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Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
9 old boy developement concens
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
9 old boy developement concens
by George C, Nov 05, 2003 12:00AM
I have a nine yearly old boy who is in grade 4 born in 1993, and I don't know what's going on with him. He has a tough time remembering to do some of the basic things with out being reminded. Like washing his face, and brushing his teeth before going to school or remembering to take his back pack or bringing his homework or doing some of his most basic chores. He seems to want to take the easiest root when he can. He does not want to accept responsibility and would rather blame others or find excuses why things are not done. When things don't go his way he grabs a pillow and punches it when asked "what's wrong" he pipes "I'm angry" and usually it's because he's not allowed to do something; have a sleep over, get a video game or not having a friend over. Since kindergarten he has not liked school. He has the spelling development of a grade 2. He still wants his mom or I to cut his food and would rather have other people do things for him. His fine motor skills i.e.; using a knife and fork, penmanship seem behind. He does not want to learn to ride a bike or skateboard. The other day after Jujitsu he came home in tears wanting to quit because he said he has no friends. He does have a few friends but when he gets together with them they start arguing and it's usually because he wants them to do things his way. I have ask him what he thinks friendship is and he seems uncomfortable trying to talk about it. When you ask what's wrong he starts blaming the other boy even though I can see and hear that it's him. For the most part he does not like to share.He seems very self centred. I think he likes to win always, when he and I would have a running race he would cut me off using his hands to keep me behind him. He seems to lack social skills when around others sometimes saying "bye" rather nervously and in a baby voice or acting silly or saying silly stuff. The other day he was playing with his 2 year old cousin talking in young childish talk.When we want to watch TV as a family he would rather be in the other room by himself saying he likes to flick around the stations. He lost a tooth the other day and put it under his pillow then moved it to his dresser "for the tooth fairy". We exchanged the tooth with 4 dollars, and the next day he wanted his tooth back. We asked him to write a letter to ask for it and he did. The reason he said he wanted back "was to polish it". He carried it around.
Lately he has been asking me questions like; Have I ever got an "F" in school or If the house was on fire would I risk my life to save his hamster or our dog or What was the worst thing I had done when I was a Kid.
His mother recently started smoking again (not in front of us though) which he knows about. He has told me that if he sees her with a cigarette he would just grab it out of her mouth and throw it away. He has also told her the samething.
Any suggestions to help in his developementor and behavior would be appreciated.
with thanks
George
Lately he has been asking me questions like; Have I ever got an "F" in school or If the house was on fire would I risk my life to save his hamster or our dog or What was the worst thing I had done when I was a Kid.
His mother recently started smoking again (not in front of us though) which he knows about. He has told me that if he sees her with a cigarette he would just grab it out of her mouth and throw it away. He has also told her the samething.
Any suggestions to help in his developementor and behavior would be appreciated.
with thanks
George
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Nov 06, 2003 12:00AM
, Nov 06, 2003 12:00AM
It is likely that your son has a form of learning disability, coupled with some developmenatl disorder/delay. The precise nature of the developmental immaturities can be pinned down via professional evaluation. You can discuss this with your son's pediatrician. Tell him/her that you have some concerns about your son's cognitive, social and emotional development, and that you would like an evaluation and guidance about how to proceed. As an aside, the behavior of hitting the pillow and announcing his anger is really OK. But it's important to proceed from there and help him solve the problem, if there is a problem to be solved at such times. When he's angry about having been denied a request, that's fine. It's normal for a child to be angry under such circumstances, and he's managing the anger without doing anything disruptive or destructive.
