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Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
8 year old deathly afraid to sleep by himself
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
8 year old deathly afraid to sleep by himself
by tammyr, Dec 22, 2005 12:00AM
My 8 year old is dealthly afraid to sleep by himself. Last night was the defining moment. He has indicated several times that he has bad dreams usually about spiders, robbers ect...
He is a big kid and it is impossible for me to get a good nights sleep with him, if I get up to move he follows me every where. Last night he had a friend over and at bed time he indicated that he couldn't sleep in his room which is on anther level. He was afraid of robbers. He started to cry and said that he was imbarresed that he needed to sleep with his mom or dad. But that didn't stop him. I truly do not believe this is a show. He is scared to death and the imbarresment of having to sleep with a parent wasn't enough. I have told him that we are safe. I have tried leaving on a light I have threatened to lock him in his room (although I can't see that helping if he is already scared to death). Any suggestions are welcome at this point. I just need some sleep.
He is a big kid and it is impossible for me to get a good nights sleep with him, if I get up to move he follows me every where. Last night he had a friend over and at bed time he indicated that he couldn't sleep in his room which is on anther level. He was afraid of robbers. He started to cry and said that he was imbarresed that he needed to sleep with his mom or dad. But that didn't stop him. I truly do not believe this is a show. He is scared to death and the imbarresment of having to sleep with a parent wasn't enough. I have told him that we are safe. I have tried leaving on a light I have threatened to lock him in his room (although I can't see that helping if he is already scared to death). Any suggestions are welcome at this point. I just need some sleep.
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Dec 22, 2005 12:00AM
, Dec 22, 2005 12:00AM
You should seek professional help for this variant of separation anxiety disorder. You are correct that, long term, having him sleep with you is not the answer. A sign of how entrenched the reaction is was provided by his not being able to alter the behavior even when a friend was visiting. Arrange an evaluation with a child psychologist, pediatric clinical social worker or psychiatric nurse. It may well be that, ultimately, a combination of therapy (including cognitive behavioral treatment) and medication will be required to help him achieve normal sleep behaviors.
whatever made them feel secure and could sleep peacefully.
Gods word says He will give us the sweet sleep of salvation. rememeber to tell your child that dreams aren't real. good luck i know how difficult it can be. we have 6 children or should i say teenagers and one 20 year old.. i hope i helped just remember there fears are valid alls you can do as a parent is be there to reasure them its ok..