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Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
11 year-old abnormal fears
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
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11 year-old abnormal fears
by LynnOne, May 06, 2003 12:00AM
What would cause an 11 year-old boy to be terrified of noises? He will not flush a toilet due to the noise. He's afraid of balloons because they might break and make a noise. If the washing machine is going in the next room, he is afraid to use the bathroom because he can hear the washing machine and thinks something is behind the shower curtain. He won't go outside and play in the daytime, alone. When there's a group of children, and even if he's the oldest, without fail, he will come running into the house because he thinks he hears a noise. He won't go into the basement alone. He won't go get the mail from the mailbox right in front of the house, by himself. He claims to have sores on his feet and hands, and pain, yet there's nothing there. Sometimes he claims his room is clear full of spiders, yet there are none there at all. He does not cling to people. He does sleep alone in his bedroom, does fine at school with his classes, though he is ADHD and is on meds for it. Has been verbally and physicall abused by his father - parents now divorced and just goes there for visitation. Sometimes he begs not to go. His fears are out of control. Any ideas??
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., May 06, 2003 12:00AM
, May 06, 2003 12:00AM
As children grow and develop, if they are well taken care of and able to trust that parents will provide for them and keep them safe, they develop comfort with the world at large and are able to establish relationships and master the various demands of growing up. When those early conditions are not met, children often grow up feeling vulnerable and afraid - sometimes even terrified. They tend to be hypervigilant and always on the alert for threats to their safety. This little boy needs professional intervention. And, as an immediate matter, for him to be having contact with an abusive parent is likely not such a good idea. Imagine what it must be like for him to spend time with his father when he has been the victim of his father's abuse and may well continue to be the victim. This situation begs for examination. When a child urges people to disallow contact with a biological aprent, something very wrong is occurring.
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You need to get this child to a therapist who he can voice his opinions and fears to. Then you need to call your attorney and either hav the therapist testify for suspension of visitation, or make them supervised. He does not have "mental" problems, the child is is fear. I know what I'm talking about, been right where you're at. Good luck and get that boy help NOW.
I have a 13 year old boy who needs his 6 yr old brother to go everywhere with him. He too is afraid to be alone, won't take out the trash if it is after dark. Won't go upstairs by himself and follows me around the house. I can not think of anything that tramatized him. He is on Resperdal but doesn't seem to help. He is in therapy and has been on paxil untill I took him off because of severe weight gain that was adding to his anxity. He is very odd and we are looking at a new Dr. for a second oppion. It is interesting about the spiders and pains, my son often thinks he is getting sick and his terified to throw up. Wish I had some anwsers for you.