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Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
6 yr old son having trouble at school/home/everywhere
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
6 yr old son having trouble at school/home/everywhere
by End of Rope, May 21, 2003 12:00AM
For 4 months my son has been having problems behaving daily in practically every setting (school, school bus, before/after school care, at home and in public). This is causing concern for me on just about every level (my mental health, my son's safety, the impact on his learning and social life, etc.). He has been subject to just about every kind of discipline ranging from time out, to school punishment, to grounding, to rewarding good behavior, to spanking, and nothing seems to help. My son is the class clown at school, causing disruptions for himself, the teacher, and the other students, he completely disregards school rules, he completely disregards the rules on the bus (which have to do with his safety), he does not mind me, he completely disregards my rules, and it is hit or miss of whether or not he will listen to me if I direct him about something at a particular moment (like, "Don't touch that!" when something is sharp or hot or whatever). In the past month my son has hit me with a shirt, he has spit in my face, and the other night he told me he would like me better if I were a prettier mom like the other kids' moms at his school! I am at the end of my rope and don't know where to turn. My son is not as disobedient with his father at his father's house, but this does not change his behavior at school, the bus, etc. - he gets into trouble at those places regardless. My son's teacher and I have established a notebook that we send back and forth to communicate his behavior at school, and, though things there are getting somewhat better, his behavior at home has gotten worse. Mostly, though, it is difficult because it is DAILY. It is one or another thing EVERY DAY.
Mothers keep telling me it is "the age" and that he is "a boy", but it seems like so much more than that! Should we look into seeing a professional? Nothing else seems to be working.
Mothers keep telling me it is "the age" and that he is "a boy", but it seems like so much more than that! Should we look into seeing a professional? Nothing else seems to be working.
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., May 21, 2003 12:00AM
, May 21, 2003 12:00AM
The reasons for seeking professional help are to clarify what is occurring with your son (his behavior is not typical of the age and is not likely to improve without help) and to help you figure out a systematic way to deal with him. When children are displaying age-typical behavior, routine behavior management will usually take care of things. But your son's behavior is far outside the norm for his age, and requires some specialized attention.
My advice is to continue working with the Dr and get counseling. Medicine is necessary to get the child mature enough to control themselves from behaving like this. Strattera is a new ADHD medication without a stimulant that seems to work over time. And..... do some research on the intenet to be informed.
i also have a 6 year old son... after reading your post my heart went out to u as a mom because my son acts just like yours and he was just dxed severe bipolor disorder ,adhd, and ptsd ..i soooooo know what your going through my son acts out at home and at school now....he was first just dxed as adhd and tried alot of the stimulant meds he was then hospitalized at age 5 as a danger to himself and others because he ran away from me and out into the street in a rage type trace ....he also has a 2 year old sister whom hes very mean and violent with at times ..he also kicks pinches and bites so when hes not stable i stay bruised up... the longest period i've had without a rage is a little over a month....i just now after alot of call making signed papers to start an iep workup..the schools been dragging there feet almost all year on getting him the help he needs..hes now on depakote 500mg twice a day for the bp but yesterday had to switch meds due to his behavior hes now going to be taking litium 300 mg twice a day.....does anyone else here have a child on litium and if u do could u please write a post back on how it did for your child thank u ..... bp- mother to son a.j
We had met with the teacher, the principal and school councilor and inferred that my son’s action were not “normal” and that implied that my son was “dangerous”. In fact it seems that the principal is trying to collect evidence against my son to this affect.
For example, when the principal asked my son why he hit the little boy, my son’s reply was “I thought he was going to hit me first” and the principal stopped his questioning at that point. Had the principal questions further his would have helped that it was all part of the “batman and bad guy” game they play that included “fake fighting”. My son told me that the hitting was an accident and when I ask the principal why he wasn’t taking into account the little statement that the hitting was an accident and just give my son a warning, the principals respond was “How can I be certain the your son didn’t tell that little boy to say it was an accident”.
By the way, my son attends a before and after school at another location and all the teacher that say he his normal for a 6yr and is performing great! My son is also going to counseling and the councilor says that the behavior displayed at school is normal. Academically my son is at or above average for his grade and age.
My question to you all is….is that a clinical study, chart, grafts or database of information that will tell me when “normal” behavior is a t 6yrs. I would like to present these studies to the school. I would also like to know about these “core or special needs” evaluations that the principal strongly suggested we to. What are these test, what do they entail and when might be the outcome of the tests.
Thanks,