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Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
Big problems with my 2 1/2 year old grandson
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
Big problems with my 2 1/2 year old grandson
by jobejoy, Nov 18, 2002 12:00AM
He will be 3 in March, a sweet loving child. When he was 10 months old, he took his diaper off and smeared poop all over the crib, walls ect. He did this several times then stopped. He's done this off and on since. Recently it's starting up again! My daughter puts him in his room for his nap or to go to bed, he takes his mattress off the bed, turns the toddler bed frame over, scatters his toys everywhere. He won't leave the light off, he plays until he falls asleep on the floor. The worst part is that he is pooping on the floor and smearing it everywhere. He also peed on his pillows yesterday. They have been working on potty training and he's maybe half way there. He's on only child, both parents in the home. My daughter was ADHD and still is. At this age we almost never left her in a room alone as she would tear it up. I laid down with her at nap time and held her down until she fell asleep, same at nighttime. She wouldn't scream, she just wanted to be up and running. We didn't give her the opportunity so I don't know if she would have played in her poop or not. My daughter says she needs some time alone and doesn't want to lay down with him. She's talked to his doctor who had no advice. She's talked to the Parents as Teachers folks who come into her home monthly to work with them. They are doing some checking but so far no answers there. He's been evaluated recently in a "Count Your Kid In" program and everything was fine. She can't afford to see a counseler but I'm afraid she's going to lose it if we can't find some answers for her. For the most part he is a typical little 2 year old, sweet, kind, affectiate, except for this pooping thing. He only does this when he's put in his room to nap or for bedtime. Any advise or ideas would be so appreicated. Thank you!
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Nov 18, 2002 12:00AM
, Nov 18, 2002 12:00AM
Your grandson, like many children, should not have been removed from his crib at such a young age. The fact that he's now in a bed makes this problem much more serious than it would otherwise be. Many children at this age simply don't have the impulse control to remain in a bed, and they tend to feel scared and vulnerable and then act out. His mom might even consider returning to the use of the crib. This may appear to be an odd suggestion, but your grandson may feel much more protected and safe in his crib. It's generally not recommended for parents to remain with a child as part of the bedtime routine - it promotes dependence on that practice. The goal should be for the child to fall asleep on his own. If your grandson's health care is covered by some insurance, it is likely there is a mental health benefit associated with the insurance also. This can be utilized to seek some help.
I checked and there is no counseling coverage on their insurance. My daughter needs to be seeing someone but can't afford it. I'm really afraid she's going to lose control and hurt him. She says that she's been at that point a couple of times lately. It's causing lots of stress between her husband and her. I'm really worried and don't know how to help. I live too far away to be able to take him much. Any ideas?