Aa
Is it him or her?
My ex-wife was talking our son to a therapist for about a year under the guise of our son receiving the thearpy.I soon found out that my ex-wife was being councelled for her lack of parenting skills,while my insurance and myself was paying for my son.Since this discovery my son has been interviewed by two other doc's,and has had therapy by two others,one for 6 months the last and current one for 1.3 years.
I recently had my ex at Friend of the Court to evaluate her portion of child care expenses,which by the way were $0.00.She's now so ticked off that she swears that our son will stop seeing his current therapist ans she'll change him back to the first phony.
Yes,he has some behavioral problems,but he's 9 and has been on a lot of different medication to smooth out some of his edges.My ex is playing him like a chess game,I'm sure to try and make my life miserable.On a scale of 1-10,I'd say he's 90% of the time at an 8,then for some unknown reason he drops to a 2 for a short period of time (1 hour) and then is fine.He has been diagnosed with ADHD/ODD and is currently on Seraquel (sp?)as prescribed by his current doc,who by the why,really cares about HIM and not his moms condition.
What do I do?My wife and I are at a complete loss.This kid is completely normal at our home,but comes unglued at his moms.I'm sure he knows who he can manipulate and who he can't. But,at our house there's is love and boundries so he knows where he stands, unlike his mothers home.Should I fight for full custody? The children live with us for a week and their mother's for a week.
I recently had my ex at Friend of the Court to evaluate her portion of child care expenses,which by the way were $0.00.She's now so ticked off that she swears that our son will stop seeing his current therapist ans she'll change him back to the first phony.
Yes,he has some behavioral problems,but he's 9 and has been on a lot of different medication to smooth out some of his edges.My ex is playing him like a chess game,I'm sure to try and make my life miserable.On a scale of 1-10,I'd say he's 90% of the time at an 8,then for some unknown reason he drops to a 2 for a short period of time (1 hour) and then is fine.He has been diagnosed with ADHD/ODD and is currently on Seraquel (sp?)as prescribed by his current doc,who by the why,really cares about HIM and not his moms condition.
What do I do?My wife and I are at a complete loss.This kid is completely normal at our home,but comes unglued at his moms.I'm sure he knows who he can manipulate and who he can't. But,at our house there's is love and boundries so he knows where he stands, unlike his mothers home.Should I fight for full custody? The children live with us for a week and their mother's for a week.
Maybe you should schedule and transport your son to his appointments. Let his mother take care of herself - putting a busket under the leak does not fix the roof - and maybe make it a custody thing that she continue her care. If you become responsible for his appointments, then what your ex does during that time doesn't matter. Make sure the doctor understands that while you realize that the mother needs services as well, you just can't be paying for it. Blame it on the insurance company if you like.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
As a general observation, the types of shared custody arrangement you describe do not serve most children very well. They often tend to be arrangements that satisy parents' conflicting views about custody, but often are not generated by what is in the best interest of the child. Young children do much better when they have a clear principal residence. One rule of thumb I often send along to parents who are trying to decide custody issues is that the child should go to sleep and wake up in the same house each day of the school week (weekend time, holidays, vacations can vary).
Relative to therapy, obviously I cannot comment on the quality of the care your son is receiving. But I do want to reassure you about one thing. When trying to help young children, most pediatric mental health professionals would certainly focus part of the intervention on trying to help the parent(s) in the interactions with the child and in developing a systematic approach to behavior management. Helping the parent is definitely one way to help the child, and in many instances our chief activity revolves around offering assistance to the parent because we recognize that such intervention is the best way we can be of help to a child. Our face-to-face time with the child is not always the most useful part of the treatment.
If you think the custody arrangement should be re-evaluated, seek some guidance from the clinical personnel at the court. Such an evaluation may help you to decide how to proceed on the legal front.
Relative to therapy, obviously I cannot comment on the quality of the care your son is receiving. But I do want to reassure you about one thing. When trying to help young children, most pediatric mental health professionals would certainly focus part of the intervention on trying to help the parent(s) in the interactions with the child and in developing a systematic approach to behavior management. Helping the parent is definitely one way to help the child, and in many instances our chief activity revolves around offering assistance to the parent because we recognize that such intervention is the best way we can be of help to a child. Our face-to-face time with the child is not always the most useful part of the treatment.
If you think the custody arrangement should be re-evaluated, seek some guidance from the clinical personnel at the court. Such an evaluation may help you to decide how to proceed on the legal front.
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