is 3 worse?

Question

My son is now three, I thought it was suppose to be the terrible two's?   anyway, my son seems to know challenge and not listen to us unless we get a firm firm voice.  I am not sure if we conditioned to him to only obey when we get a harsher tone or what.  Also he only seems to want to obey when he discipline him, like take away his toy for 10 minutes, then he becomes upset and doesnt want it. or he goes to his room and closes the door and wants to be alone.  the question i guess is if that is normal and what is a positive way to discipline him.  Also he seems to get upset when he has to try something and is quick to say i cant, and we try to say you can but he gets mad, although he doenst throw a tantrum he whines or throws the object until we do it.  although he is quick to learn to do it and do himself later...thank you

missminie · Answer

Fron age three to four if I could have shipped my son away, I would have.  I read a book, "How to Behave So Your Chldren Will",and it changed my life.  It's all about controlling your own emotions and beig consistant 100% of the time.  Really common sense stuff.  Today my son is just shy of seven and a joy.. People often comment on his great manners and how well behaved he is.  My husband says we're lucky.  BULL.  Alot of sweat and tears went into that kid.  Good luck. This too shall pass.

wpouey91 · Answer

I have two children (now 7 and 12) and have always said that the "terrible twos" got a bad rap!  Three year old children are tougher!

Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. · Answer

There's no need to be alarmed, and I do not see the need for professional evaluation. If that is ever necessary, you live in an area rich in resources. You can begin by checking with your son's pediatrician for a recommendation.

jptapia · Answer

sometime he seems to regress, suck his finger, decide to crawl, etc.  we seem to just smile, and he stops and doesnt do it unless he misbehaves and then again he starts acting like baby...babling, try to talk in a babyish tone...:  also sometimes he trys to get the attention of other parents.  he is mainly w/us but when his mom has to leave, he gets upset and doesnt wnat to see her again...not sure if he is under stress or he needs to see a development pyschologist, is so how may we go about finding one? we live in north jersey, near manhattan, ny..
thanks

Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. · Answer

Re: the latter issue, there's no need to pressure your son to do things he's disinclined to do. Offer him a bit of mild encouragement and support, but if he still prefers not to do some activity, let it alone. He'll do it in his own time. There's no point in making a struggle of it. And be sure you don't defer to his whining or other behavior. If you do, you'll only encourage the behavior. When you give irections, do not do so over and over. This only serves to (a) teach him not to take you seriously, and (b) have you become more and more frustrated and angry. If he does not follow your direction the first time, say it only one more time, and use this form: "(Name), unless you ...., you are going to time out." Then, if he follws the direction, offer him verbal praise. If he does not, immediately send him to time out. Do not give the direction a third time. There's no need to raise your voice in anger. Be authoritative and decisive, but do not yell.

is 3 worse?

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