Member Comments are provided by individuals and reflect their personal opinions only. Under NO circumstances should you act on any advice or opinion posted in this forum. ALWAYS check with your personal physician before taking any action regarding your health! MedHelp International and our partners, sponsors and affiliates have no obligation to monitor any comments posted on this site, or the content and/or accuracy of such exchanges. MedHelp International does not endorse the views of any user.
Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
Out of Ideas
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
Out of Ideas
by jon17, Nov 07, 2002 12:00AM
My 17yr. old son is in the 11th grade. Since the 6th grade, He passes 4 out of 6 classes. Math always fails then english and science rotate. Bring one up and one goes down. He dosen't do assigned work, or study for tests. Grades are 80' to 100 on what he turns in, tests run 30 to 60. Last 9 weeks he had 20 zeros in science.
I tried private school for two years. All the teachers say they can't help him until he decides to do the work. I had him tested for a learning disability. The terapist said he was capable of making average. All his standardized test put him in the 45 to 55 percentile. Other than grades he is a excellent kid no behavior problems. Florida requires a 2.0 to graduate and hopes are fading. He plays the system, and taking things from him makes him act like he is just going to fail, just to show us. I spend a lot of time with him and always tell him, it's going to be him who will regret what he is doing in the long run. When I ask why he did't tun in the work he has no answer. Social activity seems normal. He wants to play sports but he won't make the grade it takes to play. His teachers say he has a don't care attitude.
Any advice would be great. I'm out of ideas. Thanks, Jon17
I tried private school for two years. All the teachers say they can't help him until he decides to do the work. I had him tested for a learning disability. The terapist said he was capable of making average. All his standardized test put him in the 45 to 55 percentile. Other than grades he is a excellent kid no behavior problems. Florida requires a 2.0 to graduate and hopes are fading. He plays the system, and taking things from him makes him act like he is just going to fail, just to show us. I spend a lot of time with him and always tell him, it's going to be him who will regret what he is doing in the long run. When I ask why he did't tun in the work he has no answer. Social activity seems normal. He wants to play sports but he won't make the grade it takes to play. His teachers say he has a don't care attitude.
Any advice would be great. I'm out of ideas. Thanks, Jon17
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Nov 07, 2002 12:00AM
, Nov 07, 2002 12:00AM
Not all children are motivated to excel in school, just as kids vary in the degree to which they are motivated to do any other things. Your son has such a lengthy history of underachieving in school that it is unlikely this will change unless he comes to see some reason to invest more in the learning process. Now, I'm assuming he's not depressed or displays any other emotional disorder that can interfere with functioning. It's probably sensible to talk with him about what he'd like to do with himself post high school, and then direct energies toward that goal. As a parent, it's sometimes hard to surrender our own ambitions for our kids, and this is really painful when they just don't seem very inspired or energized by learning. You certainly did the right thing to rule out a learning disability, and he sounds like a 'good kid' who is just not invested in school. If there is some sort of vocational aspiration that he has, maybe he'd devote some effort toward moving in that direction. If he's in primarily an academically -oriented program, it may just not be his 'cup of tea', so to speak.
The only way I got through High School is making up Flashcards. And all my teachers helped. Giving me an idea of what may be on the test.