher 4 blocks away. I was shocked and frightened. Since then he has gone from whining to crying every day and finally to fighting and screaming about being left at school. When I pick him up, he seems fine and seems to be doing OK academically though not as well as preschool. He has made a couple of friends but is still very quiet.
How can I help him to develop some coping skills to handle the seperation from home? Should I focus on making more friends? I never cry in front of him, but usually end up crying all the way home after dropping him off. My gut instinct is to pull him close and baby him, but I know that isn't doing him any favors.
In the first 2 weeks of kindergarten my child seemed to do fine. In the third week he whined a little when I took him, but seemed OK. Then one day he ran away from school and had to be chased down by his teacher 4 blocks away. I was shocked and frightened. Since then he has gone from whining to crying every day and finally to fighting and screaming about being left at school. When I pick him up, he seems fine and seems to be doing OK academically though not as well as preschool. He has made a couple of friends but is still very quiet.
How can I help him to develop some coping skills to handle the seperation from home? Should I focus on making more friends? I never cry in front of him, but usually end up crying all the way home after dropping him off. My gut instinct is to pull him close and baby him, but I know that isn't doing him any favors.
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Oct 19, 2002 12:00AM
, Oct 19, 2002 12:00AM
You're right - that would not help. Stick with your plan to be sure he attends, even if it tugs at you. This type of regression is not uncommon in the wake of the types of family changes you describe. Outside of school, try to have him involved in some form of structured peer group experience, even if only for one time each week. He'll likely be fine. The best predictor of the future is history, and his history is that he made a good adaptation to preschool.
