My 12 year old step grandson is very aggressive to both adults and to other children. He has on a consistent basis hit, kicked, pulled hair, pushed and physically hurt other children and his mother both since he was very young. He also throws things, breaks objects and does not listen to anyone of authority. His record at school is not good..is defiant, does not do schoolwork, openly shows aggression to other children and teachers. As he grows older his actions are more frequent and intense. His mother (who is 32) has not been in the picture much up until 1 1/2 years ago. She joined the service shortly after he was born and the boy was taken care of by his father. Contact with mom was only by phone calls and visits 2 or 3 times a year. His parents are not together...have never been married. The mother gained temporary custody of this boy after much prodding from my husband. She is a very passive parent and is away(at work, school, etc.) a great deal of the time. When he visits us with mom, he rifles through our belongings after repeatedly being told no by his grandfather and I,breaks things when he gets mad, stands in front of television to block others view when he cannot watch what he wants(which is usually a program with violence) and will switch channels until we take control of the remote. He then gets very nasty and ugly. Mom, in the meantime, says nothing. He is allowed to stay up until all hours of the night at home watching TV, on the computer or playing violent video games. When he misbehaves at home there are usually no consequences. In the past he has urinated in inappropriate places(shoes, floor), broke his fathers' glasses because he was angry, has left the house in the night after everyone is asleep(which prompted putting an alarm on his door). He bucks authority is all aspects, has no respect for any adults including elderly relatives, feels he does not have to listen to anyone, and gets very nasty when he does not get what he wants. My husband has had thoughts of bringing him here for an extended period of time, but I disagree with this totally. I have to admit that I am a little afraid of this child! When he visits, I lock our bedroom door before retiring. Why is this child so mean and disrespectful? He can at time be sweet and loving, but those times are very few!
He has been diagnosed in the past with ADHC and possible bi-polar disorder and has been put on various medications, which his mother is very lax at seeing that he takes them regularly. She does not give them to him on weekends because she feels he needs a break from them. I have tried being patient with this child, but I feel myself beginning to dislike him and his mother both as time goes on. Is there and help for this boy?
Irma