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Please Help Us Understand this behavior
My four yr. old Granddaughter is the constant cause of concern. She displays "melt downs" that are uncontrollable. She kicks, screams,spits, cries and screams at the top of her lungs. We are
not sure what brings it on, it usually occurs at the time of change going from one place to another, but has happened for no
apparent reason. It is embarrasing, stressful and beyond anyone's capability to get her to stop. She also purposely doesn't speak to certain members of the family at times, leaving them out and making them feel bad. She will actually turn her head, so as not to make eye contact, making it very apparent that you are the person on her list for the day. Another area of concern is, she transforms herself into the princess of choice, be it Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Bell, right in the midst of whatever she is doing. You can actually see the transformation in her behavior and have to ask her who she is. My Daughter is exhausted with her behavior. We all want to help, but we all need to know how to handle my Granddaughter's outbursts, snotty attitude and transformations. It is to the point that some family member's regard her as a "Brat" and even avoid speaking to her for fear it will change the course of our visits. PLEASE HELP!!!! I have never seen anything like this in any child. She has a younger sister (10 months old), but I think this was going on before the baby came. They both get tons of attention. In fact, I am very careful to give her attention first. She does get jealous when I spend time with the baby, but once I include her in the process, she accepts it and we get along just fine. She has a loving home and my Daughter is the most attentive Mother I have ever seen. I didn't have half of her patience. My daughter has tried time outs, talking & reasoning, asking her how she feels at these times and has even resorted to spanking, which she said she would NEVER do. Nothing at all so far has worked. Can you please give us some direction so we know how to work with this four year old during these times of uncontrollable outbursts?
not sure what brings it on, it usually occurs at the time of change going from one place to another, but has happened for no
apparent reason. It is embarrasing, stressful and beyond anyone's capability to get her to stop. She also purposely doesn't speak to certain members of the family at times, leaving them out and making them feel bad. She will actually turn her head, so as not to make eye contact, making it very apparent that you are the person on her list for the day. Another area of concern is, she transforms herself into the princess of choice, be it Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Bell, right in the midst of whatever she is doing. You can actually see the transformation in her behavior and have to ask her who she is. My Daughter is exhausted with her behavior. We all want to help, but we all need to know how to handle my Granddaughter's outbursts, snotty attitude and transformations. It is to the point that some family member's regard her as a "Brat" and even avoid speaking to her for fear it will change the course of our visits. PLEASE HELP!!!! I have never seen anything like this in any child. She has a younger sister (10 months old), but I think this was going on before the baby came. They both get tons of attention. In fact, I am very careful to give her attention first. She does get jealous when I spend time with the baby, but once I include her in the process, she accepts it and we get along just fine. She has a loving home and my Daughter is the most attentive Mother I have ever seen. I didn't have half of her patience. My daughter has tried time outs, talking & reasoning, asking her how she feels at these times and has even resorted to spanking, which she said she would NEVER do. Nothing at all so far has worked. Can you please give us some direction so we know how to work with this four year old during these times of uncontrollable outbursts?
I would like to reply to the post made by Granny Goose.
My granddaughter was acting the same way, throwing terrible
tantrums lasting hours of screaming and kicking. Absolutely
nothing would work to curtail them. We were beginning to think she was having some real mental problems.
Turns out she had pinworms. We didn't know something like that
could cause such behavorial problems.
She had her chewable tablet about 4 days ago, and our little
sweetheart is back to her old self again.
thought it might be something for you to look into.
My granddaughter was acting the same way, throwing terrible
tantrums lasting hours of screaming and kicking. Absolutely
nothing would work to curtail them. We were beginning to think she was having some real mental problems.
Turns out she had pinworms. We didn't know something like that
could cause such behavorial problems.
She had her chewable tablet about 4 days ago, and our little
sweetheart is back to her old self again.
thought it might be something for you to look into.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
It will be important to determine if the behavior is in the category of behavior problem (i.e., with no underlying emotional disorder), or if the behavior is symptomatic of an emotional disorder (such as Mood Disorder). Of course, one way or the other the behavior will need to be managed, and in this regard I'd suggest her parents take a look at Lynn Clark's very useful and practical book titled SOS: Help for Parents. Relative to the possibility of Mood Disorder, an evaluation by a pediatric mental health clinician will clarify the picture. It is likely that parents will need to be more systematic about the behavior management plan. Many parents have the experience that use of time out is not helpful. But more often than not the problem isn't with the technique itself, but rather with how it is implemented. In that regard, Clark's book will be quite instructive.
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