Should we be concerned?

Question

I have a daughter who turned three this past December.  Up to now she has been involved in a few social activities (i.e., preschool twice a week, ballet class) where I've noticed that she does not always follow the leader/teacher's direction - she's too busy chatting, exploring, or just doing her own thing.  She just doesn't seem very focused, whereas the other children in her age group seem to have no problem following direction and doing what they are told.  I was mortified today when her ballet teacher told me "You must explain to your daughter that she needs to listen in class."  I talk/discipline my daughter several times a week about her listening skills, and I don't seem to be making an impression.  I guess my question is, is this type of behavior normal for a three-year-old child?  She is otherwise bright and articulate.  What can I do to help her?

peachrose · Answer

Tell the teacher that she needs to say your daughter's name first, get eye contact, then give the direction. Don't compare her to other children, she is not them and they are not her. She has her own special talents and probably every other mother there is wishing that her child was a sociable as yours.

goopsmom · Answer

My son is the same way. He is five. He listens at school since we put him in Montessori, but at home forget it. My little trick - when he doesn't listen to us, we say "blah blah blah...". A few seconds of that and he is ready to listen. Also, make sure your child is getting enough sleep. They are so easily distracted when they are tired.

Brendan_4127 · Answer

One thing i want to add to that.. Firm Voice.. Always does the trick

Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. · Answer

Yes, it is actually quite normal for a child her age. I say this because it does not sound as if she is being oppositional or defiant, but simply somewhat inattentive. Classes or activities that require sustained attention may not be the best choice for her right now. Rather, choose activities that require limited guidance and more action. As she matures, you will see an increase in her attention. At home, be sure she is following your directions, and do not let youself get into the habit of repeating directions over and over. When you give her a direction, be sure you establish eye contact, give the direction in clear and simple terms and, if you repeat the direction, be sure to do so only one more time.

Should we be concerned?

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