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Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
Sleep Problem 4 yr. Old (Tantrum/Hitting/Bouncing on Bed)
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
Sleep Problem 4 yr. Old (Tantrum/Hitting/Bouncing on Bed)
by Needanap, Jun 06, 2003 12:00AM
Our four year old son is having major trouble going to sleep. Our normal nightly routine includes brushing teeth, glass of water, reading books, and listening to a tape or CD then falling asleep with Mommy or Daddy next to him in his bed. My wife and I alternate this routine with the four year old and his six year old brother. For the past few months the four year old completes the entire routine then all of a sudden gets up and bounces on the bed/hits Mommy or Daddy/cries/throws things, or a combination thereof. We have unsuccessfully tried rewards (bribes), taking away privliges, spanking, etc. with little to no success.
Any ideas?
Any ideas?
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Jun 08, 2003 12:00AM
, Jun 08, 2003 12:00AM
This advice may not rest well with you, but you have unwittingly created a problem for yourselves. That is, children do better, in general (because there are always exceptions to the rule), when they 'learn' from a young age (infancy) to fall asleep by themselves. You have made your son dependent on your presence. To manage the current problem, if he does not cooperate with the routine, place him in time out for approximately ten minutes. Then, if he is ready to be in his bed quietly, he can return to bed. If not, he should remain in time out. Alongside this part of the plan, establish a reward system whereby he receives a modest reward the morning after he accomplishes the routine without difficulty. Now, you are the parents and will certainly decide what you think is best, but you would be doing your son (and yourselves) a favor by weaning him and his brother from the part of the routine whereby you are resting next to them.
1) Is his bedtime to early? If he is not tired, he will tolerate the routine, but then be ready to play.
2) Has he had bad dreams, or other negative associations that would make him not want to sleep?
3) To start weaning him, only lay down with him the one time. If he gets up, it is going to have to be his problem how he gets back to sleep.